Life — June 4, 1908 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Rebuild Your Overworked Physique into Sturdy Strength and Vigor How often do you come home at night too dogged tired to even respond to the pleasant reception awaiting you? Life’s struggle becomes more and more intense as the twentieth century progresses. Mentally and physic- ally you must conserve your energies, build up your strength and equip your- self for the test. You must have sleep, good digestion, steady nerves, bone and mus- cle. clear mind. These can be secured, maintained and enhanced by the use of "7 4 . The Best Tonic Being an extract of rich barley malt and choicest hops, it furnishes nourishment in predigested form and acts asa tonic. A desire for food is stimulated and power furnished the system to draw quicker, better and greater energy from what you eat. At the same time the gentle, soothing effects of the hops restore your nerves to their normal state. Peaceful and refreshing sleep is in- duced, the brain strengthened and new life given to the tired muscles. Pabst Extract, The ‘‘Best” Tonic, being a predigested liquid food, is wel- comed by the weakest stomach. It relieves insomnia, conquers dyspep- sia, strengthens the weak, builds up the overworked, helps the anaemic, feeds the nerves, assists nursing mothers and invigorates old age. At All Druggists—Insist Upon it Being Pabst Booklet and Picture ‘Baby's First Adventure’ sent free on request. PABST EXTRACT CO. DEPT. 12, MILWAUKEE, WIS. BLISS ELECTRICAL SCHOOL 211 G Street N. W., Washington, D.C. « theoretical and practical coune ia ELECTRICITY, one year. Students construct Dynamos, Motors, etc., and are trained for positions in electrical is wien Sixteenth year opens Sept. 23. Send for Catalog. P. B. ALE It has a satisfying taste that distin- guishes it from every other ale—the tonic taste of malt spiced by the tang of hops. Taste and be satisfied. A. G. Van No@rand BUNKER HILL BREWERIES Botton, Mas. THE By HENRY HUTT. 3-color MERRY teproduction—suitable for fram- ing, size 11 x 13. Price $1.00. WIDOW | address Mery Widow Publish. WALTZ _ | ing Co., 500 Fifth Avenue, New PAINTING | York City. Yapahootee ‘An Indian Legeod Told by the Spicit of Minschawtey HOULD you ask me, who is Yappy, Yappy, Yappy, Yap-a-hoo-tee, Yap-a-hoot-a-hoot-a-hootee ? I should answer thusly, lobster: Yap-a-hootee means in Siwash, Talk-a-heep, the gabbling gas-bag, Heated atmosphere, concocter, Prize purveyor of wind-pudding On the shores of the Po-to-mac Dwells there in the great white wig-wam, (When he isn’t dwelling elsewhere Or gone hunting something somexhere; ‘When he isn’t on the warpath, Slaying Oc-to-pi and bob-cats, Tracking Har-ri-mans and Hen-hawks, Busting Trusts and Molly-Coddles, Swatting Nature Fakers fiercely, Shooting with his hot-air pop-gun, Plutoc-Rats and other vermin, Undesirable, predaccous, Citizens and Mal-e-factors, And jast raisin’ hel-tin-gen-ral): In this wig-wam dwells a Chief-tain, Wide of grin, of teeth almighty, In this tee-pee roosts a war-lord, Given o'er to much chin-music, With a tongue that’s hitched amidships, Waggling fore and aft and side-ways, To the windward and the leeward, Upand down and in and outward. Loaded to the muzzle is be With high powered conversation, With the gift 0° gab most gabbling, And when nothing else is doing, Or the time hangs somewhat h At half-cock he shoots his mouth (For, alast no notch called “safety Makes him wait "tll aim is taken, So it goes off prematurely, When he breathes on the hair-trigger) Shoots it at his wondering tribesmen, Bids the married men get busy, Bids the squaws produce papooses, Bids us join in emulation Of the fecund, fertile rabbit, Molly Cottontail, the bunny, Then he clubs the cor-por-ations, With his stuffed club, Billy- Bladder, Lams the lining out of credit, Hands to Con-fid-ence a bot one, Knocks the socks from fourtcen billioa Tainted ducats and si-mol-cons, Talking ever thru his scalp-lock, Handing out his guff in bunches, Scares to death most everybody, Doesn't do a thing to business, Jumpaupon the Solar Plexus Of the golden ovum gosling, ‘Till his crazed tribe, panic-stricken, ‘Stunned with words and wind and gabbie, Hide their store of shells and wampum, Hide their yellow boys and greenbacks In their moccasins and stockings. Once upoa these shells and wampum, Used by all the tribes for money, Yap-a-hoo-tee found a motto Telling of a God to trust in. Yappy talked that motto silly, ‘Talked it deaf and dumb and batty, Till the words, by words affrighted, Fade into the great Skidooward, ‘Where is nothingness forever. Then he shrieked with war-whoop mighty Trust in Me, oh men and maidens, Braves and squaws and all papooses, Put your trust in Yapahoo-tee; He's the first, last Hot To-ma-lee, He's the only pure tin God-let, Here's your motto: “Trust in Yappy.”” See him leaning on his clublet, On his spear that knows no brother, Athis feet his faithful dachshund, By his side his throne’s successor, mi, and f Good old Gadabout, the Fat One.