Life — November 7, 1907 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Customs Inspection F SECRETARY CORTELYOU can effect an abatement of the customs. nuisance, he will win the lasting grati- tude of that part of the traveling public called “half-citizens.” Nay, more, he y even prove to be the unconscious means by which women will come to a realizing sense of the beauty and nobility of truth, when a premium is no longer upon lying. From a woman's point of view, cust house inspection is an unnecessary drop of bitterness in an otherwise cheerful ex- perience. Indeed, there are certain phases of the tariff which her brain seems unable to grasp, puzzle over them as she will. If she is earning her own living, f example, and saves cnough money to go to Europe every two or three years, it is not quite apparent to her why all the ad- vantages in the tariff laws should lie so entirely with the capitalist and the work- ingman LTPE A Simple Country Dinner HEN we goed to Aunt Carrie's, she Scz she ain’t had no time to fix A dinner like it ought to be, *Cause she has been at work since six a-sweepin’ out th’ rooms An’ tidyin’ th’ place a lot, So, if we're hungry, she p’sumes We'll haf to take just what she’s ¢ in’t th’ one style— An’ nen she sez she To try to put on She likes relations just to run In for a meal oncet in awhile, An’ be content with what is cooked— A simple country dinner—so If anything is overlooked *T'll haf to be excused, you know. An’ nen she goes an’ shuts th’ door leads out where th’ table is, he's glad he’s wore ppuhtite o' his! Aunt Carrie tells us to come on Although there’s nothin’ fit to touch, But we can eat till it is gone, But she knows that it “Increased prosperity,” due in pa high tariff, means to the workingman higher wages, with which he can meet the increasingly greater cost of living (due to prosperity ?). By the self-support- ing woman, on the other hand, the greater cost of living (in rent, provisions, and clothes) must be met with the same t, unless she pays for the privi- lege, she is forbidden by law—“‘half- citizen” though she is—to replenish her wardrobe in Europe beyond one hun- dred dollars’ worth, although she could save money by doing so. And this in order that higher wages may be paid to foreign workmen, who do not belong in this country, and who assist already too rich capitalists to crush out competition alan An’ there is chickens—young ones—fried; An’ there's a juicy, big boiled ham, "Ith lots 0” gravy on cach side, An’ turnips an’ blackberry jam; An’ soda biscuits—just as light !— An’ quince p’serves, an’ peaches, too; An’ mash’ potatoes, just as white! An’ dandy pickles, I tell you! An’ beans, an’ peas, an’ corn an’ rice, An’ cherries ’at is sweet an’ red; An’ quince p’serves—I’ve told ‘at twice— But they're fine on Aunt Carrie’s bread! An’ pies—three kind 0° pies—an’ cake; An’ apple jelly—it’s th’ best You ought to sce it shake an’ shi An’—goodness! I forget th’ rest! An’ we all eat till we can’t hold Another little bite, you bet; n’ nen Aunt Carrie, she will scold An’ say she knows we're hung: Nen pa, he sez ’at this here me Has surely been mos’ glo-ri-ous, An’ sez he wonders how we'd feel If she had been expectin’ us! W. D. Nesbit. with other countries, while they them- selves, the capitalists, lead the fight with the slogan, ‘Decrease in cost to the con- sumer!” Truly, a bright picture of alluring promise! It stirs patriotism in the most sluggish heart Prosperity! Prosperity! How many sweet illusions have been fostered in thy name! Carolyn Shipman. Favoritism HAVEN'T a pull with any one,” said the unsuccessful man, “Oh, yes, you have, dear,” said his wife, encouragingly; “with the fool- killer.” comicbooks.com