Life — July 15, 1909 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Invitations HEN you're writing invitations for recep- tions, balls, collations, To your intimates, acquaintances and neighbors, By a verbal indiscretion of an_ il expression You may miss the very object of your labors, And through Jacking the advantage of a literary training May impair a reputation for successful entertaining. vised Though your Conversaziones may be crammed with friends and cronies, Who won't criticise your grammar and your spelling, And, by missives wrongly worded, strangers sometimes may be herded *Neath the roof-tree of your hospitable dwelling. By a lapse of taste or language folks are often much offended, When your party is a failure and your soirce unattended It is readily admitted that your phrases must be fitted To the status of the guests you are inviting, For what one accepts as normal to another seems informal, What a third enjoys a fourth regards as slighting. And what strikes the Upper Classes as a piece of maladroi ness May be looked on by ci ness! »i as (forgive me) hoigh poloit- You may favor a relation with a curt communication Which a stranger would consider sheer effront’ry Or address a peer demurely in a manner which would surely Sound affected to a “ cousin from the country ncing, 10 express yourself on paper, seem stilted to a So remember, ere cor That a style which suits a duch draper. hess 17 Let your writing-ink be blacker and more luminous than rE And your paper quite immaculately snowy ; If you purpose to invest it with a monogram or crest, it ing that is neat but never showy aintest form of perfume be selected, quer. hould be some And if scented, let the ist on being promptly disinfected. Let your meaning be explicit, so that nobody can miss it, And your writing of a legible description; People find it most confusing if you make a point of using Hieroglyphics like a primitive Egyptian "Tis as well to state quite clearly upon every invitation Poth the nature of your party and the length of its duration Let me instance the dilemma I wos placed in by Aunt Ema, Whom I esked to come and stay with me one Sunday; I did not refer at starting to the date of her departing, But I meant to entertain her just for one day. Tis a cmonth since this guest I had the pleasure of re- But she swears that she is Ledridden, and shows no signs of leaving! aL IREAE: Deportmental Ditties BY MARRY GRAHAM Then, again, a man named Harris, whom I stumbled on in Paris, At the Bristol or the Ritz—I often sup there And most foolishly invited (1 suppose I was excited) If in London to be sure and look me up there. “ Looks me up"’ cach single day, and, not content u * looking,” . Must propose himself to luncheon, and complains about my cooking! hh merely If the hostess, apprehensive, find the drudgery extensive Ev'ry time she asks acquaintances to dinner, Tis a fact there’s no denying that the duty of replying Offers just as hard a task to the beginner, But the following examples should be ample for explaining This particular department in the Art of Entertainin XAMPLE I “Mrs, A. B.C. presents Her respects and compliments To Mrs. and Miss D. She would deem it very pleasant If the latter could be present At her tiny Tea (Note. There will be Bridge for those who care to tak hand, Tennis in the garden and a military band.’’) Answer “Mrs. and Miss D. express heir eternal gratefulness To Mrs. A. B.C. Tennis they've no time to spare for, ‘Tea is not a meal they care for, Bridge they never play Military bands for them have little fascination So they must reluctantly refuse her invitation EXAMPLE II . “Mrs. E Mrs. F (Mrs. E.'s maternal aunt But at the last moment has b would be obliged if on—(here put the date), ‘ould condescend to dine with her at 8. coming up from Do en forced to throw her over.).’ r, Answer “Mrs. F. is much distressed to hear about the aunt; Gladly would replace her, but is sorry that she can’t Much regrets that on—(the date)—she is already dining, And she therefore has the greatest pleasure in declining. EXAMPLE IIT “HH, the Bhong of Bangalore, Will be At Home from 2 to 4. (Please enter by the tradesmen's door), To-d Wire. “Am fecling far from strong, Cannot join the merry throng, Tell the Bhong to run along, And play!" comicbooks.com