Life — January 14, 1909 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

oh (ai SAuT Scissors eS! Aut NULLUs Healthful Tombstone Nobody ever dics in Tombstone, unless—they brought it “with'm’? or fall into a 600-foot vertical shaft, or buy an automobile, or “sass their mother-in-law, or try to thaw out powder, or mistake cyanide of potassium for sugar, or start off a county seat removal racket. Some die of old age, some old partners of Daniel Boone, but none have ever been known to die from physical irregularities contracted in Tombstone, aside from the above mentioned causes, and oc- casionally an abnormal tightness about the throat, superinduced by a coil of manila rope, or from a cold caught through a hole made by a .45.— Tombstone Epitaph The Ninety and Nine A certain minister was deeply impressed by an address on the evils of smoking given at a re- cent synod. He rose from his seat, went over to a fellow minister, and said: “ Brother, this morning I received a present of 100 good cigars. I have smoked one of them, but now I'm going home and burn the remainder in the fire.”’ The other minister arose, and said it was his intention to accompany his reverend brother. n to rescue the ninety and nine,’’ he hiladelphia Ledger. DTRFE Slats Though modest are the needs of man, Suill less is woman's plight; She wants but little here below, And wants that little tight. York Sun. “rs MASTER'S voice ”* Tne rebellious angels had just been cast out of heaven. In the swift downward flight Lucifer overtook Beelzebub. “ What's troubling you, Bub?’ he called. “An old problem,’’ answered the future foul fiend, between somersaults— “Where are we going this fall? ''—Philadelphia Record. Woman, Lovely Woman SMORT DESCRIPTION OF A STYLE Her waist begins just below her neck. Her hips bave been planed off even with the rest of her body. She is usually buttoned up the back, and around her neck she wears a section of barbed wire, covered with lace. She wears on her head a blond haystack of hair, and on top of this a central dome with rings about the same size as those of Saturn. She is swathed in her gown like an Indian papoose, and on the end of her feet are dabs of patent leather. She walks on stiltlike heels with the expertness of a tight-rope dancer. The pores of her skin are full of fine white powder. This is a woman.—Harper’s Weekly. WOMAN Para was about to apply the strap. “ Father,” said Willic, firmly, “unless that instrument has been properly sterilized I desire to. protest.” This gave the old man pause. “ Moreover,” con- tinued Willie, “the germs that might be released by the violent impact of leather upon a porous textile fabric, but lately exposed to the dust of the streets, would be apt to affect you deleteri- ously."" As the strap fell from a nerveless hand Willie sloped.—Philadelphia Ledger. Domestic Economy They had automobiled in twenty-five miles to see Mr. Highflyer’s pet oculist, and on the re- turn trip three tires, one after another, had blown up. Whereupon Mrs. Highflyer remarked plain- tively and with intense conviction: “My dear Alfred, it would have been so much cheaper to have Kept you at home and bought you a glass eye!’—New York Times. d every ‘Thursday, si Possessions. | $5.0 a year in advance. a Stents. Sin of ation, 25 cents, returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed e1 for nom return of unsolicited ¢ The Internat: docs noth nd itself responsi for the is for save by at Newsdealers in Great Britain. (Founded 1715) Kk AND FINE OLD LIQUEUR BRANDIES GENUINE OLD BRANDIES MADE FROM WINE Sole Agents G.S. NICHOLAS&CO. New York taneously in the United States, Great Britain, Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal ews. Frent copies, 10 Cents, rads and Building, Chancery Lane, Lond Se Georges, Pans The text and illustrations in Lai permission obtained in advance Back numbers, Exchanges, 1 . Via Firenze, Milan ir, ad, AGKNTS. ‘ew Coveniry Stre ‘Mayence, Germa veare copyrichted, and are not to be reproduced without special Brentano's, 37 Ave, de Opera, Paris} ester Square, W, London ; 9, Rue Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of addres, f The Theatre for The Theatre Magazine Bound | Complete Year 1908 A handsome volume of over 400 pages containing the 12 numbers ed during 1908 and beautifully bound in attractive green cloth, A Book for Your Parlor Table 12 colored plates, 1,500 engrave ings. Notable articles; portraits of actors and actresses, and scenes from all the plays produced dur- Sent prepaid toany address The Handsomest Mag- azine Published The most sumptuously illustrated, the most splendidly printed, full of anecdotes, reminiscences, and stori ge life, In Uniform binding with the above volume is the complete 1908 - 1902 - - 1903 - 1904 1905 1906 1907 : ‘The magnificent colored covers which appear on each issue ate all bound in the Yearly Volume The Theatre Magazine Co., 22 West Thirty-third St., New York Teques comicbooks.com