Life — December 3, 1908 — page 59: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| M. JOHNSON-BROWN & CO. OBJECTS OF ART No. 17 West 31st Street, New York THE LAMENT OF THE MANY wish that I had rosy cheeks d great big, baby eyes, wore my hair marcelled and puffed just the latest size, had a “Merry Widow” hat, d figure so petite, . coming home upon the L, thaps I’d get a seat! —Lippincott’s. THE LOVERS’ BLUNDER ke of the Abruzzi has picked up many stories in the course of his various nd he is fond of telling the following, heard in the Far North: A young ved a beautiful maiden, whose father’s near his own, but, as is so often the parents would nat hear of the match. ta great storm ripped up a crevass in nd between the two huts there bridged only by a slender strip of ice. s the chance which the young lover He crossed the frail bridge in the dead nd crept to the home of his sweetheart er from her cruel father. The Eskimos .ags of sealskin; and, with bated breath and loudly beating heart, he hoisted on his back the one in which his lady-love slumbered. With his precious burden he recrossed the strip of ice, and, saic on the other side, broke it down with a blow of his ax so that no one could pursue him save by the aid of a boat. Regaining his hut, ke opened the bag to gaze upon the fair one, interest travels, which Eskimo hot w ease, be Ove ni the ice an abys Here sought of nigh to steal sleep in ] when, with a cry of horror, he staggered back ] dumfounded. For, in his haste to get the affair over, he had stolen her father by mistake!— Wesp. THEY ALMOST FOUGHT The angular chap who had been jotting down notes on the margin of a newspaper approached the stern-fa¢ed man in the waterproof collar. “Bex pardon, sir; but could I ask you a ques- “If it isn’t nonsensical.” ny memory isn’t good of late. inv the sewing-machine? "’ “Hint He must be a little deaf. vented the sewing-machine? "” Who Who in- trumpet. Hey, Scott! I'd better get a The old geezer is as deaf as he can be. there, who invented the sewing-machine? " owe!" angular chap leaned over and curved his Then he whooped: = the last time, who invented the sewing- o-w-e—Howe. Mr. Howe. And now if < me again blamed if I don’t thrash you an inch of your life. Now get!” the angular chap “ got.""—Wosp. MORE ACCURATE, ker: Roosevelt refers to the great moral upli E : Wouldn't holdup be better?—Sun, ,|keNILwoRTA INN BILTMORE, N. C. has 20 hours from New York. ijl: Geo, Vanderbilt's famous estate. Always Open. New mabagcment, Ideal climate, Riding, Driving, Golf, NO CONSUMPTIVES. When You Buy a Kranich & Bach Piano You buy a piano that for almost half a century has been the standard piano investment of America and Europe. You buy a piano having no obsolete or fictitious name acquired by commercial corporations or marketed under bargain store methods. You buy a piano which bears the names of the men under whose personal supervision and direction every part has been entirely con- structed and finished in their own factory. You buy the best piano that mind and hands can design and construct. As an example of advancement in modern piano construction our new scale Upright with inclined pin block, and Grand with Isotonic Pedal (both exclusive features), are cited as the most marvelous achievements in the world of music. Write for catalogue and name of dealer nearest you. If none is near your home we will ship direct from factory. Very convenient instalment terms. With each catalogue we will send free an interesting Composite Portrait and sketches of the World’s Greatest Pianists. CHRISTMAS GIFTS A SUGGESTION A yearly subscription to LIFE makes an appropriate Christmas gift, lasting a whole year as a weekly reminder of the giver, and bringing each week a new pleasure to the receiver. We will furnish, on request, an attractive Christmas Card with each subscription to LIFE given as agift. It contains space for the names of recipient and giver, and will certify that he or she is entitled to a year’s subscription to LIFE. If a person of culture, refinement, or intelligence, or all three, your friend cannot afford not to know LIFE, If he has a sense of humor, he should see it every week. Remit Five Doilars to LIFE PUBLISHING COMPANY with the name and address to which LIFE is to be sent. To each yearly subscriber this season LIFE will send, post free, a copy of Mr. Charles Dana Gibson’s charming and decorative drawing, ‘* ABSENT FRIENDS!"’ If the subscription is a Foreign one, remit $6.04, or for Canada, $5. comicbooks.com