Life, 1908-06-04 · page 17 of 44
Life — June 4, 1908 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"A Short Circuit"** (top left cartoon): Depicts a train derailment with violent collision. The accompanying text jokes about a nervous traveler asking a companion how fast to claim they were going—the companion flippantly suggests "a smile a minute," satirizing casual dishonesty about accidents, likely insurance fraud. **"A Long-Expected Ceremony"**: Sharp satire on wealthy industrialist **John D. Rockefeller** as "Emperor Rockefeller," mocking America's gilded-age plutocracy. References **Andrew Carnegie's** "canonization" and mentions **W.T. Jerome** and **Paul Morton** (prominent figures of the era). The joke: while the president, newspaper editors, and clergy wait obsequiously to kiss the tycoon's feet, only skimmed milk reaches the unemployed—depicting extreme wealth inequality and the subservience of institutions to industrial titans. **"Those Idle Cars"**: Commentary on 413,000 idle freight cars and economic anxiety. Dismisses public fear of economic stagnation under President **Roosevelt** and **Taft**, suggesting business should trust these idle assets will be needed soon—likely reflecting Progressive-era tensions over railroad monopolies and economic uncertainty.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A SHORT Smilage ERVOUS TRAVELER (to seat com- panion): How fast should you say you were traveling? ComPaNton (who has been flirting with the girl across the way): About a smile a minute. Take Along a Dog HEN going on a journey, always take a dog along. In the selection of a canine traveling com- panion, one to soothe our lonesome mo- ments, to guard us when we sleep and to be with us as we tramp through the over- worked art gallery, there is great variety— from the dignified, stately little Persian hair- less toy dog, weighing from two ounces to two ounces and a half, up to the ever-playful Great Dane, the delight of headwaiters and pursers. In general, it is better to select a medium- sized dog, with a short-hair temperament. Have your name and address embossed on his back in bold letters. Also have his name and address put on you so the dog can identify you when necessary Traveling with a dog lifts one up at once above dull routine. Also, it adds to one’s nerve. If you can smuggle him into a hotel room without detection, it fills you with a personal sense of triumph. If you can hide him in a parlor car unbeknown to the con- ductor, you immediately transform travel into an adventure, Or else to feel, as you glide through beau- tiful stretches of scenery, or view vast moun- cIRcUIT ahead a kindred spirit howling out his en- thusiasm above the roar of the train—one who will never desert you—surely this adds to life’s joys immeasurably. A Long-Expected Ceremony HE. coronation of Emperor Rockefeller took place yesterday. Everybody of consequence was present. W. T. Jerome and Paul Morton led his train as he walked up the aisle. The Bishop ‘of Chicago performed the operation. In honor of the event, Andrew Carnegie was canonized. His halo, made in Pittsburg, will hereafter be worn on state occasions. After the ceremony Emperor Rockefeller re- tired to his Palace at Pontico, Itis understood that he will rule mostly from there. Skimmed milk was dis- tributed to the unem- ployed in honor of the event. The Standard Oil Company has also raised its dividend. The President of the United States, the edi- tors of the principal pa- pers and the leading metropolitan clergymen waited until after the crowd dispersed, when they could kiss Emperor R.'s feet undisturbed by 601 Those Idle Cars HOSE 413,000 idle freight cars that we hear so much of! Cannot something be done about them? Used, as they are, to scare the timid, they are retarding pros- perity, injuring business and disturbing the sleep of deserving persons who are deeply concemed to have all wheels start turning again. ' The fear of Roosevelt is subsiding because, at last, even the stupidest people begin to think he is going out. The fear of Taft has never been acute, and nobody is really much afraid this year of Brother Bryan. The scariest thing anywhere about is the spook of the 41 3,000 idle freight cars. Get alive, Business, and take courage about those cars. They are not eating their heads off, neither are they starving, neither have they gone home to Italy and carried their earnings with them. © They are just where you want them, resting on the sidings, ready for you to fill them up and send them humming. Geta move on those cars. You will need them all again before snow time. But, meanwhile, they should give vou confidence instead of scaring you, They are assets, not threats. If you did not have them and could not expand for the lack of them, that, indeed, would be real trouble. But as it is they are no menace, no real warning, but a reassurance and an invitation. One Awful Thing After Another CANDALS pile in on Indiana. The other day, it was Mr. Fairbanks’s flirta- tion with the cocktail, and now it is the amazing dealings of the Widow Gunness with her suitors, The good name of the Hoosier State cannot but suffer from these repeated shocks. tain ranges, that there is in the baggage car _ too many plaudits, IT IS RUMORED THAT INDIANA IS “SOLID” FOR FAIRBANKS - comicbooks.com