Life — June 3, 1909 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

sly ee has | whic Protection \ poor farmer of Pennsylvania raised, with reat care and attention, a fine crop of wheat, forgot, in the joy of his success, how many Grops of sweat the precious grain had cost him “| will sell some,”’ said he to his wife, “and with the proceeds I will buy carpet for our bare fioors." The honest countryman, arriving in delphia, there met an American and an lishman, Give me your wheat,’ said the American I will give you seventy-five Is of car- pet.’ The Englishman said: “Give it to m and I will give you a hundred yards, for we Englishmen can make carpets cheaper than Americans can, for our wool is not taxed.” But a customs house officer, standing by, said to the countryman: “ My good fellow, make your exchange, if you choose, with the American, but my duty is to prevent your doing so with the shman.”* What!” exclaimed the countryman, “do you wish me to take seventy-five yards of American I can have one hundred yards from “ertainly. Do you not see that J be a loser if you were to receive ards instead of seventy-five?" I can scarcely understand this," said the ” said the customs house r, “but there is no doubt of the fact, for Congressmen and editors all agree that a people is impoverished in proportion as it receives a large compensation for any given quantity of its produce.’ Thus having been protected from the English man, the countryman was obliged to conclude his in with the American. Consequently his wife carpeted three rooms (had he sold to the shman, she could have carpeted four). se good people are still puzzling themselves to discover how it can happen that people are ruined by receiving four instead of three, and why they are richer with seventy-five yards than with one hundred. The next year the farmer voted for “ Pro- tection "'—as usual. He wondered why he could not make ends meet—as usual—(From ti French of Bastiat, in the Chicago Public.)— will hold gasoline above ground. A Fiveted tank of the tin can variety can be made air-tight by soldering it~and drome there a.m ressire on fivit fay remain airtight, Hut put that fank underground and how long will remain tight? ‘The weight of the earth will be Veakage. AIR-TIGHT STEEL TANKS Pleced Underground igh grade steel, 3-16in, |, without rivet oF solder joint . swe have Successfully used anufacture of tanks for the largest railroad systems in the world tor 20 years. AIR-TIGHT STEEL TANKS are sold on 30 days’ trial with an abso- ite money-back guarantee. Write for Htustrated RookletmFREE THE AIR-TIGHT STEEL TANK CO. 418 Wood Street PITTSAUROM, PA. CS. HE sensation ot riding in the seven passenger six-cylinder Oldsmobile is comparable to sailing in a swift, luxuriously appointed yacht. The car soars over every hill, without a tremor; the inequalities of the road are smoothed out by the fine spring suspension, shock-absorbers and long wheel base. The “Six” has all that simplicity and strength which have made the word “Oldsmobile” synonymous with “reliability”... And you need not delegate the wheel to the chauffeur, for you will find ‘the Six as easy to drive as the smaller cars; always under control by reason of its powerful brakes and alert responsiveness to the throttle. Price, fully equipped, $4500. OLDS MOTOR WORKS, LANSING, MICH. ‘The Oldsmobtte Co. of Canada, Ltd., Toronto, Ont.. Agent for Canada. Not to Be Forgotten Mr. Hammond's face was so ugly as to be almost grotesque, although nobody ever thought about his looks after hearing him talk. “If I hadn't known I was one of the homeliest peo- ple in the world, I might have been surprised at a remark made by old Pomp, the body servant of one of my Southern friends,” be once said “T hadn't seen Pomp for fifteen years, and as I had grown from a boy to a man in that time, I did not expect to remember me, but he said, ‘Howdy, Marse Hammond, sah!’ the mo- ment he caught sight of me. “*So you remember me, Pomp,’ I s “*Couldn’t. nebber forgit yo’ face, Marse Hammond, sah,’ grinned Pomp. ‘ Hit's so kinder complicated Washington Post. 787 She Proposed to Boss Newep (after the ceremony): Dearest, do you really think I'll prove a satisfactory mate? Mrs. Newep: Oh, | guess you'll do as a mate, all right. Now look me over and tell me what you think of your captain.—Lippincott’s A sTubeNT at a medical college was under ex- amination. The instructor asked him: “ Of what cause, specifically, did the people die who lost their lives at the destruction of Herculaneum and Pompeii? I think they died of an erup- tion, sir,” answered the student—The Wasp. Baruer (rather slow) your hair is turning a bit gray Victim: Shouldn't wonder. Look at the time I've been here—Chicago Daily N pardon, sir, but comicbooks.com