Life, 1908-12-31 · page 16 of 21
Life — December 31, 1908 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Life magazine page (early 20th century) contains three humorous anecdotes and one satirical poem: **"Nobody Likely to Remember"**: A Boston woman visiting Edinburgh asks a Scottish policeman about Thomas Carlyle's house. The policeman, unfamiliar with the famous 19th-century writer, dismisses him—satirizing Scottish provincialism despite Scotland's reputation for learning and literary culture. **"Called Home"**: A young boy excitedly reports his grandfather's cow died, using the pious phrase "God called her home"—humor derived from the child innocently applying religious language to animal death. **"No Great Rush"**: A newly-appointed postmaster neglects delivering mail for weeks, waiting until he accumulates a full bag—poking fun at bureaucratic inefficiency and literal-minded thinking. **"Alliterative Absurdities"**: A tongue-twisting poem playing with alliteration (repeated consonant sounds) in increasingly absurd scenarios—pure wordplay humor with no political content. The page is primarily light satirical humor targeting Scottish ignorance, bureaucratic incompetence, and linguistic absurdity—typical Life magazine fare from this era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ji gk SANT 5, AML, AVL Nyllw Nobody Likely to Remember Scotland has a great reputation for learning in the United States, and a lady who came over from Boston expected to find the proverbial shepherd quoting Virgil and the laborer who had Burns by heart. She was disillusioned in Edin- burgh. Accosting a policeman, she inquired as to the whereabouts of Carlyle’s house. > “Which Carlyle?” he asked. “Thomas Carlyle,” WT SSSR) SJR mails. An inspector Panion. said the lady. What does he do?’’ queried the guardian of the peace. “He was a writer—but he’s dead,’’ she fal- tered. “Well, madam,’’ the big Scot informed her, “if the man is dead over five years there's little chance of finding out anything about him in a big city like this.""—Glasgow News. Called Home George, the four-year-old grandson of an ex- tremely pious and devout grandfather, came rushing into the house a few days ago in a state of wild excitement. “Grandpa! Grandpa!" he called.“ Mr, Barton's cow is dead! God called her home! —Harper’s Mogaz No Great Rush A number of weeks after an old man was ap- pointed postr ge, Says a The Humming Bird: 1 writer in the he villagers © WHEN DOES THIS PLACE and their friends bega about the GE ine. Lv’ investigating found out that the postmaster had sent out no mail since his entrance into office, and pointing to the hundred or more dusty letters that the postmaster had kept by him, said, sternly “Why on earth didn’t you let these go “1 was waiting till I got\the bag full the old man, with a gentle smile—Youth’s SAY, MR. Alfiterative Absurdities If you caught a captious curate killing kippen for the cook In the cloisters with a,club yclept a cleek, Would you say he was as wily As a cunning crocodily Catching cockles with a corkscrew in a creek? the matter If zen beheld a battleboat bombarding Biscay White the big guns bellowed bold from brazen throat, Would you say it was as funny As a bouncing blue-back bunny Blowing bubbles with a bobby in a boat? said Com- If you saw a driveling dreamer drowning duck lings in a ditch, And deducting data dry as dust to see, Would you say that this death dealer Was of ducks and drakes a stealer, Or of Darwin's dead ideas a devotee? Vanity Fair. Where There's a Will A week before the Christmas holiday Princeton undergraduate who lived in Chicago wished to start home, thus gaining a week's va- cation on the other students. He had, how used up all the absences from recitations which are allowed, and any more without good excuse would have meant suspension. In a quandary be hit upon this solution: he telegraphed his father the following message : “ Shall I come home by the B. & O., or straight home?” The answer he received, read : home.”” An exhibition of the telegram to the faculty was sufficient—Success. “ Come straight rare-Toan, 1 WANT TO multancously in the United States, Additional postage to for ‘Single currect copies. 10 cents, id and addressed envelope, Life peng ced contributions eee ie deid ttyel/ responsible for the less ov non return ef unto Lire is for mile rate a, rs in Great Bi . Georges, Pars: 1, The text and illustrations in Live are copyrichted, and are mot to be reproduced cwithout special Aermission obtained in advance. Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any chance of address. Lane, London, E ew ges, 1, New. fa Firense, Milan fexrs. Brentano's, 37 A rect, Leicester Square, We sie Sermany, 9, Ree T'Mapease. (Founded 1715) FINE OLD LIQUEUR BRANDIES GENUINE OLD BRANDIES MADE FROM WINE Sole Agents G.S. NICHOLAS6CO, New York A New Funny Book ALITTLE BIRD TOLD ME! R. KUHN is the artist who draws those funny pictures of all kinds of birds in all sorts of surroundings and talking all sorts of wise and funny human talk. 75 Cents LIFE PUBLISHING COMPANY, 17 West 31st Street, New York comicbooks.com