Life — January 7, 1909 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

8 The Centaur: p——N THOSE AUTAURS! a big horn put on, on purpose. Of course Touter didn’t even look around. But he began to speed up. I kept honk- ing and honking, as a sort of introduc- tion to the continued story I was going to spring on Touter. The more I touted the faster Touter went. But I was get- ting all of his dust that I ever intended to Ket, so at the next straight stretch in the road I whooped her up, and before Touter knew it I was ahead. Of course, he couldn't believe his senses. The thing was done so quick, it was over s9 soon, that he had scarcely time to wink Of course he didn’t turn out, but I slid by, all the same. Then I settled down right in front of Touter. I had a muffler fixed with three outlets to it that just blew up al! the dust in the road. Why, boys, I give you my word—you can see it from the window now—that when I pass over a road it is as clean as marble. Was Touter mad? I guess he was. He tooted to me and I tooted back. If he attempted to pass me I would block him, and when I couldn't block him, I would touch the old thing up, so he couldn't catch me. I my mind that I would keep it up until he beckoned to me, and yesterday after- noon he did it.” “ What did he say breathlessly. “He followed me home, and when I got out, he waved “*Wait a moment,’ he called. ‘1 want to see you. What do you mean, sir, by this outrageous conduct?’ “*You know what I mean,’ I called back. ‘Your name is Touter. You've been a nuisance long enough. I've kept you busy for a week, showing you how you have been treating other people. asked the Major, 25 Now, if I ever hear of you doing this sort of thing again, I'll hire to run this Good-by, a man by the year car in front of Touter.’ “What did Billy Smith. “Nothing. He just went away. But they tell me he is cured. Everyone I saw this morning says that there's no dan- ger of his ever doing it again.”” The Major leaned forward. you asked say?" “Gentlemen,” he exclaimed, “1 move that a subscription ediately started to 4 monument to our noble friend here, who is a pioneer in one of the best causes I know.”’ “Second the Smith, motion,”’ said as everybody cheered. Chesterton Todd. Billy Luxury BREASTS are denied the light of rea son, and for that their comfort waits simply on the indulgence of de- sire. With the other hand, since reason especial gift, com- fort waits on the reasonable indulgence of desire. But reason is such a bore that we en- joy almost nothing better than throwing it to the winds,—there’s no denying the delight of going on and indulging our desires without let or hindrance. Of course, it isn’t comfort which we thus obtain,—only luxury, which is of com- fort the caricature. Luxury, then, is another fruit of re sponsibility, that gift in virtue of which the humankind may the good prefer yet ah! the worst pursue—n auntingly account inferior beings not dowered with it, and end by so using it as to raise a doubt whether its bestowal on them- selves was not a huge, grim joke. Ramsey Benson, man, on is hi left him that day just before he got to his office, but I was waiting for him when he came out. I've been in front of Touter for a week, doing nothing else but give him dust. I made up THE RELAY RACE re comicbooks.com