Life — August 8, 1907 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

goa! Wedel win The Boy President Or Rollo in the White House ¢ more lobsters care the more su, * answered Jonas Ul The Football Congress ‘E fine April morning Jonas, in his capacity of Secreta of Agriculture, was cutting the lawn in front of the White House, when Rollo rode into the driveway upon a beautiful bay horse called “San Juan Hill.” “Good morning, Jonas,” cried Rollo, “Good morning, Sire,” replied Jonas, mopping his brow respectfully “It is not necessary to call me ‘Sire,’” said Rollo “Where do you ride from, sir?’ asked Jonas. rom the office of the Commissioner of Fisheries.” “What stories he must be able to tell,” observed Jonas. “Yes, that is all in his day’s work,” said Rollo. ‘He tells me, Jonas, that the lobster is becoming extinct.” “By the capture of short lobsters, I suppose?” inquired Jonas No, by the scraping of the eggs from the female lobster and selling them as males, contrary to the statute in that case made and provided,” said Rollo, who found the law a fascina- ting field for diversion. ‘I shall take this matter up myse “1 would certainly advise you to do so,” said Jonas is very important for you.” “Why?” asked Rollo. ince the more lobsters there are the more supporters you will have,” answered Jonas. Rollo’s bay horse pawed angrily upon the gravel driveway at this, but the Boy President himself was calm and unmoved “You are the same old Jonas still, notwithstanding your high station.” “Yes, L have no pride of office,” said Jonas. “By the way, Jonas, have you found out what the duties of your offices are yet?” “Yes,” replied Jonas. “The duties of my offices are real pleasures to me. Sometimes I tie up seeds into neat little packages to be sent to the farmers by the Members of Con- gress. It is nice to get some of the taxes back in that way, if you are a farmer. Sometimes I grow bananas in the experimental station in Alaska, and the cactus has lost its thorns under my beneficent rule. Oh, Iam never at loss for a task.” “Neither is the Interstate Commerce Com- mission,” said Rollo, who on his ride had seen a dray laden with several tons of Railroad Ra Schedules standing before the office of the chairman of that commissii “You have a varied round of duties, Jonas,” continued the Boy President. ‘Do the new rules for football come under your super vision ?” No,” replied Jonas, “the Secretary of War must have those under him.” “Thave been giving this great subject per- sonal attention,” said Rollo. “I do not think that the game should be abandoned without making a deter- mined effort to revise the rules. I have called a convention of the Head Coaches of the Leading Universities to consider the matter.” “Ah, sir,” exclaimed Jonas, ‘your name will go down in history linked with that of Washington.” “George?” “No; Booker.” “Jonas,” said Rollo, “your constant contact with Mr. George in the Cabinet Councils has given you the chestnut habit; but to resume my talk about football. It is a corking game; it must not die. I do not object toa boy being broken, or even destroyed, if it is only done in the spirit of true sport Indeed, I should have a very poor opinion of a fellow who shrank from getting broken bones and who thus lost the joy of the strife.” San Juan Hill bucked at this speech and the President's sombrero fell to the ground, but the President himself sat firm in the saddle. Jonas picked up the sombrero and handed it to his chief with a low bow. “Thank you, Jonas,” said Rollo. “The old horse is feeling his oats to-day.” “Ah, Sire “What do you say?” asked Rollo. “Oh, but, Mr. President, you ride like a centaur. “A centaur,” said Rollo, “‘is a man who is half horse—a classical cowboy—and speaking of cowboys, when I was on my ranch in the Bad Lands” comicbooks.com