Life — June 18, 1908 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Rip Van Winkle IP VAN WINKLE returned from his long sleep looking fresh as a daisy, and made his way to barber shop, not only because he needed ' ind shave, but also because he wished to atch up on the news. “Let's see,” said he to the barber, after he was aiey tucked in the chair, “I've been asleep twenty en'tl * replied the tonsorialist I missed much ?” Nops, we bin standin’ pat.” Has Congress done anything yet?” ‘Not a thing “Jerome done anything?” Have resigned 2” wma Canal built?” on”? Bryan been elected 2” Well, say,"+ rising up in the chair, “rever mind sha her side af my face. I'm back to sleep Suceess. The Two Alternatives 1. GET some sad cases,” said the attendant at the lunatic asylum to the visitor, and gered the door to the first cell Inside was a man sitting on a stool and gazing acantly at the wall Sail story,” said the attendant; “he was in love 1, but she married another man, and he is reason from grief.” stole out softly, closing the door behind tem, and proceeded to the next inmate. ‘This cell ras thickly padded, and the man within was stark, d. o is this?” inquired the visitor. his,” repeated the attendant—"thisis the other ran." —Tit-Bits, The Soft Answer EN\TOR TILLMAN ata banquet in Washing- ton said, in a humorous defence of outspoken and frank methods : “These people who always keep calm fill me with eitrust, Those that never lose their temper I sus- pet. He who wears under abuse an angelic smile 8 apt to be a hypocrite. “An old South Carolina deacon once said to me sith a chuckle: Keep yo" tempah, son. Don’t yo" quarrel with seangry psn A soft answah am alus best. Hit's comm inded an‘, furthermo’, hit makes ‘em mad- cnsthing. else yo" could say.""—IWashington The Wrong One re A YOUNG man had been calling now and then 1a young lady when one night, as he sat in the parlor waiting for her to come down, her mother entered the room instead and asked him in a very grave, stern way what his intentions were. He turned very red and was about to stammer some incoherent reply when suddenly the young lady called down from the head of the stairs: “Mamma, mamma, that is not the one." —Ladies? Home Journal. Very Practical HAT would you do, dear, if I were to die?” asked Mrs. Darley, fondly. T don't know, “Which is your choice—burial —Tit- Bits. or cremation?” replied Darley, thoughtfully. | jet nn | THE SAGAMORE ON LAKE GEORGE ®4 163 Pictures for / O Cents On receipt of 10 cents we send you the catalogue of LIFE’S PRINTS containing more than 163 reproductions of these famous pictures LIFE PUBLISHING COMPANY, 17 WEST THIRTY-FIRST STREET, NEW YORK SESE Winger ON When Greek Meets Greek The season of outdoor sports is on—for the bat and ball, the boat and oar, the sprinter and track, the chase riders, the race course and riders, the swim- mers and bathers—to all of which enjoyments HUNTER BALTIMORE RYE contributes the delight of cheer or the comfort of strength. It is the finest stimulant for emergen- cies and the most perfect and purest whiskey for health and recuperation. % and by jobbers. Sold WM (ON, Baltimore, Md. = Open June to October on the Grandest Lake in America. Tennis, Boating, Riding. Golf, Automobiling, etc. New State T.EDMUND KRUMBIOLZ SAGAMORE, N.Y. Copyright #1 by Lane Pra 0 ONE TOUCH OF NATURE Photogravure in Brown, 20 by 15 in. $1.00 ro AND PRINTING $1.00 DEVELOPL 15 by 20 in. to Serve Grape Fruit BITTERS PRESS OF REOFIELD BROTHERS. NEW YORK pew and beuer way. Nemore core loown trait from a a teaspoonful of AUNOTT-S MITTERS to Me frastabl eusas to eat tact, “Gives exquisite t ar ade realy to the appetising and tone effect lover of good things Will enjoy grape fruit served to this Yaamser, comicbooks.com