Life, 1909-03-18 · page 22 of 32
Life — March 18, 1909 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising and miscellaneous content** rather than political satire. The dominant features are: **Advertisements:** Kelly-Springfield pneumatic tires (claiming superiority over competitors), Philip Morris cigarettes, and Great Bear Spring Water occupy significant space with standard commercial messaging. **Humor columns** appear under "Our Foolish Contemporaries," including anecdotes about Professor Rowland (a Johns Hopkins physicist) who, when asked under oath who was America's greatest scientist, answered "I am"—the joke being his honest egotism versus expected modesty. A second brief joke plays on the word "binding" (in book terms vs. egotistical). **Literary/verse content** includes poems like "When He Markets for the Zoo" (whimsical animal verse) and short satirical pieces about barbershop dialogue and romantic situations. The page reflects early 20th-century *Life* magazine's mix of commercial sponsorship and light social humor—not political commentary but rather gentle mockery of contemporary manners and vanity.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
MORE Kelly-Springfield Tires are used than any other make As soon as automobile owners find that the Kelly-Springfield Pneumatic is as good as the Kelly-Springfield Solid Tire, the Pneumatic will lead as the Solid Tire always has led. CONSOLIDATED RUBBER TIRE COMPANY 20 Vesey Street, New York, and Akron, Ohio Branch officesin New York, Boston, Chicago. Philadelphia, St.Louis, Detroit, Cincinsati and San Francisco. ~OuR FOOLISH. (ONTEMPORARIE He Was Under ler Oth The late Frofessor Rowland, of Johns Hopkins as the most cminent physicist since f Joseph Henry. Among his notable nents in the ri of pure science was n of the mechanical equivalent of heat and the use of gratings in spectrum analysis, for which purpose he devised a machine th inch on a plate of In the practical application of his knowledge he was noted as the inventor of the multiplex telegraph Some years ago, testify a the Cataract Power Co , in answer to a question on cross examination who, in his opinion, was rican scientist, he replied, “1 am After leaving the courtroom one of the lawyers ventured to criticise this answer for its effect upon the jury, whereupon Rowland exclaimed : “Well, what else could I say? Wasn’t I under oath York Globe. Appropriate Binding Jones is a stupendous egotist; he's wrapped up in himself, Bound in calf.—Lippincott's. GREAT BEAR SPRING WATER "PHILIP MORRIS ORIGINAL LONDON CIGARETTES Anywhere and everywhere, alwa to smo CAMBRIDGE the regular size 1MBASSADOR after-dinner site In Little Brown Boxes When He Markets for the Zoo Where the oryx roams the jungle And the kleen’boc runn : Where the kahau climbs th And the zikzak turns to There is where the nimrod + With the Afric game will While he checks their pro And then ca He'll outrun the swiftest cri He'll outjump the win He will prove the zark a As he markets for the zc There'll be howling in the As they duck and dodg But from oryx down to He will catch ‘em all Cle Tonsorial Note “Your hair wants cutting ba er to a customer, ©, it doesn't,”’ replied “it wants cutting ni Yo time."'"—Democratic Telegram Asnevitir, N. Co: The fours South, Tie Maxox, the English-lik The Last Straw Frank Daniels, early in his « cipal in a small company that provinces.’” Business had beer had become . Tt was ¢ knowledge that the new opera house d_been almost sold ou kept them t er. Wait until we get to Ticon¢ 3 ager would say to any one the price of a breakfast Finally they did re: eventide, and a rosy glow illumine sky Ah, me,"" sighed Daniels to The sim may set in other places, t it does here. Behold yon inset!" growled the driver hat's the opry house burnin body's Magazine. pa Pinch use A oS POOT-EASE” Says tHe Maxacra— such hideous ¥ : to be reproduced a is assured." —Cle' Many persons possess abi short story of Courage. Few long treatise of Fortit ty A Chance for All There was little doubt in th who were invited to the we y Johnson and Chloe Matilda ty of the invitation and read as follows: are invited to attend the Johnson and Mi house of the bri who cannot com “TNE IDEA OF ADMITIING SUCH A TUBE TO Tarot 2, “AM, BUT, ME 1S A FINE ADDITION 10 OF] rouo Tram!" comicbooks.com