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Life, 1909-07-01 · page 38 of 44

Life — July 1, 1909 — page 38: what you’re looking at

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Life — July 1, 1909 — page 38: Life, 1909-07-01

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily **advertising and serialized fiction**, not political satire. The main content is "The Fact," a serialized short story about two shipwreck survivors: Mamie Shuffler (a vain woman reduced to a pathetic state) and Jezreel Simpson (a timid, bald, near-sighted man). The narrative mocks both characters—she's helpless and irritable despite her former vanity; he's physically unattractive and emotionally weak. Their "hostile silence" suggests the story satirizes the incompatibility of certain character types forced together. The page is dominated by **product advertisements**: Chiclets chewing gum, Club Cocktails, Vudor Porch Shades, and a puzzle game. These represent typical early-20th-century Life magazine revenue. No identifiable political figures or contemporary events appear. The satire is purely **social comedy** about personality types and human nature, not political commentary.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE Tan Maan Re US Pot Ore hiclels REALLY DELIGHTFUL CChe Dainty int Covered Gandy Coated Chewing Gum Particularly Desirable after Dinner BETTER—STRONGER More lasting in flavor than any other. A try—a test—Good-bye to the rest! Sold in 5¢10¢and 25¢ packets Frank f. fleer & Company Juc. Philadelphia WSA and GorontaCan. The Fact Tae were castaways on a desert isla M ie Shuffler had been considered a pretty girl on board the ill-fated Katzenjammer de Grocer, but this was before the accident in the fog. Now her hair was out of curl and clung in wet, straight wisps to her brow; her face, shiny ith salt water, white with the cold, would have taken the booby-prize at a beauty contest in an Esquimaux village. She had been crying and her ‘As for her clothes, it is just as well to have it understood at the very beginning that amateur theatricals had been in progress on board at the time of parting amidships, and that, as Mamie had been costumed in a bathing suit. she was now in a pitiable condition. It had been fa green bathing dress, with red sea-horses, and had been designed for kodak purposes. Now it looked like an Irish battlefield, and the feet of a e's striped stockings were cut away. Jezrcel Stimpson was ber companion. He was a good head shorter than she, quite bald, pink- eyed, excessively timid and asthmatic. His duck- ing had done perhaps less to injure his personal appearance than hers, but even his mother had never been proud of his looks. Jezreel, his rab- bit teeth ch: ring with the cold, sat on the sand near Mamie, and listened to the sniffling that proclaimed her woe. “T wonder how long before we shall be res- cued?" said Jezree! “We shall d-d-die of st-tarvation,’’ and savages." Jezreel moved nervously. After a silence Mamie started up and began walking to and fro, swingi: her arms. “I'm freezing to death,” she snapped. “Can't you make a fire? “T haven't any matches. sick to smoke.” said Jezrecl. She walked a little further along the beach | he} er efforts r efforts to get a I little 1 warmer. The “Hello” Puzzle — CAN YOU RING OFF ? nose was red. sobbed It always made me No. 61 0f 1000 ueelut games, toys, jokes, The mont interesting COMPANY, Dept. $, 15 Warren Street, New York was so dense that she was almost lost to sight within a few yards. In a moment she came back with something in her hand, which she held open under Jezreel’s eyes. “What are they?'? she inquired. “I don’t know,’? said he, miserably. “ Huckleberries? "’ she suggested. “They may be poison,” said Jezreel. “I'm starving,’” she insisted. “They may be poison,” he repeated. “Don’t you know anything about this kind of thing? “ Nothing. dark Mamie tossed the dubious berries to the sand “We must explore the place,”” she said. “Get up and come along.”” “Give me your h: said Jezreel. “I-feel so very shaky."” She drew him up to his feet, contemptuously. “What makes you blink like that? "” she demanded, irritably. “I lost my spectacles in the sea," he answered. “1 am very near-sighted.”” He had not suffi- cient spirit to be angry, but he had always hated just this kind of a girl. They started