Life — March 11, 1909 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Gratitude { father say when you asked him ig. He fell on my scenes on the Republic were not humorous incidents, A bald- an was accosted by a woman S streaming down her back, and xcitedly if he had a comb about iling the incident, he says: din. ect at her very sadly. ‘Then I took off | any bat."—-f ston Herald. | who asked hi Elimination » New York awoke one morning ves in Savannah. Remembering prohibition State, and having y of their surroundings, the pair | a still hunt for an eye-opener. | : acquainted and were in a quan- cre to start on their quest, and re debating the question mentally they were approached by a pleas- iceman, who wished them good y. Jim,” said one of the pilgrims to the other, “this is an opening. Here's a good fellow ask him."” It was agreed and the officer answered their question by saying heonically, “Follow me."" He walked them three blocks until they stood in front of the | cathedral. Here he paused. The travelers | Jocked at each other in astonishment. “ Surely, ny good man,” said the first, “you do not mean | to tell us that a blind tiger is being operated in Two men to find the that they we a thirst wor started out They were dary as to while they between the ant-leoking morning. “ 7 PETERS CHOCOLATE The Best Companion for a Winter Day’s Sport. “Trresistibly Delicious!” Sustaining. Wholesome as Bread and Butter, LAMONT, CORLISS & CO., Sole Agents, New York GREEN MTS. FOR SALE A COUNTRY PLACE, ALL READY TO LIVE IN, AT A BARGAIN H. K. GILBERT 637 Railway Exchange, CHICAGO, ILL. church?’ “You see asked the policer the church, do you?"’ solemnly. “ Yes,"’ as- sented the iw ell, that is the only place annah that you can’t get it,’’ said he— You Never Can Tell ways tell, says an exchange, what For instance, there is a story of a termined to commit suicide. He store and bought a rope, x can of x of matches, a dose of arsenic, He went down to the river and t from the shore and waded to > hung over; saturated his clothing | oil, lighted a match and set fire to took the dose of arsenic, put the evolver to his temple, pushed the vnder him, and pulled the trigger. ‘glanced and cut the rope above Il kerflop into the river; the water stand he got strangled and coughed He rose and waded out, and de- a candidate for the legislature on cket—The Wayne Register. coal oil, a and a revoly cr bis clothin muzzle of the boat from But the bu him and he Dut the fire « & the arsenic elared hims. the reform per recently arrived, a shade bustled up to ster.“ My good man,’’ said he, “ will you them, “It is just such a question as a gilded youth asked the head waiter in a Broadway res- taurant the other morning. ‘Was Blank here last night?’ he began. ‘Yes, sir,’ the waiter answered. ‘And,’ said the youth, nervously, “was I with him?’ "—Argonaut. Sound Logic “Why do you insist upon carrying a pistol? ”? asked the visitor from the North. Wall,”’ replied the denizen of the feud belt, “we ‘uns kain’t always be totin’ Philadélphia Ledger. A Real Strain A land-agent in the great Northwest had just described the incredible riches of the region. Some one protested, and he defended himslf, says a writer in the Outlook, with a paradox: “The truth is so nderful that it takes a whopper to express it! Youth's Companion, De Lancey Nicot, the New York lawyer, sing a celebrated case, gave his idea of a su cious question—one of those suspicious ques- tions which carry their own conviction win me where T must go to get souvenir 4) Post; eerie And St. Peter, eying him sourly, told where he could go -to—Argor aut. YOU CAN NOW Motor, Drive, Ride, Coach, Climb, Swim, Golf, Hunt, Sail, Fish, Canoe, Play Tennis CALIFORNIA TEXAS, ARIZONA, MEXICO, LOUISIANA Travel via the best route for comfort and picturesque scenery SOUTHERN PACIFIC SUNSET ROUTE THE NATURAL WINTER GATEWAY AND OPEN WINDOW ROUTE - Rock-Ballast Roadbed—Automatic Block Signals—Oll-Burning Locomotives—Superlor Equipment Ten days’ Stopover allowed at New Orleans on all tickets, For free illustrated pamphlets, Gaerintrtet wert oesiee: Sochee Paskc Amatice ora BOSTON PHILADELPHIA 179 Washingtoa St. 632 Chestnut St. “SYRACU: NEW YORK CHICAGO jackson 212 Washington St 118 Broadway 120 J: Bird. ABBOTTS BITTERS NEW ORLEANS BALTIMORE, ‘Magazine St. W, Baltimore St. Important to see that tt le Abbott's. comicbooks.com