Life — July 2, 1908 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Oracle and Mr. McAdoo NCE,” said William McAdoo, former Assist- ant Secretary of the Navy and former Police Commissioner of New York, “when I was younger I went up-State in New York to make a political speech. Mrs. McAdoo was with me. We arrived in Albany on a chill, rainy, miserable October after- noon. It was cheerless at the hotel, cheerless in the city and cheerless everywhere. Mrs. McAdoo had acold. Ihadacold. The outlook for the meeting was not good. “We went out for a walk, despite the rain. We walked through the Park, Mrs. McAdoo the while reading me a lecture on the futility of politics, which Tcould not answer, for what she said wastrue. Just as she reached her peroration, in which she was telling me what an ais I was for semaiuicg in politics or having anything to do with that pursuit, we came on a weighing machine. “Tt was one of those weighing machines that plays music, weighs you, and drops out a card telling your fortune, all for a nickel. As Mrs. McAdoo was getting to her closing and unanswerable sentences, T stepped on the machine, dropped in my nickel, heard the music tinkle, and waited for the machine jo-deliver the card with tay fortune: “The machine clucked. The card came out, just as Mrs. McAdoo finished in a grand burst of dec- lamation. I read the card. It said: ‘Do not be discouraged. Your second marriage will be hap- pier than your first.’ —Saturday Evening Post, A Fable with a Moral HERE was once a Jester who was tired of his job, so he resolved to go to his August Master, who was his Master during the other months of the year also, and beg to be released, so that he could seck Fresh Fields and Pastures New. When the King and his Courtiers saw him approaching they began to titter; but the Jester went straight to the Throne and sank upon one knee. “Sire,” he said, “for many years I have capered and grimaced to amuse you, and now I fain would rest.” ' “He fain would rest!" repeated the Monarch, his sides shaking with mirth. Sire, I have a family in far-away Provence”. “Ho, hol” laughed the King. “Ha, ha!” echoed the Courtiers. “He, he!" giggled the Courticresses. “And I beg of your majesty permission "—— Isn't he the funniest thing!” said the King. “To let me go and see them,” finished the Jester. The King was wiping his eyes, which were full of tears of merriment. “Take him away, somebody,” he said, ‘‘or I shall di¢ of laughing. He grows fun- nier every day.” Attendants surrounded the Jester and forced him kindly but firmly from the Royal Presence. And he is still the King’s Jester. Moral: It is sometimes harder to lose a reputation than to acquire one.—Lippincott's. Red Blood and Blue HREE-YEAR-OLD Allan had a very aris- tocratic: grandma, who prided herself on her own and her husband's blue-blooded ancestry. She told him heroic deeds of them and warned him from ever playing with boys of low degree. One day Allan came screaming upstairs ‘to his mamma and grandma, holding his hand up covered with blood, where he had cut his little finger. ‘They were both greatly alarmed, as he was a child who rarely cried or complained when hurt. Mamma washed the blood off and, examining the cut, said: “Why, dear, it’s not so very bad. Does it burt} you so much?” “I’m not cryin’ ‘cause it hurts,” he said, “but ‘cause it’s only red blood, and grandma said I had blue.” —Philadel phia Ledger. Encourage Listless Convalescence On To Rapid Recovery Have you ever been through a real serious siege of sickness? How well you remember when the danger point was passed and the cheerful possibility of getting better began to be realized. Then commenced a long and tedious task of coaxing and coddling the enfeebled organs of the body back to natural health, vigor and strength. At this vital stage, when exhausted nature is seek- ing to regain her own, you will find Pabst Extract he Best Tonic It combines the nutritive properties of an ideal liquid food and the restorative qualities of a perfect tonic. Blending in correct proportions the nutritive and di- gestive elements of pure, rich barley malt with the quieting and tonic effects of the choicest hops, it offers a nourishment in predigested form. Being easily assimilated, it rapidly builds tissue, muscle and sinew. By strengthening the vitality, it creates a desire for more solid food and furnishes the power for digestion, after which the road to recovery is short. Pabst Extract, The Best’ Tonic, being a predigested liquid food, is wel- med by the weakest stomach. ‘It relieves insomnia, conquers dyspep- Sia, strengthens the weak. builds up the overworked, helps the anaemic, feeds the nerves, assists nursing mothers and invigorates old age. At All Druggists—Insist Upon it Being Pabst Booklet and Picture “Baby's First Adventure" sent free on request. PABST EXTRACT CO. DEPT. 12 MILWAUKEE, WIS. WHY NOT PRESERVE YOUR COPIES OF LIFE In Good Condition? If, when you have finished with the week's issue, it is placed on file in one of our Binders, it is always convenient for reference and the volume becomes an untail iling source of pleasure and amusement. The Binder is an ingenious arrangement, substantially made, bourd in either black or garnet cloth, with cover design in gilt. Sent to any address on reccipt of one dollar by LIFE PUBLISHING COMPANY, 17 West Thirty-firet Street, New York City comicbooks.com