along the beach together in a hostile silence. Oh, what shall we do when it gets A Bottled Delight Club Cocktails Ever wanted a cocktail, and found that gin, ver- mouth or whiskey had run out? This never happens with Cus Cock alts in the house. Keepa bottle on hand and have the best cocktail in the world always ready for serving. Martini (gin base) Man- hattan (whiskey base) are al- ways popular. G. F, HEUBLEIN & BRO. Hartford New York Y), Porch UMOP Shades Wee "bar Porch Cool. Shady, and Comfortable . onthe Hottest Day. ‘They keep oat the glare and heat of the sun yet leave the porch airy and breeze-open. ‘Vader Porch Shades are made of wide strips of linden wood, firmly bound with strong seine twine. They are Eriouleally tained with weather-prgot colers in Fre ihd'browass “They last for gears. Vudor Porch Sha must not be confused with flimsy bamboo or importe screens, Vador Porch Shades cost from $2.25 up, accord= ing to width, anda porch of ordinary size can pletely equipped with them at acost of from $5 to $10, Write for Booklet and Name of Local Dealer We will send free, upon receipt of a stal card ree gysste ae Bexutit Nistor Boehicetaty decibine ang trating, in actual ‘colors, Vader Porch Shades a Vador Retnforced Hammocks. With the booklet we will send you name of dealer in your town, BOUGH SHADE CORPORATION, 243MiIII St., Janesville, Wis. The fog ‘The island was sandy, rising in dunes, topped with waving sea-grass. They made the circuit of it in about a quarter of an hour, having seen nothing but sand and sea-grass and water. They sat down again in their former places and watched the tide go out. Presently with an inspiration born of hunger. Mamie went down to the receding water edge and dug in the sand. Her labor was rewarded by finding a clam, but it was closed like a jail and there was nowhere a stone with which to break it. She held it up. “Can't you think of a way to open this?’ Jezreel shook his-head weakly and lay down in the sand, his head buried in his arms. He lay there for a long time wondering if there would be anything in the Centreville paper about _ After an hour or so he was aroused by "* she said, “and look at this. He turned over and sat up. The fog had rolled back sufficiently to show that in the low tide a long neck of sand ran out like a bar from where they sat. Even as he looked the fog went 38 on clearing itself away. Then, like a mirage, appeared before them a long shore, lined with cottages, hotels and bathing houses. The sand bar lay a wet glistening pathway to this populous land. Mamie sat down hurriedly and tucked her appearing toes into the sand “You go over there just as fast as you can," she said crossly, “and get me some clothes. Be sure you bring a hand-glass. And mind you get back before anybody finds me here." The Fiction Mortimer Van Arden opened his eyes and stared at a cloudless blue sky. Then in a jump memory returned to him. Forgetting his own weariness and pain, he sprang up and looked about him. Lying close beside him on the sand was the woman he had saved from a watery grave at the risk of his own life. Her heavy brilliant hair had uncoiled in the battle with the sea, and lay glinting about her. She was so beautiful as she lay there that Van Arden’s al- re. overstrained heart was taxed almost beyond endurance. He had secn her on shipboard, the queen of the captain’s table. Her simple gown of green pailletted velvet clung to her heavily, sparkling in the radiant sunset. She looked like some fabled mermaid, resting after a merry gam- bol in the waves. But was she living? The thought struck cold upon his heart. She had in this brief moment become to him the ‘dearest thing in all the world. Lifting her gently and easily in his stalwart arms, he carried her to softer, drier sand. Then he took from his pocket a small glass, a teaspoon, a bottle of aromatic ammonia, and a flask of limpid water. Deftly mixing a dose of the stimu- lant, he tenderly forced it between her closed but pearl-like teeth. Unable to restrain his admira- tion for her docility in taking it so bravely, he dared to kiss her hand and murmured “I love you!" (Continued on page 39) WRITERS—ARTISTS Me at Suen Jobe, Pou, Tastrations, Dex ston. We hace tion aad ns CAM RETCRNS, expla rrqeest Mention Four'Iine ‘The Rarell Syedieats, 152 Brunswick Bldg. Sew York comicbooks.com