Life — January 7, 1909 — page 42: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

L PPE =3AUT SCISSORS Airships An Ultimatum I hold it true, with him who sings, to one You have treated me badly, though madly clear harp in divers tones, that men who'd fly, I've loved you for nearly a year; = AUT ULLUS. cre they have wings, are apt to break their You've been turning me down with your ugliest blooming bones. The birds may think it full frown, worth their while to soar from tree to tree; but And I'm growing discouraged, I fear. while I live this good old earth is plenty smooth You may think it amusing, refusing enough for me—Emporia Gazette. The offers I've made of my hand. Would Have Done the Same I've been patient and meek, but at last I must speak— It is more than a fellow can stand. d Kipling undoubtedly got his wit fr ternal grandfather, the Rev. George B. Macdonald, a Wesleyan clergy It is related of this gentleman that in the days when he was courting the lady whom he after- wards married, the father-in-law-to-be—an axed Methodist with extremely strict notions in regard to the propricties—was injudicious enough on one occasion to ¢ r the parlor without giving any warning of his approach. The consequence was that he found the sweethearts occupying a single chair Deeply shocked by the spectacle, the old man solemnly said : “Mr. Macdonald, when I was courting Mrs. Brown, she sat on one side of the room and I on the other.” Macdonald's reply was hat’s what I should have done if 1 had Ueen courting Mrs. Brown.”"—Philippine Gossip. It is hard to be doing this wooing So long when you never respond When the chance is so small you'll be in when I call——- It is hard to be faithful and fond; When you yawn through my visit, now is it A thing that a fellow would like? You must make up your mind pretty soon to be kind Or, I give you fair warning, I'll strike. It’s a strain on affe : rejection And snubbing’s not casy to bear, “WHY, TOMMY! WHERE IN THE WORLD DID When with others you flirt my best feelings are YOU CET THAT RED LANTERN?" hurt, “SOME MAN LEFT IT IN THE STREET.” It seems almost a hopeless affair. It has spoiled my good humor, this rumor, n't say that I like it a bit Local Option wh infer Chere’ hoi 1 Hats true you're d I shall be so enraged . “What was that sentence the choir repeated That really I believe I shall qu 1 say ocal option has been of grea i 7 Y i Benen ay tt loa a pion as Eee great so often during the litany . Chicago News. benef s i » “ As near as I could make out it was ‘We are a “Yes, sir,"’ answered Col well. “AS alt miserable singers.’ '—Boston Courier, “A true Bohemian is a man who borrows a soon as a lot of us citizens realized how far dollar and then invites you to lunch with it.” anybody would have to go for a drink we or- “Have you read any of the recent fiction? "’ “Wrong again. A true Bohemian is a man who ganized a good roads movement.”’—Washington “Thave read it all’? “Where? "" “In Dumas, invites himself to lunch with y nd then bor- Star. forty years ago.""—Boston Traveler. rows a dollar.""—Philadelphia Bulletin. rx is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and c London, E. C., Ei Acexts. Brentano's, British Possessions. - $8 - : Additional postage to forcign countries in the Pasial alsa at Starbach’s News Exchanges, j Wee Urvent Sects L eeu Cour Union, #143 year; to Canada. 5 vents, Thick numbers,atter three St. Georges, Pars: 1, Via Firenze, Milan; Mayence, Germany. months from date of publicatio: : or gies No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addrewed envelope. Life The text and Mnstentions in Lavtare copyrighted, and art net ta be-refesduted withent: spacial does not hold itself rex ible for the loss or non return of unsolicited contributions. fermission obtained in advance, ‘Live is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Bri al News Company, Breams Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address, Victory at Savannah CHAIN TIRE GRIPS Truffault-Hartford Shock Absorbers 7 POSITIVELY PREVENT Wagner wins Grand - Shock J = Fiat carsrutaulc Hartiord equipped: finished ist covering the ees HIS ; SKIDDING 402 Miles at the rate of 65.5 miles an hour. R They. grip and hold the road wheels in mud and Anew American record for road racing. | sand without injury to the road. All possi- Wagner, among the most successful professional drivers of the world, never | | bility of slipping or skidding on wet or greasy pave- drives without Truffault-Hartfords on his c: | j —s ments is eliminated, They preserve tires and en- THE LANCIA CAR driven by Hilliard and equipped with Truffault-Hartford | } able the heaviest automobile to climb hills Shock Absorbers won the International Light Car Race at Savannah—196 miles in B hours, 43 minutes and 33 seconds, at the Fate of 52.6 miles per hour. casily. ‘i et. raloce gelese Consumption. by ‘The extraordinary speed maintained in both races was made possible by preveating lest trac toss usé of the Truffault-Hart ford Shock Absorbers which absorbed all vibration, jolt 3 i Ad Jac and mlsinised the wear ani'tcaron the dress" any antomnoblie auctberts Fit any standard tire; are easily attached bea racer, touring car A roadate nF A runabout. ena be made smoother running, more comfortabi use of the Truffault-Haitford Su be . aul; Hartiord Shock Absorbers, We exhibit at Grand Central Palace, January ast, and Madison Square Garden, January 16th. Made in three sizes. Standard for cars over 1800 Ibs. ........ (per set of four) ery Intermediate fee cars fro 1200-1800 Ibs, WEED CHAIN TIRE GRIP COMPANY Junior for smaller carsand runabouts weigh- ies aa care 1 oul cia : 25.00 / 28 Moore Street New York Complete fittings furnished without extra cost. Mention make, model and year of car when ordering. HARTFORD SUSPENSION CO. 165 Bay Street Jersey City, N.J. BRANCHES: New York, 212-214 W. 88th Street Boston, 319 Columbus Avenue comicbooks.com