Life — April 8, 1909 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WAKE Up, SAM! Every American husband, if he did but know it, has a soul of his own, capa- ble of development along certain lines, and there is really no reason why in the course of time he should not take his place nan equality with his wive. Ti. he has been kept down in the past and made to do inferior things such as voting and slaving in an office in- stead of giving afternoon teas and play- ing bridge, is in reality due to himself. Husbands, it all lies with you. By a concerted movement you can throw off your bondage. In the meantime, the national hus- lands’ conference, to be held in one of our largest cities, to which delegates will come from all parts of the country, is aking substantial progress. The time is ripe. The hour of deliv- erance is at hand. This bureau invites all of its patrons to give their aid. While we can be, as we have been, of immense service to individuals, it is only by a vast uprising on the part of every- one that a permanent reform can be in- augurated. Those who have already taken our course, or are beginning, should recor mend the bureau to all their friends. We are here to stay. Wherever the call of a tired and neglected husband is heard in the land we are here to respond Send for our little booklet, telling of forty-seven varieties of ways of keeping your wife under. Husnaxps’ Corkesroxpence Scutoor, (Liaciten). More Lies ETTY GREEN has given aw millions to start a home for de- crepit lawyers. Andrew Carnegie declined an invita- tion to a dinner to be given in his honor. President Baer, and a few other coal mine owners agreed that if there was a coal strike they would pay for the at- tendant increase in the price of coal out of their own pockets. Several New York hospitals made an appeal to the legislature to be examined with regard to their methods. The taxicab drivers met at the Wal- dort and passed resolutions declaring that hereafter they would be decently uniformly polite and observe the rules of the road. Dr. Charles Parkhurst was elected President of the Stock Exchange. The Black Hand Society was rounded up, tried in the morning, and every man hanged promptly in the afternoon. The Albany legislature passed the ap- pendicitis bill, making it unlawful here- after for any surgeon to charge more than one hundred dollars for an opera- tion that did not last over fifteen min- utes. The proprietors of the New York the- atres were excluded from all public ve- hicles, from all railroad trains and from all steamboats, It was declared by the District-Attorney that inasmuch as they kept people out of their theatres, which are public institutions, they could not themselves enjoy transportation priv- ileges. Several weekly papers agreed not to publish any more pictures about East Africa. FOOL and his popular. money are soon HEART AND SOLE comicbooks.com