Life — April 2, 1908 — page 38: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NOX supremacy does not end at either the Atlantic or Pacific coasts. If you could wear your new Spring KNOX HAT in several different countries at once, you would find yourself “in style” on the boulevards of Paris, Berlin and Vienna, as well as on Fifth Avenue. Knox quality and Knox style are standard wherever there are men who require the best. While Rock. “The World's Best Table Water” Hit of the Hour, “Richard’s Poor Almanack,” beautifully bound, illustrated humorous book, sent for 10c. Address White Rock, Flatiron Bldg., N. Y. The Litle One: DO YOU BELIEVE IN POLYGanty? The Big One: yes, BUT You wUSTN” A Worthless Island “TSLANDS? Why, I own a whole island my down in the South Seas,” remarked Frank Bon- neau, the Nevada and Utah mining man, at the esterday. | “Tcan’t remember the name of the thing; anyway, it’s twenty-eight miles and a fraction long and up to six miles wide. Funny, way I got it. There was a young Englishman, been sort of the black sheep of the family, remittance man, gone through every- thing; then the family gave him the island. He came up here; thought he had a good mining scheme; got me in on it. I put up one thousand dollars for him, too. He was broke; wanted-one thousand dollars cash; offered me his island, I didn’t want it, but I gave him the money. After some months he sent me from Australia a great mass of records for about two hundred years and the deed all right, tax receipts and all. Island’s not civilized, but covered with palm trees and thick with hogs.” “Can’t you market the hogs?” asked Assistant Manager Wilson. “Oh, they're an inferior grade of hogs, kind of razorbacks; so blamed bow-legged they can hardly walk; live on nuts.” “Bow-legged? Can hardly walk?” “Yep, bow-legged from climbing cocoanut palms after the nuts.”—San Francisco Chronicle. HE following anecdote, after remaining in storage many years, has been recently dusted and brought to light: ‘A young and afterward distinguished attorney from an up-country district of New York State was arguing his first appeal in the old General Term of Supreme Court. He had been in many legal scrim- mages in justices’ courts at home, but had never stood in the awesome presence of five sedate and learned judges of the Supreme Court, in general | term assembled. His embarrassment was great. He repeated himself and misplaced his words so often | that it was quite evident that he must soon be routed by his own confusion unless something should occur to break the spell. Finally, and just as he was floundering the deepest in a chaotic jumble of lan- guage and ideas, the presiding judge interrupted with the following remark: “Mr. Smithers, I believe it will be a great relief to yourself and to the court if you will address us in the same free and informal way that you doubtless use in addressing your local justice of the peace.” “Well, then,” replied Smithers, “I wish that while Iam busy alleviating your honor’s dense ignorance of the law, you would keep your d— mouth shut!” ‘The court laughed heartily and waved for him to proceed. He grew cloquent and won his case in the midst of hearty applause— Bohemian. Orn sists in a and scho the curr batch of among tl “Bloo cork-scre Asked chiefly n To the tho, in ble for t thing in “n AR. hi cccupy « come to “You you"— “Yes, nurtured her hom: by every “Can “No, towhich comicbooks.com