Life — July 2, 1908 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

INTERPRETED Mas. Kyickrx: The baby is crying for the mooa A GRATEFUL SON-IN-LAW 1H. H, Rogers, on his return voyage from Bermuda last month, said one evening in the smoking-room, of his traveling companion Mark Twain: “He is an incorrigible humorist. Even in his most emotional moments he can’t help being funny “When he married in Elmira in 1870 his father-in-law made him a present of a fine, well-furnished house in Buffalo. “The present came asa surprise. Mark Twain knew nothing of it till, amid a party of relatives and friends, he was shown over the luxurious place. Then, when they told him it was his, tears filled his eyes. * But he was still the humorist, and turning to his father-in-law he said, though in a voice that trembled a little “*Mr. Langdoa, whenever you're in Buffalo, if it's as much as twice a year, you are to come right up here and take tea. You can stay all night, too, if you want to, and it shan’t cost you a cent. "—Washington Star. CASE FOR AN EXPERT “Have you made my will just as T told you?" asked the sick man, who was the possessor of many needy relatives and some —Evening Sun. well-to-do but grasping ones “T have," asserted the lawyer “Just as strong and tight as you can make it, eh?" asked the client. The lawyer nodded. “All right,” said the sick man.‘ Now I want to ask you one AN EGOIST Tell me, did you ever win a prize at a lottery? thing—not professionally—who do you think Cuotty: No, Tnever did, but my wile did. —Yonkers States- chance of getting the property when Lam gone Kxicker: Give it to him, my dear; it is the will of the people. WHO DID? One of our subscribers writes us that William Balfour Ker's picture “The First Spank" reminds him of the following story: A little fellow who had just felt the hard side of the slipper, when the tears had dried somewhat, turned to his mother.‘ Mother,”* he asked, “did grandpa spank father when he wasa little boy?"* “Yes,” answered his mother, impressively. “And did his father whip him when be was little?? Yes.” And did his father spank him ?** A pause. “Well, who started this thing, anyway ?""—Everybody's. COULDN'T FOOL HIM Ata dinner. recently, William J. Bryan was joking about his repeated attempts to be elected President, although Mr. Bryan considers them no joke, at that * After a time,” he suid, "I shall be in the position of the man, somewhat worse for wear, who came intoa dance in Texas, The floor manager saw him and led him out. He came back. Then the floor manager pushed him out. He came back. Finally, the floor manager kicked him out, and he rolled down a flight of stairs, At the bottom of the stairs he considered the matter. ‘I know what it means," he said. ‘They can’t fool me. Those people in there do not want me toattend that dance. ""—Saturday Evening Post. PRACTICAL SYMPATHY A gentleman was one day relating to a Quaker a tale of deep distress. and conchuded by saying T could not but feel for him.” “Verily, friend,” replied the Quaker, “thou didst right in that thou didst feel for thy neighbor, but didst thou feel in the right piace? Didst thou feel in thy pocket ?""—Democratic Telegram, Lire is published eyery Thurslay, si h Possessions, $5.00 Union, $1.04 a year: mission obtained in advance. unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope Lire is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The International News Company, Breams land, Acewrs. Brentano's, 37 Ave, de 'Opera, Paris; wrcet, Leicester Square, W., London; 9, Rue The text and illustrations im Lire are copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced without special per= Prompt notifcation should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. [Steusnco 88 Lirtoks Boalhens, AC LOTHINGS Goutlemens Purnishing ids, Tropical weight suitings for extreme warm weather. Sum- mer furnishings, hats and shoes. | Traveling kits, Send for Illustrated Catalogue. BROADWAY Con. TWENTY SECOND ST., NEW YORK The Secret of a Healthy and Beantiful Skin A perfect complexion ig aisured to all who use this Soap. transparency is a sign of its pu FERD. MULHENS, Cologoe o/R, Germany ACLUFRR & KKOPTY, £98 Rroviwas, few York Send 15 cents in stamps for a fui! size sample cake comicbooks.co!