Life — May 7, 1908 — page 40: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The first Derby made in America was a C.K. Hats for Men NAPP-FELT hats include in their make-up the result of fifty years ex- / perience in making fine hats in the C. & K. shop. Knapp-Felt DeLuxe, the best hats made, are Six Dollars. Knapp-Felts, the next best, are Four Dollars, everywhere. Write for The Hatman™ Tue CroruT & KNAPP Co. BROADWAY. AT THIRTEENTH ST.. NEW YORK Carpet Stweepers Confine all the dust, thus protecting the health of the entire household, besides re- duce the labor of sweeping 95%, cleanse and preserve your car- pets and rugs, accom. plish the work in of the time the corn broom requires, and make sweeping an agreeable task instead of a positive drudgery. Don't think the corn broom is more economical, as this would be a reat "mistake. Une ISSELL sweeper will last longer than fifty corn brooms. Once you use the Bissell, you will regret the comfort and cleanliness you have long sacrificed in using the tiresome, in- efficient, unsanitary corn broom, The Bissell is sold by all the best trade. Price $2.50 to $5.50. Buy a Bissell " Beating Sweeper now of your dealer, send us the purchase slip within one week, and we will send you FREE a neat, usetul present. Send for free booklet. eer. 132 Bissell Carpet Sweeper Company Grand Rapids, Mich. (Larges and Qnly Ex: Glusive Carpet Swe Makers in the World) ! glide Two Miles a Minute YOmilesaminute, Geehowwelly! Swiftasameteor Streakingthesky Whatisthatblur? Onlythetrees. Lookatthemwave— Mywhatabreeze! Abonkandarush, Aflashandasmell— Whatdidwehit? Didsomebodyyell? Ajarandascream— Ilookedlikeahorse Notellingnow, Keeptothecourse —Leonard H. Robbins in Jersey Jingles. Rumor UMOR is a common noun, singular and femi-| nine gender—except when it is used by stock gamblers to influence the market or by statesmen to influence politics. Necessity is the grandmother of Rumor, because Rumor is the child of Invention. Considered sepa- its forbears are feminine idlebodies and mas- culine busybodies. ‘The physical properties of Rumor are unique and interesting. It is more potent than fact, attains to a greater velocity than electricity, cannot be reduced toa syllogism, feeds on emotion, sleeps with one eye open, gathers strength with age and dies of punc- tured dropsy. Rumor is like Santa Claus. We know its general tendencies, but not its specific origin. All we know of Rumor is from hearsay. No one has ever been ar- rested for stealing it, as the original owner is always unwilling to claim it. Rumor is predatory. Its chief quarries are lovers (married or single), preachers, social leaders, police- men, politicians and people. Its bitterest foe is Ru- mor. Therefore, Rumor should always be treated | homeopathically. Its motto is relato refero ipsissimis verois, which ought to mean: “Don't believe half vou hear and forget the other half.""—Lippincott's Magazine. D in the ladies’ cabin of a Camden y. She was an old maid and very angry. TI fat man sat behind his paper and contentedly puffed his cigar, despite the incessant coughs at his elbow and the continual glare first at himself and then at the sign oppos “Do you know, sir, this is the ladies’ cabin, and the sign says ‘No smoking ??” “Yes.” “Well,” snapped the old maid, “what are you going to do about it?” is but one solution, madam, to the prob- * said the fat man between puffs. “Remove the sign.” And he kept on smoking.—Princeton Tiger. HENRY 1. ASHTON, a Virginia City capitalist, | has in his library, richly bound in crushed nt, those carly volumes of the Virginia City Enterprise to which Mark Twain contributed. ‘The faded pages contain innumerable specimens of the famous writer's quaint humor. Mr. Ashton often points out the first paragraph that Mark Twain wrote on his arrival in Virginia City. The paragraph thunderstorm made Beranger a poct, a made Benjamin West a painter and a a week makes us a journalist."—Ne you feeling very ill?” asked the doctor “Let me sce your tongue, please ?” “What's the use, doctor,” replied the patient tongue can tell how bad I fee so4 \ ou can get good stron; hand made collars at two fora quarter— with perfect style and fit. But you must remember to ask for Colas. Ta5e The best men’s shops almost every where sell Corliss Coon-Collars. If not willingly supplied send us 25c. for any two collars you would like to try. ‘We want to send you our style book showing all the latest shapes. Free on request, Corliss, Coon & Co., Troy, N. Y. Dept. J LOOK FOR THE “DIAMOND” Trade <Q Mark which ws shghtly raed on the surface of all genuine Fast Color Eyelets if you would have SHOE EYELETS That Can't Wear “BRASSY™ Genuine Fast Color Eyelets cam als ways be datinguahed by the DIA- MOND <> TradeMark. Made with tops of sold color they always look new Ask your thoe dealer about them United Fast Color Eye- let Co. Fl Garde and ¢ Th Com Flo Casth Ark and ( Th Holt ; (EP. 11 Dut