Life — May 20, 1909 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Hotel Cape May Cape May City, New Jersey Directly on the Beach gr greg oom Soda Cracker Logic Fireproof; 350 bedrooms, 150 private baths, with hot and cold sea water. American and European plans. ~ Any baker can make an ordinary soda For literature, rates and general information, address JOHN P. DOYLE, Manager cracker—but to produce Uneeda Biscuit ye May City, N. J. . . o . —“r requires the specially fitted bakeries of the What He Wanted “You are a poor young man?” < NATIONAL “Then what you want is a thrifty, economical ‘ot at all. What I want is a rich, liberal s con: A Clerical Ambiguity ote Captain Foretopp tells a story of a certain 4 noted divine who was on his steamship when a | pi great gale overtook them off the Oregon coast CO M PANY “It looks pretty bad,” said the Bishop to the captain. Forcemen Be: mach: worms: Bishops” senlied All soda crackers are food. But there Half an hour later the steamship was diving é m - ster thewancs aif she wos» submarine is only ove soda cracker highest in food ks ks worse, I think, captai aid the . Bho ne a value as well as best in freshness. Of “We must trust in Providence now, Bishop,” answered Foretopp. SE Foch ot:come io that” gusped course, that soda cracker is the Bishop.—Wasp. Motor Tis happened in the days when history was made, at a frontier post forty miles from a rail- road. The officer of the day had just joined from graduation leave, and the recruit on post n e had arrived a week carlier from the depot at David's Island. And he was one thoroughly dis- pasted recruit; sick of sage brush and jack- a a nbbits; longing for the sights and sounds of his tative Manhattan. The young officer was in a tantering ‘mood, and after having asked our re- eruit what action he would take in every pos- sdle (and impossible) contingency, finally asked, “What would you do if you saw an express train crossing the parade grounds?” Instantly came the answer, “By G- . Lieutenant, if it was goin’ cast, I'd jump right on it.’"—Uncle Sam's Causeandeffect A Modern Improvement Three doctors were operating on a man for Apieceortwoofpic; appendicitis. After the operation was completed Andpulpsacupeteoficedewn one of the doctors missed a small sponge. The Whilejoucestueare patient was reopened, the sponge found within, and the man sewed up again. Immediately the . second doctor missed a needle. Again the pa- Then, later on, there comes to him tient was opened and closed. Then the third A very common question; doctor missed a pair of scissors. ‘ Gentlemen He wonders how it was that he said the vii they were about to open him Contracted indigestion, up again, “for heaven's sake, if you're going to —Coburn Giant Talks. keep this up, put buttons on me.’ —Success. IS YOUR WATCH INSURED? It can't be taken by the most expert pickpocket, if you fasten it with one of the Bridgeport Fastener The Game of Billiards Is eas tntereating at home because one doce not play his best game on a private table, Table, balls and cucs are the same, BUT— uo Ups and the chalk are different. 1 Club Willard Room, these small but important tines are never neglected. Spinks” Chalk fs found a Ievling Clabs because Nt prevents miscurs—bab a clinging Shouttoeta pot to be found In other chalks oblast Seit-Sticker Cue ‘Tipe are mate ts one Caatise end you eur Home Billard Supply ase contalsing Tout Ivory ‘Celluloid Pocket Chalk Cases, 2 dozen Ouit keel, So Assorted Sel Stcter Coe T All for 63.00, express pald anywher lurger Outfit for Clube and Public Rooms, Six Dozen Round Chatk, Siz Dozen Square Chalk, 209 Ssorted Spinks" Self-Sticker Cue Tips. anywhere. Heboltsasandwichandsomebeans, WILLIAM A. SPINKS & COMPANY Chicago, U. 5. A. factarers of Cue Tips la America in stamps for Sensational Pic- ture of Mise Cue— 12 x 18—for your Billard Room, ae a@: VOICI LILI III III IO OOOO OOODE S} Nor will it fall, if you wear a fob. Watch insurance for a quarter of a dollar! Nickel Plated Chain, 25c, Gold Plated Chain, 50c. All dealers sell them, or they'll be sent postpaid on receipt of price If stores are not convenient. Other handy articles secured. by Bridgeport Fasteners: Bachelor's Button, Cuff Holders, Key Rings, etc, Booklet on request, CONSOLIDATED SAFETY PIN CO. 192 Farrand Street, BLOOMFIELD, N. J. oe) comicbooks.com