Life — August 1, 1907 — page 45: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ze you n that t mis. r any t, and ything t do a st day d had a aght 1 notion ill. J to be chair it can eward I had away, hearty an, by rm of whom \deay- , ina »py to How to Spell By Marx Twatn WAS the property of a magazine, a seven-cent siave under a boiler-iron contract. One day there came a note from the editor requiring me to write ten pages on this revolting text: “Considerations Con-erning the Alleged Subterranean Holophotal Extemporancousness of the Conchyliaceous Super- ion of the Ornithorhyncus, as Foreshadowed Unintelligibility of Its Plesiosaurian Aniso- ylous Aspect ‘en pages of that. Each and y word a seventcen-jointed vestibuled railroad Seven cents a word. I saw starvation staring ly in the face. I went to the editor, and I a stenographer along, so as to have the interview «son, and read it Subterranean Holophotal Extemporancousness of the Conchyliaceous Superimbrication of the Orni- thor hyncus, as Foreshadowed by the Unintelligibility of 11s Plesiosaurian Anisodactylous Aspects.” I said: “You want ten pages of those rumbling, eat, long, summer thunder peals, and you expect to yet them at seven cents a peal?” Ile said: “A word's a word, and seven cents is the what are you going to do about it?” kson, this is cold-blooded oppression. verage English word ?” Six letters.” I said: “Nothing of the kind; that’s French, and includes the spaces between the words; an average English word is four letters and a half. By hard, honest labor I have dug all the large words out of my vocabulary and shaved it down till the average is three letters and a half. Ican put twelve hundred words on your page, and there's not another man alive that can come within two hundred of it. My page is worth eighty-four dollars to me. It takes exactly as long to fill your magazine page with long as it docs with short ones—four hours. Now, then, look at the criminal injustice of this require- ment of yours. I am careful, I am economical of my time and labor. For the family’s sake I’ve got to be. So I never write metropolis for seven cents, becuse I can get the same for city. I never write policeman, because I can get the same price for cop. And so on and so on. I never write valetudinarian ull, for not even hunger and wretchedness can humble me to the point where I will do a word like that for seven cents. I wouldn't do it for fifteen. Examine your obscene text, please; count the words.” He counted, and said it was twenty-four. I asked him to count the letters. He made it 203. From tht day to this I have been a devoted and hard-working member of the heaven-born institution, the International Association for the Prevention of Cruclty to Authors, and now I am laboring with Carnegie’s Simplified Committee, and with my heast in the work.—Clip ped. 1 it goon the record ; read it out loud.” Considerations Concerning the Alleged Ix a pinch, use Allen's Foot-Ease. Nothing New P8008 is betow that ladies criticized each other's clothes in the seventeenth as in the twentieth ury—and in “fonetik” spelling. In 1686, May or June, Bridget Noel wrote to her sister, the Countess of Rutland: “My Lady Gansbourer meet us at Burley, but in sutch a dres as I never saw without disput. Her jengan manto is the worst of its kind, it is purpel, & A great dele of green, & a letel gould, & great flours, ther is some red with the green, and noe lining, which luks a bomenable.”—Youth's Companion, “Shave Yourself” “The man who shaves himself before breakfast in the morning has a pleasure which is never known by those whose faces are not familiar with the razor or for whom it is wielded by another. “The operation creates a sense of cleanliness, opens one’s eyes to things as they are, dissipates the cobwebs in the brain which accumulate during the night, and assists in establishing amicable relations with the world for the beginning of the day.” Well lathered, you can shave yourself with the “GILLETTE” in three to five minutes any and every morning in the year at a fraction of a cent per day. The blade of mny Razor, the “GILLETTE,” is the only new idea in Razor Blades for over 400 years. This double-edged, thin-as-a wafer blade is held by the Gillette frame in a perfectly: rigid manner (which avoids all possibility of vibration), thus ensuring a com- fortable, safe and uniform shave—which conditions are not obtain- able with any other make of razor. With the “GILLETTE ™ a slight turn of the handle adjusts the blade (which is always in position) for a light or close shave with a soft or hard beard. The “GILLETTE” holder triple silver plated will last you a lifetime, and when the blades become dull, throw away and buy 10 Brand New Double-Edged “GILLETTE” Blades for 50c. No blades re-sharpened or exchanged. The price of the “GILLETTE” set is $5.00 everywhere, Sold by the leading Jewelry, Drug, Cutlery and Hardware Dealers. Ask for the ** GILLETTE "" and booklet. Refuse all substitutes and write me to-day for special 30-day free trial order. Care of Gillette Sales Co., 228 Times Building, New York City Gillette Safety NO STROPPING. No HONING. MMAZOF HINCKEL & WINCKLER Frankfurt a/Main LIFE’S Record Automobile and Accessory Advertising 1904 . . . 20,350 lines 1905 . . . 45,378 lines 1906 . . . 47,168 lines The first six months of 1907 show an increase over the same period in 1906 of over 36 per cent. Grand Prize St. Louis 1904 Send for Cat od secure comicbooks.com