Life — February 27, 1908 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘LIPE- Some Leap Year Advice THe fact that this is leap year is only just beginning to dawn on a great many hither- to unencumbered young men, who need to be warned in time. Let us consider the matter defensiv Being proposed to, without waming, by a beautiful young girl, with nothing against her hn except that she is a woman, is a dangerous SS business. Before you know it, she will have BY you in her arms, and, as your manly head droops on her shoulder and she clears away your ambrosial locks in order to plant a first sweet kiss, you will realize that it is too late to retreat. Before this happens one must first be quite sure that the girl is the right one. If she is, nothing more need be said, except to help her along in every way possible. NS. Old Beau: WILLIAMS, ARE MY EYEBROWS ON STRAIGHT AND IS MY WIG PROPERLY CRUMPED? Valet: yes, SiR; BUT YOUR CHFST HAS SLIPPED DOWN A BIT. This, of course, is often necessary. For it must be remem- bered that while waiting for the period of four years to end, any girl is likely to get out of practice. Besides, at the end of the period, she may be too old, and if she is young enough, this will naturally be her first attempt. Encourage her, there- fore, by every means in your power. Place your hand within constant and easy holding distance, and if she shyly puts her arm about your waist, do not start back and act as if there was a mouse in the room. Meet her half, or, if necessary, nine-tenths of the way. + * #& Of course, if she does not need any assistance—if she shows by her whole manner, and the businesslike way she goes at it, that she is fully able to take care of herself (and you), why, then, it is just as well to draw back a little, and be shy. If she attempts to kiss you, blush vividly, turn your head away and tell her you don’t think it’s proper for any respectable young man to allow a girl to kiss him unless they are engaged. And if she asks you to say yes on the spot you can then refer, in an astonished manner, to the extreme sud- denness of the proposition and ask for a re- prieve to think it over. When at last you have reluctantly concluded to accept her, do not show that you are completely and utterly hers all at once. Keep something back. Make her feel anxious about you. If she says to you, “Oh, my de-arling, only say that you are all mine, that you are withholding nothing of your love,” you can tap her playfully on the cheek with your fountain pen and reply, ‘Tut, tut, Clarice, you ask too much,” and change the subject to horse racing or bridge, or the weather. Natu- rally, you will not carry this too far—to the point of discouragement. Hand her out, at unex- pected moments, a few impulsive heart-throbs, not necessarily for publication, but as a guarantee of good faith. * * * Before all this happens, every young man, ere he is a prisoner for life, with no chance of get- ting anything off even for good behavior, should consider carefully whether he is willing to place himself in a position where he is likely to be proposed to by the first girl he is alone with in a dark hall or a secluded piazza. If he makes up his mind that he doesn’t want to take any chances, then he should govern his life accord- ingly. Avoid pleasure resorts, ocean steamers and railroads where there is liable to be an acci- dent. To be under the necessity of rescuing a beautiful golden-haired stranger intact from a burning wreck might lead to hopeless results. Keep in public places as much as possible, and never go out at night without a chaperon. Re- member that during this trying period eternal vigilance is the price of single blessedness. For no man knoweth when his hour is at hand. comicbooks.com