Life — May 7, 1908 — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A COMPENSATION A eS ly TO THE POINT When you have a thing to say, Say it. Don't take half a day. Where your tale's got little in it, Crowd the whole-shing in a minute! Life is short—a fleeting vapor— Don't you fill the whole blamed paper With a tale whi Could be cornered in an inch! Boil her down until she simmers; Polish her until she glimmers; When you have a thing to sty, Say it. Don't take half a day. UNUKE THE PRESIDENT An Irishman, having resided the required number of years in this country, one day made application to the Judge for final naturalization papers. The Judge. following the usual practice, interrogated the applicant in a general way with reference to his knowledge of things American, to the end of determining whether he would prove a good citizen. Among the questions put was, “Have you read the Constitution?” “Yes, your Honor,” glibly replied the Irishman; “an’ I'm glad to say that T were very much pleased with it."—Iest Publishing Company's Bulletin preazh las’ night haz what—hic—I thought hat a pinch —The Editor. HOW? The teacher was telling of the effects of cigarette smoking on the heart, and added, “People with weak hearts often die.” A deeply interested boy asked here; “How often do they have to die before they stay dead!"—IWasp. haps two-thirds of them.” 17x, is published every Thursday, simultancously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and ish Possessions. $5.00 a year in advance. Adiditional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a sear; to Canada. 52 cents. Single current copies, 10 cents Back numbers, alter months from date of publication, 25 cents No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. Lirr. is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The International News Company, Hreams yl OE AN AGREEMENT Partsnionne (a little the worse Jor liquor) w Minister: You didn't hear much, I fancy. ELL, WELL—THIS MUST AEA MVETING OF THE AREO CLUB! “How many people work in your office?” Fliegende Blactter It was not always possible for Mrs. Leahy, from ber perma. nent station at the wash-tub, to appreciate the sliver lining which Mr. Leahy discovered in every cloud, and pointed out 10 her © eS “I've lost me job, Nora," be said, cheerfully, “but nis isthe time you'd ought to be thankful I'm mot as smarrt as some." “Why should I be thankful for that?"" inquired Mrs. Leaby, pausing for an instant to wipe her glistening forchea.) with ber damp apron. “Tis aisy seen,” and ber husband gazed tolerantly at ber from his comfortably tipped-back chair by the stove. “If Twas Terry Dolan, now, and out of me job, I'd be losin’ t'ree dally a day instead o' wan-sivinty-five. You think o' that, me daria’, an’ ‘twill put the hearrt into you, same as it has into me."— Youth's Companion. A HOPEFUL SIGN Crushed among the straphangers who filled a suburban a to the bursting point, a timid man gasped to his neighbor “Please give me a little space.” “Don't apply to me,” was the answer. sing card.” The timid man glanced in the direction indicated and read this announcement: FOR SPACE IN THIS CAR Apply to Stringem's Advertising Agency. Lippincott I hearzh you myself.”"—Leslie’s Weebly. “Read that advent. AN AUBI A new story comes out of the West, which runs like this, according to the Tarkio Herald: A Sunday-school teacher asked his class who led the children of Israel out of Egypt. No cet answered. He again put the question a little more pointed Still silence reigned. The teacher became impatient and wit: “Johny, who led the children of Israel out of Egype?” Jobesy began to cry and said: “Please, sir, it wasn't me. We jest moved here last week. “Work? Per- Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, AGENTS. Brentano's, 37 Ave. de Opera, Pars; also at Saarlach's News Exchang Coventry Street. Leicester Square, W., London; 9, Ret Paris: 1. 3, Mayence, Germany. are copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced without special jor St. Georges, The text and illustrat mission obtained in advance. Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. See What SEMA THE Of STRENGTH OF OR LESS AWEEK Buys in Life Insurance. For Instance At age 35, 84 cents a week buys $1,000 Life Insur- ance for 20 years, then $1,000 cash to policy-holder. How about your home? Will your family be able to keep it should anything happen to you? Why not settle the matter now? Write to-day for information of The New Low Cost Policy With Rates at Your Age. Dept. 0. The Prudential Insurance Co. of America Iacorporated as a Stock Company by the State of New Jersey John F. Dryden, President Home Office: Newark, N. J. Still looking for the cigarette with just the right flavor ? PHILIP MORRIS ORIGINAL LONDON CIGARETTES have it—as fifty years of world-wide popularity have proven. Hi pale. Tund He the b new f "G der ar you've totha and g I beer “Ty I just dipav I've w His brilliar “M, gone fi plain all me: “Th Of cou ecutors “Do “An “AU “Th Estelle. “By the pap Mr. execute