Life — March 5, 1908 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

J want to be a gipsy, in the springtime; I want to be a rover, in July, But November's winds have racked me, and those things now don't attract me— I just want to be a quiet little guy, In a nice, steam-heated dwelling in the city, With a carriage to conduct me to my toil, Which should last from ten to two and corral the revenue; Yea, in winter, I'm an alien from the soil I want to be a farmer in the Maytime ; I want to be a vintner in the fall, But I wake from such ecstatic dreams for reasons quite climatic My ears no longer hear the wildwood’s call For me the simple joys of town existence, Some twenty minutes from the Public Square: Lost ideals! I wished, in June, I were a tramp or picaroon: Now, I only want to be a millionaire! —Cleveland Leader Oproxtentty knocked Joudly at the man's door. But the man was busy discoursing on panics, their habits and habitats. So Opportunity grinned and ambled along.—Lowisville Courter. Journal, ‘Tne Sourm ror Hoserrauiry: The Manor, Asheville, North. Carolina, is the best inn South.— Booklet, HENRY JAMES TO BE STAGED ‘There isan announcement which is calculated to stir inwardly, at least, since there exists, latently, as one may, in fact, perceive subconsciously, the capacity in most of us who are, it may be, sensitive to the promptings of the indefinable something. to be, subtly, not surprised at any momentary occurrence. Namely, Henry James is to be staged. A play of his is cast already for the English provinces. In effect this will be a dramatic début for the distinguished former American author, since a little effort of some years ago escaped a serious hearing in London —Newe York World THE ANVIL CHORUS AGAIN Roto; She claims she is one of the “Four Hundred." Trssix; She looks more like one of the “fifty-seven.”— Princeton Tiger. Me. Cntoare thinks the country is suffering from too much legislation. Doubtless bills will now be introduced on this new topic.—Washington Star In a pinch use Allen's Foot Ease. WARNED My friends,” said the campaign orator, “beware of the un scrupulous heeler (Applause.) ‘There are men so lost to shame that they will offer you a dollar for your vote. (Hisses.) Do not listen to them. Spurn them. Be on your dignity. Demand more.” (Continued applause.) —Philadelphia Ledger. Morirt: When you eloped with George, did you leave a note telling your people where you had gone? Ganrincce: Why, of course. ICT hada’t, how would papa have known where to send us any money?—Iilustrated Bits “Iv 18 easier to be good than great,” remarked the moralizer Yes." rejoined the demoralizer, “one has less op] Chicago Daily News. DROP ONE SYLLABLE. The financial situation might be further relieved by a little change from stockings to stocks. —Boston Herald. KINDLY ADVICE Intenuicent Rescvre (to skater who has fallen through) Steady, old man, steady! Keep cool! —The Bystander. Doctor Grirriy: 1 must say the world is very ungrateful toward our profession. How seldom one sees a public memorial erected to a doctor! Mes. Gotcutiy: How seldom! Oh, doctor, think of our cemeteries!—Stray Stories GREAT BEAR SPRING WATER “Its purity has made it famous.” “THE BEST IN THE HOUSE” (jarick Club Ge Whi VG The Whiskey for all occasions Alfred E. Norris & Co., Proprietors, Philadelphia Pallman Passenger Cars GIVE IDEAL SERVICE FOR COUNTRY CLUBS AND HOMES ‘This lewurtous, easy-risling car provides the most fascinating and, at the same time, the mow €-onomdcal method of country od luburtan transportation yet cevied. It ries as easy a GO ‘Nothing has bea spared to give style, beauty aad pag =i Satria Rapid Motor Vehicle (o,139 Kapid St, Foatiae, Mle. Wemake Tracts, Dosw, Fry Mose Wagoes, Hogptal Aum balanon od eaytaing opin Sires “SUPER-EXTRA”’ Chocolates ’ * and Confections— Servants’ Livery got cee ° Our method of distribution gives is one of our these famous Philadelphia confections . * to you, everywhere, in fresher, better specialties. condition than is possible with any others—emphasizing their superiority. i From the best druggist in each local- Write for ity—or send $1.00 1 specimen box. Catalogue. Smad “rng crx rt Contes Winans sarin cuessiiss fa Contes SMITH, GRAY & co. || | | Ae savnsnicenti“ 1316 Chestnut Philadelphia NEW YORK BROOKLYN Street (Since 1842) Broadway, at Warren St. Fulton St., at Flatbush Ave. Broadway, at 31 St. Broadway, at Bedford Ave. SUPER EXTRA, FRADE RA philos ever si feet. | “that: Don’t one fai I loo “Mi wouldr you, al "Ye: “Th replied told m but my on to y I too “Doi “You'r Or you with a says, W take a f you, if I says, “Yor fessor, | “Tm Mr. Sac “Yes for me. And \ my way Old n “Tive got time He ju “Goo mean? abandor “Yes, comicbooks.com