Life, 1907-12-05 · page 36 of 68
Life — December 5, 1907 — page 36: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page mocks the exhausted state of Christmas humor by the early 1900s. Franklin P. Adams's poem laments that all the traditional holiday jokes—about knitted slippers as gifts, Santa's whiskers, pianos in stockings, unwanted presents—have become so stale they're essentially dead. The accompanying illustration satirizes wealthy industrialists through a fake "Sunday-School Christmas" where capitalist titans appear as misbehaving children: **Pierpont Morgan** is the "best boy" rewarded for generosity (ironic, given his monopolistic practices); **Andrew Carnegie** is caught stealing from the tree; **William Howard Taft** plays Santa; and **Eddie Harriman** and **Charlie Morse** receive toys symbolizing their business interests. **George Cortelyou** (Roosevelt's Secretary of Commerce) is elected superintendent—suggesting he'll manage these "unruly boys." The satire targets how these powerful men behaved like undisciplined children in their business dealings, while society rewarded their greed as virtue.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Old Familiar Jokelets (With the usual apologies to the heirs, administrators and assigns of Charles Lamb, deceased.) HAVE had standbys, I have written verses On the theme of Christmas, on the joyous Yuletide; All, all are gone, the old familiar joke Dead as a barrel full of perished doornails, Stale as a yesterevening sporting extra; All, all are gone, the old familiar jok Dead is the joke about the knitted slipper, Dead is the jest on Santa Claus’s whisker: All, all are dead, the old familiar jokelets. Gone is the quip about the wifely necktie, Gone is the laugh on ladies buying see-gars; Dead as free silver are the old familiar jokelets. Vanished the joke on pianos in a stocking, Vanished the scream of presents undesired, Vanished the sparkle of the old familiar jokelets. Parodies galore of the night preceding Christmas, Jokes about writing Christmas stuff in August; All, all are gone, the old familiar jokelets. So, in an age of matters pessimistic, Let us rejoice—ay, let us offer thanks that All, all are gone, the old familiar jokelets. Franklin P. Adams. Our Sunday-School Christmas Celebration = was an unusual attendance at the Sunday-school Christmas Eve celebration this year. The Christmas tree was beautiful, being trimmed with Inter- Met. bonds by little Tommy Ryan and Theodore Shonts. It was lighted with Subway electric lights. All the little boys and girls were present. The best boy in the school during the year was little Pierpont Morgan. He was presented with a floral cornucopia filled with City 6's, as be- ing the most generous and self-denying scholar. Little Andy Carnegie had to be suppressed early in the eve- ning. He was caught hooking things off the tree. In so young a child, however, it was not held against him, as his character has as yet hardly had time to develop morally. Little Eddy Harriman, dressed in a striped suit, came with his friend Charlie Morse. Eddy got a new tin railroad, and Charlie a new savings bank. Both were highly delighted with their toys. Bill Taft took the part of Santa Claus, and handed out Teddybears to all. Georgie Cortelyou was elected superintendent for next year. He is very young yet, but it is thought that he will be able to keep the unruly boys in order. Life’s Sorrows OB (to Bessie): It seems rather strange, Bessic, that when I didn’t want to kiss you you didn’t mind, but now that you are old enough to make me want to, you won't let me. HOPE SANTA CLAUS STARTS AT OUR OF THE STORK BROTHERS’ STOCK- FAtueRr KNICKERBOCKER (sadly, to the shade of Lincoln): And to think that both of those trust com- panies were named after us! r»12/ 31415 B19 | 30} a | a2 195116 | oy | 1B 109 22 ay 29 23 | 24 | 253] 26 ory ie comicbooks.com