Life — February 18, 1909 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

-LIFE: Truth RUTH is the only thing that never pro- duces ennui, The human family has never become intim: enough with it to be + bored Although the philosophers have been giving it a hard chase for many thousand years, they have never run it down; and it is still spry enough to elude the flank movements, cross cuts and center rushes of the college professors. Ever since the sinuous track of the Old Serpent was dis- covered upon the sands of time, Truth has bad a pretty large contract. In addition to its regular business. of uprooting Error and demolishing Falsehood, it has had to do some lively sidestepping to keep from under innumerable weighty theories that wanted it as a foundation for advertising purposes. It has also required some skillful dodging to escape a number of creeds that were foreordained to embrace it. During the past two hundred years, while the politicians have been madly rushing around to nail Lies, the scientists have been as wildly—and successfully—endeavoring to skewer Truth and hang it up to dry Like Liberty, Truth has had to stand for a good deal of “you WAVE "A NEW LITTLE BROTHER AND sis wir, witte,”” “WELL, Let’ P THE BROTHER, BUT COULDN’T YoU SWAP OFF THE SISTER FOR A TRAIN OF CARS?" / FRE ROO. — /Crorery / coop LAND SAKES, BUT WHAT AM 1 TO DO? NOBODY WANTS TO TAKE CHILDREN. “IT’S YOUR OWN FAULT, MADAM, FOR BEING SO OLD FASH- JONED. YOU SHOULD MAVE MAD YOUR CHILDKEN RAISED IN AN INcUBATOx.”? abuse on account of its friends—especially those long-haired, pale-faced, wild-eyed, adoring. esoteric friends who are ways praying to be allowed to kiss the hem of its skirt This is doubly embarrassing, for Truth does not wear skirts. It is not at all certain that it wears anything, bat if it does, it has entirely too much at stake to risk its rep by materializing in the guise of that sex whose chief charr is its uncertainty Then, too, Truth has been sorely tempted. Considering the coldness of the climate in which it is supposed to dwell and its undressed state, it surely has been hard to reject all the varnish that has been offered it by the orators. And when we see the kind of people that usually have it cornered, we are struck with the great moral backbone it must have required for Truth te resist the smiles of the many charming liars who have come to woo William H. He To a Disappointed Lover By Messenger. Dear Sir:—It is not my purpose to offer you the usual consolations which are deemed fitting and proper to be offered to one in your unfortunate condition. Ladies are ever fickle. I might, with the most effective display of learning, recount to you all the great men of his tory who have been deserted by the ladies with whom they have fallen in love I might discourse upon the shortness of life, upon the blessing of self control, upon the chastening effect of suck a misfortune as yours, and upon the fact, observed of all ob servers, that the course of true love never did run smooth I might point out, with truth, that there are still others left for you to choose from, and that if she is naturally per- verse, no doubt in many different directions, it is your priv- ilege to seck consolation. My dear and ever to be sympathized with sir, I shall none of these. Instead, I adopt an entirely different course The lady in question brings you this. She has recon- sidered her decision. Yours, ete., comicbooks.com