Life, 1909-03-04 · page 34 of 44
Life — March 4, 1909 — page 34: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century humor: **"How to Prepare a Husband"** uses an extended cooking metaphor to mock both domestic advice literature and traditional marriage dynamics. The piece instructs women to "cook" husbands like meat—selecting, wrapping, and heating them with "love, neatness and cheerfulness" rather than vinegar or pepper. The satire targets prescriptive women's magazines that reduced husbands to objects requiring proper domestic management, while simultaneously mocking the assumption that wives should endlessly tolerate and reform their spouses. **"His Exception"** is a brief joke about a religious speaker's moral rule that young men shouldn't visit places they wouldn't take their sisters. When challenged, a youth claims the "barber shop" is the exception—the punchline being that barber shops were known as male-only spaces for gossip and leisure, socially inappropriate for women of the era. Both pieces satirize rigid social conventions and gender roles of the period through absurdist humor.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
eet AUT SCISSORS ==} AuT NULLUS How to Prepare a Husband A good many husbands are utterly spoiled in the cooking. Some women set them constantly in hot water: others let them freeze by careless- ness and indifference. Some keep them in a pickle all their lives. It is not reasonable to si pose that any husband can be tender and ap tizing treated in this way, but they are really delicious when properly prepared. In. selecting your husband you should not be guided by the silvery appearance, as in buying mackerel, nor by the golden tint, as in picking salmon. Be sure to select him yourself, as tastes differ. Do not go to market for him. The best are always brought to your door. But it is far better to have none unless you will patiently learn how to cook him. A preserving kettle of the finest porcelain is best; but if you have nothing but an earthen pipkin, it will do, with care. See that the linen in which you wrap him is nicely washed and mended, with the required number of buttons and strings securely sewed on. Tie him in the kettle by a strong comfort cord. The duty cord is breakable and apt to let him fly out of the kettle and become burnt and crusty on the edge. Of course, you know that like a crab or lobster, LEASE BUT I’M GLAD I DIDN’T TAKE OUT A ON THIS PLAcE,’” you have to cook him alive. Set him near a clear, steady fire of love, neatness and cheerful ness. If he sputters and fizzles, do not be anx ious. Some do this until they are quite done Add a little sugar in the form of what confec tioners call kisses, but no vinegar or pepper or any account. A little spice will improve him, by it must be used with judgment. Do not any sharp instruments into him to see if he is becoming tender. Stir gently, watching the while lest he lie too flat and too close to the kettle, and so become flabby. If thus treated you will find him digestible, agreeing nicely with you and the children. I vill keep as long as you like, unless you beco: less and set him in too cold a piace—Ethe! iland, in Woman's Home Companion, His Exception A religious worker, while visiting a Western town, gave a“ Talk for Men,” during the course of which he expressed 7 young man should visit any place to which would not feel justified in taking his own siste “Is there any young men present who thinks one may safely disregard this wise rule?’ asked the speaker. Whereupon a youth in the rear of the hall arose and shouted in a stentorian tone: “Yes, sir, I do!" “And what, sir,” demanded the angry and surprised speaker, “Is the place which you your- self would think of visiting to which you could not take your sister? "* “The barber shop!’ replied the youth.—Har- per's W . -multaneously in the United States, Great Brita ance. Additional postage to foreign countr: nts. Single current copies, 10 cents, for the loss or non return of unsolicited contributions. dors not hold iteelf respor. fealers in Great Britain. ‘The Inter Livu is tor sale by all N Canady and Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. ( id, AGENTS. Brentano's, 37 Ave, de Opera, P the Postal also at Siarbach’s News Exchanges, 1, New Coventry Street, Leicester Square, W. London: 9, ret three St. Georges, Paris; 1, Via Firenze, Milani Mayeace, Germany. Back numbers, Nocontribotion sill be returned waless accompanied by xamped and addreued evcelape, LATE nal News Compiny, Breams The text and illustrations in Live are copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced without special sermission obtained tn advances Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. ANNOUNCE that they are the sole agents for the which they recommend to their cus- tomers with their guarantee. With Brewster & Co. standard coach work, the lightest and _ strongest, these make an exceptional combina- tion of the practical and artistic. a number now Peerless Cars—}..iy tr cuccon plied with our exclusive coach work by special arrangement with the Peerless Motor Car Co. Also Panhards, Renaults and bodies for all chassis. Broadway and 47th Street, - BREWSTER & CO. Delaunay - Belleville Chassis BREWSTER & CO. New York “If it isn't the JACK that DUFF built, it isn't the BARRETT.” The Genuine Barrett Automobile Jack Barrett Junior —the only Jacks whose materials and construction measure up to the mechanical standard of highest grade motor cars. If a Barrett Jack is a part of your car's equipment you will know that its makers have not ape! it by sacrificing quality for the slight difference in price between real equipment and cheap imitations, The new BARRETT JUNIOR for medium and light weight cars is an efficient adaptation of the regular Barrett. To hate other than a Barrett Jack is to mar the mechanical efficiency of your car, Write for catalog, THE DUFF MANUFACTURING CO., 50 Church St., NEW YORK 118 Holborn, London = PITTSBURGH, PA. 4 Rue Auber, Paris PRI UF, comicbooks.com