Life — July 2, 1908 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

> Re The first Derby made in America was a KNAPP-FELT De Luxe hats are Six Dollars —Knapp-Felts are Four Dollars, everywhere. Write for “The Hatman” Tur Crorut & KNapp Co. BROADWAY, AT THIRTEENTH ST., NEW YORK Cakes and Pastries willadd variety a) Summer Menus Arrangements bave been made whereby quick deliveries of fresh cake willbe made EXPRESSAGE PREPAID to Country Homes, at any express point within 300 miles of New York City. Selected assortments, packed to keep Sresh for days, can be had at $2.00, $3.00, $5.00, $8.00 and $12.00. A Booklet—Dean’s Summer Suggestions —explaining the idea in detail, will be sent on request. 572 FIFTH AVENUE sands NEW YORK Established 1839 The Silence Cure How swiftly runs the hypochondriac’s tongue On all the various symptoms that afflict him! ‘The ills that chiefly rise from nerves unstrung, Are all described to his unhappy victim, Who, at the close, is called on to endure A disquisition on the latest “cure.” Proud is that sufferer with the pride of kings: He asks no more congenial employment As to the restive buttonhole he clings And rambles on with obvious enjoyment, Just as the Ancient Mariner impressed His grewsome tale upon the Wedding Guest. ‘Therefore the world will hail with grateful tears ‘The latest cure which bids the creature, thirsting To pour his tale into unwilling ears, To practice silence to the point of bursting, Since he will quickly lose, beyond a doubt, ‘The symptoms which he cannot talk about Sweet is the silence of the wild, but oh! ‘The silence of the wretch who made us so! For thus we find a double cure relieving Not oaly him who now must saye his breath But us, who have been nearly bored to death! —Londen Daily Mait A Complication WO Irishmen were telling conundrums one day, and when their supply ran out Pat suggested that they make some up. “All right,” said Mike. “Phwhat is it thot goes around a barnyard in feathers and on two legs and barking like a dog?” “My, thot’s hard. I give it up,” after some moments of thinking. answer?" “A chicken!" “My, thot’s foine; but how'd the barking of a | dog get in there?” inquired Pat. “Oh, I just put that in to make it harder.” Philadelphia Ledger. She Would Keep It Dark SCOTTISH parson, still on the under side of forty, was driving home from an outlying ham- let when he overtook a young woman. He recog- nized her as the maid of all work at a farm which he would pass, so he pulled up and offered her a lift. Mary gladly accepted his offer and they chatted pleasantly all the way to the farm gate. “Thank you, sir,” she said, as she got' down, “Don’t mention it, Mary. Don’t mention it,” he told her, politely. “No, I won't,” Mary obligingly assured him.— Everybody's. swered Pat, Phwhat’s the Somewhat Rejuvenated ANE ADDAMS, the talented head of the Hull J House, said bitterly, apropos of woman suffrage, at a recent dinner in Chicago: “There are women who will laugh at us Tot-our interest in the ballot and who will then give ab- sorbed hours, in the privacy of their rooms, to great electrical massage machines, face-steaming engines, curious masks and huge flesh-reducing mechanisms. “An elderly woman of this type, after an after- noon’s struggle with all sorts of beautifying devices, dyed her hair a bright gold. ““Do you think it makes me look younger?” she asked me. ““Yes,’ said I. ‘About three weeks.’"—IWash- ington Star. The Candidates NICKER: What is the outlook? Bocker: A contest between a lecture bureau and a phonograph.—Sun. of Life Insurance tn the New Low Cost Policy of The Prudential At Age 30. Write to-day for Rates at YOUR Age and Specimen Policy. State Occupation. Department 0. 80 Million Dollars New Ordinary Insurance Sold in 40 Weeks. THE PRUDENTIAL Insurance Co. of America Incorporated as a Stock Company by the State of New Jersey. JOHN F. DRYDEN, President. Home Office: NEWARK, N. J. fi STRENGTH OF © GIBRALTAR ees * The MOST TALKED OF FIRM In London. STREET Original and Exclusive Designs in TAILOR-MADE SUITS AFTERNOON FROCKS RECEPTION AND EVENING GOWNS MILLINERY, ETC. Specialité: TRAVELING COATS