Life, 1909-07-15 · page 9 of 28
Life — July 15, 1909 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page presents satirical biographical sketches of prominent society figures, humorously casting them as Greek gods. The text describes "Juno" (identified as Hera M., chairwoman of The Associated Wives of Olympus) and "Jupiter" (Peter B. Kronos, Esq.), treating real people's social accomplishments and organizational roles as mythological divine attributes. The cartoons depict these figures in classical Greek style—Juno as an enthroned matron, Jupiter as a bearded patriarch—visually parodying their social prominence by elevating ordinary domestic and civic achievements to mock-divine status. This is satirical commentary on elite society's self-importance, suggesting these wealthy socialites conduct themselves with unwarranted grandiosity. The joke relies on readers recognizing these actual society figures.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘Li E* Who's Who on Olympus JUPITER nd his Aunt Rhea. Born, A. J. 1, at No. 23 Belle- View avenue, Olympus Heights. Educated Mount Ida High School; Ph. B. (Bachelor of Philandery) Parnassus Matri- monial College; champion thunderbolt thrower, Olympian games; president Mythological Union No. Six since founda- tion; chairman board of directors Helicon Land Improvement Company; frequent contributor to current magazines under such familiar pen-names as Zeus, William J. Thunderer, Upton Synckronides and Optimus Maximus. Author of “Howto Be Happy, Though Married Several Times at Once,"* “ Wild Animals I Have Been," “ Sixty Ways of Win- ning a Wife, or the Complete Bridegroom: Being a Guide to Matrimony by One Who Has Suffered,”’ “ Etiquette for Minor Gods, or How to Get Into Society and How to Stay There,” and many other best-sellers of the period; editor-in-chief “The Universe,” a “Journal of Civilizati Married Susan D. Metis, Sara J. Themis, Hera M. Juno, Gwendoline Ceres, Amande M. Leto, Theodora Dione, Maude Mnemosyne, Jane Eurynome, and others too numerous to mention Founder of The Husbands’ Protective Association, Parnassus- ville; chairman house committee The Out-All-Night Club of Elysium; proprietor The Waldorf-Olympia Hotels Company ; honorary president The Little Mothers’ Association of Heli- con; grand master The Amalgamated Fatherhood of Anony- mous Posterity, and numerous other positions of trust. Recreations: Traveling, matrimony, cloud compelling, bolt hurling and vaudeville. In the latter diversion was a head- liner, especially in Protean performances. Residence : Olympus on alternate Thursdays in February. For other addresses, sce the personal column, The Helicon Sunday Herald. ‘upiter, George W., son of Peter B. Kronos, Esq.. of Chao: By Joux Kexprick Baxcs uno.—Hera M. Lady chairman of The Associated Wives of Olympus. Sister, wife and general mother-in-law of George W. Jupiter, Esq., and unanimously elected chaperone of the universe. Lady principal and mother superior of The Elysian Home for Indigent Affinities. In charge of the De- partment of Domesticity in the United States of Pa with special powers in all matters pertaining to the house- keeping affairs of the administration. The original ancestress of Mrs, Grundy. Founder of The Parthenian Club, an or- nization formed for the formulation and promulgation of the theory of monogamy, at that period regarded by many gods and goddesses as a assia, enace to an expansive and suffi ciently all pervading poste The first woman to appear upon the lecture platform; inventor of virtue, and its con- stant practitioner; said to have introduced wrinkles into the home as the badge of honor, dignity and endurance. Estab- lished the original so-called social lines, whereby one person became better than another and out of which has since sprung respectability. Discovered the quality of jea many ars kept her husband's ho: and ot faithfully and adequately supplied with it. Is said by close observers of her time to have bi almost as accurate in the handling of the flat-iron as a missile as was Jupiter himself in the manipulation of the thunderbolt for similar purposes. Was rather given to extemporaneous speaking than to writing, but has left a few literary fragments, which are “In Helicon with Mrs. Caudle, or Curtain Lectures Fit for the Gods."" “ How to Keep a Hus- band Without a Keeper: A quisition Upon Married ¢ by One Who Knows More About It Than She Wishes She Did,’ “ Wom- an's Aim, or Dish- Throwing in Ten Easy Lessons,"’ and “Scolding as a Fine Art." jousy, and for er enterprises. amon| comicbooks.com