Life, 1909-01-07 · page 50 of 60
Life — January 7, 1909 — page 50: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page primarily contains **advertisements and humorous advice**, not political satire. The main content is "How to Protect the Baby"—a satirical poem mocking the era's obsession with germ theory and antiseptic safety. Written in the early 1900s (likely post-1900s when bacteriology became popular), it exaggerates the paranoid hygiene regulations doctors were beginning to impose on new parents. The joke: following all these rules would make normal human interaction with babies impossible. Lines like "you mustn't kiss the baby" and requiring a "hot-air disinfector" are absurd hyperboles of genuine (if overzealous) medical advice about preventing infant illness. The surrounding advertisements—cigarettes, vacuum cleaners, water systems, and shade rollers—are period products for affluent households. **The satire's point**: Life magazine was ridiculing both medical extremism and the anxiety it created among the middle and upper classes about child-rearing in an increasingly "scientific" age.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ob OU co IMPERIALES CIGARETTES are popular with thousands of dis- criminating smokers who want and enjoy something distinctive in taste and flavor. Imperiales are not too mild or too strong —neither insipid nor harsh, they are rich, satisfying and exquis- ite in aroma through the rare blend of expertly selected to- bacco from which they are made. Imperiales Cigar- ettes are rolled in thin mais paper, crimped, not pasted and with individual mouth-pieces to cool the smoke. 10c. for 10 Just try a package of Imperiales and judge for yourself. If your dealer hasn't them THE write to us direct. THE JOHN BOLLMAN CO,, Mfr. San Francisco, Cal. How to Protect the Baby LATEST SANITARY THe REGULATIONS. OU musin’t kiss the baby or you'll poison it with, germs For they lurk where every tiny dimple dips; Yes, in every hole and corner, and—your auntie —you must warn her— There are microbes by the million on her lips You mustn't pat the baby, you must tell your Uncle § That we can't allow the microbes near the cot; He must boil his hands in soda, and an aro: matic odor Must exha je from every finger-tip he's got You mustn't touch the baby with your whiskers air, microbes or your For the flower; If you really wo disinfector And keep your head inside it for an hour. drop like pollen from a protect her—get_a hot-air You mustn't talk to bany, for the microbe bogies swarm In all the little syllables that float; So, before you talk and frolic, get a gallon of carbohic, And pour it strong and scalding down your throat You mustn't sing to baby, nor whistle it a tune, Unless you heed the scientific rule— UTOGRAPH LETTERS KENILWORTH INN BILTMORE, N. C. 20 hours from New Adjoins Geo, Vanderbilt's famous est Ha “NO USE TALKING, WE CEKTAINLY GET ENOUGH THUS TMANSCONTINENTAL AIKSILIP LINE STARTED KUNNING O2ONE SINCE To fix a mask securely and to breathe your mu- sic purely Through a pad of patent Sal Alembroth wool. You mustn't use a handkerchief to wipe the aby’s nose, Or a hundred million For bactericidal laws say that antise; Is the only proper article to use. microbes will diffuse; ic gauze You mustn't come near baby in tailor- made attire, For in every thread the microbes slyly gro} But your body you must cover with an overall of rubber, And keep it washed with antiseptic soap your You mustn't feed the baby till you've Pasteur- ised the milk, And the cow must be of very special breed ; And a qualified inspector must daily disinfect her In accordance with the last official creed. You mustn't wash the baby till the water's been distilled — Water for Your Country Home ‘You may havo every convenience of a city wator supply in your country home and farm balldines Write for 6t:page flustrated Catalog No. 13. 1tis free. THURMAN’S Portable Electric Vacuum Cleaner the most perfect electric portable cleaner and baving the most imp’ features known to electric portable cleaning. It is Light, operated by housemaid, mechanically perfect. easily portable and bai The Vacusm Pump creates absolute constant suction throug! ‘appan. tus to dust tank, effectively removing dust, dirt, moth eggs. vermin, et from floors, rugs. carpets, draperies, et injuring. It is the latest i ng wited for elecinc lighting. Price for Thurman Po Vacuum Cleaner, direct current $190.00. alternating ¢ £163.00. Senton one week ey refunded if not as repeese tet $3000.00 Can Be Made anauatly by men owning Therm 1 Cleaning Wagon. Air & Vacuum Machinery Co. 4439 Olive St., Dept. H., St, Louis, Mo. Mixed with Condy of the proper kind and weight; And before the sponge goes in it, you must dip it for a minute In solution of corrosive sublimate. You mustn’ boiled In the strongest sterilizer that is known; The brush must then be heated and the comb be always treated With a baking in an oven of its own dress the baby till its linen has been You mustn't put the baby in its tiny cot to slee Till with gauze you've covered every inch skin; For the flies, without your knowing are always microbe-sowing, And at every little crevice they'll creep in. You mustn't leave the baby for the fraction of an hour, Till it’s covered with a patent glazed wig- wum ; I's the only sealed, Where the “ gobelins "’ can never, never come. —W. R. H.. in John Bull certain shield—if hermetically HARTSHORN SHADE ROLLERS Bear the script name of Stewart Hartshorn on label. 110 Diasend aan dg Prurg, Get “Improved.” no tacks required, Wood Rollers Tin Rollers Tha in the repro3 tain E In: privile shire, manne “In twent} and 1 cil sti names tice f “Tr couple paid, fiven the ba ulation “Ti refuse persor The ment ears! of th Sarah mothe thing comicbooks.com