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Life, 1909-01-07 · page 51 of 60

Life — January 7, 1909 — page 51: what you’re looking at

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Life — January 7, 1909 — page 51: Life, 1909-01-07

What you’re looking at

This page contains primarily **advertisements and light humor pieces** rather than political satire. **The humor sections** include: - "The Poet": A brief, philosophical joke about how knowledge paradoxically silences creative expression - "The Modest English": Satire of English prudishness—mocking a Yorkshire council's absurdly bureaucratic regulations for permitting married couples to bathe together (requiring registration, fees, admission cards, and "regulation costumes") - "He Takes After Mother": A schoolyard joke about a boy's theatrical delivery reminding someone of his mother's tendency to borrow things **The advertisements** dominate the page, promoting: - Globe-Wernicke "Elastic" bookcases for protecting holiday gift books - Old Hampshire Bond typewriter paper - Hampshire Paper Company products - Cortez cigars The "Modest English" piece is the most satirical content, gently ridiculing Victorian-era social conservatism and bureaucratic overreach in Britain.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

paner ted by the last. The t dip been nb be sleep, ch of ways The Poet Throwing his pen aside; “If I knew life,” he cried, “Then could I write.”” But when with knowledge wide, Stained by life’s purple fruit, Taking his pen one night— Lo, he was mute! Armin Trevor, in Appleton’s Magazine. The Modest English That ‘men and women are permitted to bathe in the same part of the ocean has long been a reproach hurled against the authorities of cer- tain English towns on the seashore. In yielding to the popular clamor for such a privilege, the District Council of Shipley, York- shire, has immortalized itself in the following manner: “In granting facilities for mixed bathing to twenty-nine married couples recently between 8 and 19 o'clock on Saturday evenings, the Coun- cil stipulated that couples must first submit their names to the District Council and receive no- tice from the clerk of acceptance. “In addition to the ordinary charge of 6d. a couple, a registration fee of a shilling must be paid, in return for which an admission card is given. This must be shown on all occasions at the baths. . All couples who go to the baths must go into the water. No spectators are allowed. Reg- ulation costumes must be worn. “The District Council reserves the right to tefuse any applicant or to limit the number of persons to be admitted.’’"—Harper's Weekly. He Takes After Mother The star pupil arose at the school entertain- ment to declaim his piece. “Lend me your ears!’ he bawled. ‘Ha,’ sneered the mother of the opposition but defeated pupil, “ that's Sarah Jane Doran’s boy. He wouldn't be his mother’s son if he didn’t want to borrow some- thing." —Tit-Bits. Holiday Books are distributed in this country every year by the million. Usually these gift books have delicate bindings and are easily soiled and thumb-marked if left ex- posed on the table even for a few days. Slobe“Wernicke'*Elastic’’ Book-cases,with their dust-proof doors afford adequate protection to the finest bindings, and yet the cost of a single section is only a trifle more than the average cost of one book, such as is usually presented at this season. Then why not start the year with a Globe SWernicke’*Elastic” Library? Our new catalogue illustrates 25 original library plans as wellas the different styles and finishes in which these cases can be obtained, The original drawings of these plans cost over $500.00. SlobeSWernicke ‘Elastic’ Book- cases are carried in stock by nearly 1500 authorized agents. Where not repre- sented we ship on ap- Proval, freight paid. Unitorm prices everywhere, Write Department G for Catalogue of Plans The Globe=“Wernicke Co., cincinNATI BRANCH STORES: New York, 380-382 Broadway. Chicago, 224-228 Wabash Ave. Boston, 91-93 Federal Street. G@Do You Know Whether You Are Getting Good Type- writer Paper? @ How do yoo bey it? : ‘amp @ Do you simply ask for so-much ry typewriter paper? 3 Hond @ Even though you call for the same umber, you probably get one grade, one time, and another grade the next time. No uniformity. You might as well send your office boy to buy clothes of size so and 60, Q There is as much difference be tween typewriter papers as there is between clothes. You want some- thing that represents your taste and your character. Old Hampshire Bond Typewriter Paper is now sold in boxes, at most Stationers, LOOK FOR THIS WATERMARK Qit's a paper which will worthily present aod preserve your written word—whether @ lett business document, ever you may set down, say or what- @ Strong enough to stand much hand- ling. And its color-tones are made a little better than seems necessary.” A paper of highest quality, for those who have bigh standards, and who wish to evidence them in their stationery. In case you have difficulty in se- curing Old Hampshire Bood from your stationer, send us $2.00 and we will forward you, prepaid, a box of medium weight. A specimen book will be mailed upon request Hampshire Paper Co. South Hadley Falls, Mass. ra lege! or 4 Boston Transcript, I'LL GET A SIXTH OP A DOZEN Like a Call Youxety: Did you ever notice that the mat- rimonial process is like that of ma You go to adore, you ring a belle, and you give your name to a maid. ing a call? Yes, and then you're taken in.— You can identify it by the seal on Ri) . FOR g MEN OF BRAINS secieeee OUD ANPSRIRE BOND coat | Gortez CGARS a a “MADE AT KEY WEST. comicbooks.com