Life — September 10, 1908 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

274 Smoking a Pipe HE art of pipe smoking appears to be yet in its infancy. A few years ago pipes had advanced only so far as to have a hole through them and a bowl at one end to hold tobacco. This might be called the nicotine or prehistoric period. Now pipes arranged with sub- terranean canals running through them, in a sort of crystalline maze, so that the nicotine will get discouraged on the way and fall, so to speak, by the wayside. Pipes are also arranged with blot- are ting paper capsules that will absorb the nicotine, which, as every one knows, is a deadly poison, and if dropped on a fly will kill him instantly, This suggests an inquiry as to why nicotine is not more generally used to kill flies. It would ought to serve some purpose Then again there are pipes made out of gourds that do not require the services of a plumber at all hours of the day and night, but, be- yond a monthly house cleaning, are al- ways ready. What we really need is a pipe on wheels, with an engineer in charge to regulate the pressure, and a fireman to keep it going. For that is the hopeless thing about If the tobacco is as dry as punk, likely to taste like it, and hted it lasts about two and one-half puffs. If it is slightly damp, as it ought to be, you begin by piling on matches and setting them like a bonfire on top. It’s a fine thing to see that pipe light up. But the moment you take your mind off it is out again Pipe smoking is splendid. burning your tongue, parching throat, always going out and filling you up with the raw essence of nicotine, it is one of the greatest comforts in the world. ‘As a companion, it can’t be beaten. It never bores you. It is always doing something unexpected. as if it useful seem pipes. it is pretty after it is lig Aside from your Mrs. S.: Mr. S WHAT FOR? “VES, BUT IT’S SO LONESOME WITIL THE WORKMEN GoNE!’” SMITHWOLD LOOKS PRETTY GooD, Now It’s FINISHED, HEY? CAN'T WE BUILD ON ANOTHER WING OR SOMETHIN’? DON’T YOU LIKE IT Now?’? Alcchol LCOHOL is used in Turkish baths, museums and palm rooms. - It also furnishes a scientific base for tem- perance and curtain lectures. It enters, in some form or other, into most of our industries and through it we manufac- ture breadstuffs, dyes and snakes. Al- though it is not responsible for perpetual motion, it is the only fluid agent known to make the earth go round. It has also made-two moons appear in the heavens, where only one moon was seen before. Alcohol is manufactured in every state in the union, including the states of matrimony and unrest. It is respon- sible for the crooked course of the grapevine. It sails the unbridled ocean, and sits on every street corner. It is the most consummate actor known, and in the extent of its marvelous make-ups has never been equalled by any old sleuth. It takes on every form and line, and as an interior decorator is un- equalled. It is fastidious, however, about colors, eradicating the blues and replacing them with reds and purples. Alcohol is successful in every one of its undertakings. But in spite of all the bad things that have been said about it, it has one great quality. It never for- sakes an old friend. Preachers PREACHER is a person that pre- sumes to be a paragon of pulchritudinous to promote purity. perfection, professing Occasionally preacher is publicly pious while priva prurient. Practically put, he patronizes and prates, pretending to be the personification of the Prince of Peace, but too often petting the purse- proud, pecunious plutocrat, when prop- erly he should prop the penniless prole- tariat. Pontifical principles are too often pendent on power and privilege, while protection of popular preroga- tives are purely putative. Personally, preachers are perhaps passable if not too prudish. Politically, they are par- ticularly passive, although _ patriotic. Among the prominent preachers of the past are Peter and Paul Ellis O. Jones.