Life — November 5, 1908 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Post-Campaign Thoughts A’ last the campaign is over and we have a . new Milord Chief Executive and—and—beyond that noth- ing much seemsto have happened. Down deep in our quiet, prayerful hearts, that is about all we expected, if we expected anything. mpaigns are largely emotion: Now let us settle down and talk sense or keep quiet. Let ih us proceed with alacrity to forget what few promises were made, for political promises were not made to be kept, and it only adds to our present distress of mind and ultimate disappointment to keep them an mind. There are always two great surprises in every campaign: first, those whose party wins are surprised that the elected officials do not come up to their expectations, and, second, those whose party loses are surprised that the elected officials do not come down to their expectations. This year, in addi- tion, there are those who thought that the industrial depre sion was caused largely by theseampaign per se now surprised that our country which retired at a late hour election night with that full feeling did not awake on Novem- ber Fourth with full dinner-pails, full factories, full stomachs, full pocketbooks and other evidences of plentitude. It would be difficult to put one’s finger on just what ques- tion has been solved by the late unpleasantness beyond the Questions, like the The more burning the ques- tion, the more elusive the answer. The next thing of thundering importance is Christmas Clear the decks Ellis O. Jones. These are mere question of personal preferment. poor, we have always with us. OB: Introduce me to the old guy. Tur Hoste Why, you must know him, president of your college. “No, I don't. He isn't interested in athletics’” He's the “COMING EVENTS CAST THEIR SHADOWS BEFORE." NOTHING DOING THIS YEAR, OLD CHAP. I'VE BEEN BURBANKED (BULLS = BEARS) 10.00 a. M.—There is a fog in London which adversely af- fected the stock market at the opening. 10.30—During the last few minutes, the stock market has recovered somewhat on advices that the Panama Canal will positively be finished in 1962. 11.00—Rumors of war between the Boula Boula and the Sikkkow tribes in the North of Siberia are considered an ill omen and stocks are down a point or two. 12.00—The report that the President has taken up ping- pong was well received in Wall Street, as it is expected that this will leave him less time to write messages. Stocks are up a little. 15—The advance gained on the report that the President had taken up ping-pong was wiped out with additional losses on the publication of an official denial by Secretary Loeb. t.0o—Just before sailing for London on the Doughmania, J. Pierpont Morgan gave out an interview that art in America was on the decline. As a consequence, the market is a little off. 2.00—The reported failure of the wheat crop in Squeegee County, Nebraska, has caused a serious setback to the market 2.30—When it was learned that the incorporation papers for the “ Smile, D—n You, Smile’? Club had been issued at Albany, the market recovered all along the line. 3.00—The closing was weak, in sympathy with the cable dispatch that the fleet, although yet in the Orient, would prob- ably touch at Skibo before its return, This is taken to mean a renewal of the book war in London. Why Not? HERE may be a hint for Uncle Sam in Mark Twain's notice to burglars. At the door of the National Re- sources Bungalow he could put: lists, Senators and grafters: You will find the special he key to the High Tariff, and the Bag of Cé Jeboard. Please don't make a noise, as I hate to be d turbed, TATISTICS.—Of the 1,001 young women who fainted last year, 987 fell into the arms of men, two fell on the floor, and one into a water-butt. comicbooks.com