Life — June 3, 1909 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

780 -LIFE: little rough. I would really like to test that medicine.”* “Well,” replied Mrs. Whittler, cheerfully, “don't be too impatient. There's plenty of time.”” The next morning dawned bright and beautiful. Whittler approached the captain. “ Captain,”” he said, “ what are the chances for a storm?” “Very slim,”’ replied that dignified man. “It looks like even keel all the way.”” “Don’t say that. Can't you give me any hope? ’” The captain cast his weather eye to as much windward as there was, considering the fact that there was not a ripple on the water. “Tt looks more like an Irishman’s hurricane than anything else. What do you want it to blow for? Most people like it this way.”” “It's a matter of business with me. I want to test a rem- edy for seasickness.”” Oh.” The captain smiled scornfully. The day wore on. There was no change in the weather. As evening closed in Whittler began to get nervous. “Look here!" he exclaimed to his wife, “do you realize that we are wasting valuable time? If this keeps up—"’ “ Don’t be a pessimist," said Mrs. Whittler, encouragingly. “In twenty-four hours from now you may be groaning in bed.”” “That's what I'd like to see! I mean, I like to see the possibility of it. Give us a good, rousing gale, with waves mountain high. It can’t come too quick to suit me. Oh, to be tossed and pitched on the bounding billows.”” “Isn't the weather lovely?" said the pleasant-faced little lady, who just joined them. Too lovely,”” replied Whittler. “I wish we would have a storm."* “It would be rather nice,’ said the pleasant-faced lady. “Do you really mean it? ’? exclaimed Mrs. Whittler. “Why not?’ “That's the way to talk,” cried Whittler. “Let the wind howl.” But no wind howled. Every day dawned bright and beau- tiful. No whitecaps showed. All was like a lake. As the time wore on Whittler grew morose and sullen. But hope springs eternal, and he stuck to his medicine faith- fully. On the fifth afternoon he said to Mrs. Whittler: “T've seen the chaplain. What for?” “Well, I didn’t know but he could help us out. I've been working up to it for some days, you know, and I got him to pray for a storm. You know, my dear, in a crisis like this, one is ready to do almost anything.” “You may regret it," said Mrs, Whittler, who was scandal- ized by his admittance. “It’s awful.”* “Nonsense! Then TI got acquainted with the boatswain, and he’s doing all he can, He's set some of the crew whis- tling for wind. They have also stuck a sheath knife in the mast—the sailors believe in this—and we're in hopes we can get the cook to kill a pig. They tell me this is almost a sure thing.”” “ And do you believe it? "” “I'm ready to try everything. My dear, think of what it means! Why, if I'm not seasick in a storm, a fortune awaits ust’? Mrs. Whittler, in answer, waved her hand in the direction of some dark clouds that were piling up on the horizon. “That may mean something,”” she said. “ Hooray !'" exclaimed Whittler. “It’s coming.”* Even as he spoke, ripples appeared on the water. The at- mosphere began to change. In a little while there was a spanking breeze. Then the wind gradually increased. The steamer felt it. At first she began to roll gently. “ How do you feel?’ asked Mrs. Whittler. “Never better. Let's go to dinner.” By the time they were seated at the table, the elements were getting quite busy. There was that peculiar combina- tion of movements: first, a long pitch forward, then a short jerk in between, then a convulsive roll—all of which is proper introduction to that desperate feeling in which the paticnt welcomes death in any form. “T'll take some more of that apple pic,” said Whittler, with a joyful ring to his voice. Then they staggered up on deck. The storm was full upon them. The great vessel tossed and rolled. Whittler gazed at his wife grandly. “Eb! he exclaimed. “Isn't this simply great! qualm of us. That night neither of them slept much, on account of the commotion; as the next morning they entered the English Channel, things were no better. But Whittler was so filled with his great discovery that nothing dampened his spirits “Think of what it means to both of us,’ he exclaimed, as they went down to breakfast. “ Hal’ said the captain, as he caught sight of them. “ You had your wish. I haven't seen such a storm for months. Eb! How is your invention?” “ Splendid,” cried Whittler, “You see," he said, proudly. “Waiter, bring me everything on the bill of fare.” “ The strange thing about it," said the captain, “is that no one on the ship has been seasick “Indeed,”” said Whittler, “that is strange. How do you account for it?” The captain leaned over confidentially.“ Quite easily,” he said. “ But if you wish the truth from headquarters, ask that pleasant-faced, smiling little lady at the next table. You know the one I mean. After breakfast Whittler approached her. “How do you account for the fact,’ he said, “that no one on the ship was seasick during the storm? The captain tells me you know.” “ Because,"” she said, “I have been treating them. Didn't you know that the company employs me? I am a scientist. Seasickness is only an error of mortal mind.”* Whittler turned to his wife. “My dear,” he said, sadly, “unless we can change our tickets, we're doomed to get back home again without know- ing the truth. For we're booked to return on this boat.”” “T don’t see,” replied Mrs. Whittler, “that it makes any difference, a For who is going to buy your medicine when the steamship companies have climinated the cause? "’ Not a I tell you, Jack is a wonder. A fortune for both comicbooks.com