Life — July 4, 1907 — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HOW TO CUSS AN EDITOR ‘The number of obsolete words that are to be found in a complete dictionary of the English language is considerably larger than the people have any idea of. The following let written by ana poet to an editor who had treated his poetry with derision, furnishes some idea of them Sir: You have behaved like an impetiginous scrogle—like those who, envious of any moral celsitude, carry their unglicity to the height of cresting sympesiacally the fecund words which my polymathic genius uses with uberty to abligate the tong ave crassly parodied my own pet words, though they were trangams! “Twill not coascervate reprasches. 1 will aduce a veil over the at which has ¢ cerptible heart lent on the focil vancy must have given when I offered to become your fantor and adminicle. 1 will not speak of the lippitude have shown in exacerbating me, one whose genius you should So 1 tell you, with mental ingra| mfered even my indis: lem ion which my coadju he oblepny you have approached with mental discalceation. out supervacancous words, nothing will render ignoscible your conduct to me. “Twarn you that I would vellicate your nose if T thought that any moral diarthross therchy coukl be performed—if I thought I should not impignorate my reputation, tachygraphic scrogle, hand with your crass, inquinate fantors! Draw oblecta tions from the thought if you can of having synchronically lost the existimation of the greatest poet since Milton.” And yet are to be found in the di Bits I these we tionary. — THE LAW OF COMPENSATION id her husband Mike cad yer toime nights? he said Bridget had been going outa great deal, spleased. “Bridget, where do ye Ye're out iv'ry avenia’ fur two weeks, p, Mike! I'm gettin’ an edication, wot ate ye learnin’?” said her indignant husband. Why, to-night we learned about t “Compensation,” ssid Michael “Why, Taun't explain: is poor, the sense of thaste is all the sharpe she answered. ¢ laws of co “What's that?” but. fur instance, if the sense of smell sation.” and if yez are blind ye can hear all the better “Ah, yes,” suid Mike Fur instance, the other is longer t's Icike this a man is born wid wan leg shorter than the other, thoughtfully. “1 see Sunday Magazine ElRRE Aut NULLuUs A POUTE REQUEST “One of the most polite men that ever lived i this town Lon Hobart,” said a prominent citizen of Bushby to a stranger inthe village. “We were always p whilst he was here, and by what I learn they've got every reason to be proud of him out in Stony Gulch, where he now resides “Yes, he went out there in the inte ” continued the Bushby man, glad to have a new listener. “Some of our folks went out there last year, and Lon showed 'em round. ‘They said that in one place, where it was kind o” dangerous and open, there was a big placard stuck up, and on it Lon had printed “Please do not tumble down the shaft. it made ‘em fecl at home right off wd of Lon’s manne They sai "Youth's Companion. ROOK TAKES KNIGHT BEHIND THE TIMES “So you are Ananias!" said the recently arrived Sh “There is a club on earth named after you." es; I have heard of it. But things have progressed. T don't believe an artless, uncultured prevaricator like myself could qualify for membership in it.""—Washington Star Ir was hardly fair for a faith curist to let his baby die by that the system may be adapted to per {phia Ledger system, however admirah sonal parental use.—Phila PRECEPT AND PRACTICE “The mind is a marvelous thing,” said Professor Zachariah ‘Terwilliger to his psychology class. His lecture and its sequel are printed in the New York Sun. “Let us consider,” went on the worthy sige, “the process expressed in the good old homely phrase, ‘making up one’s mind.’ I am on the threshold of an What I determine to do may have a grave bearing on my future. First I ponder over the matter carefully. Took at it in every aspect, examining itsearchingly in all lights, from all angles. By the indefinable processes of reasoning I ar- rive ata certain conclusion. But that is not all. “Asa man of discretion, it behooves me to secure counsel. I listen carefully to judgments, noting zealously each person's indi- vidual bias. Then I assort and catalogue these outside opinions “next step aside paychically and view thearray. Having, as T modestly beg to claim, a plastic, although notably individual mind, I am able thus to project myself into the personalities of others, and view my own impressions and my own status as they might view them. This. young gentlemen, isan especially valu- able exercise. I urge you to cultivate the faculty. ~ Finally, I give one last, sweeping survey to the whole subject. ‘Then I decide; my mind is made up irrevocably. No stress, no reats could alter that decision ; no cajolery, no urging could modify it. For, next to moderation and open-mindedness, there is nothing so valuable as firmness. “This illustration has been taken from actuality toan unalt The students departed, much impressed slow of self satisfaction, sought his home him at the door. “Zachariah,” matter?” “Yes, my dear, I have thought it over and decided to say no.” “Really?” 'There was a touch of irony in the good lady's tone. ‘ll, T've thought it over, too, and I've decided you must accept. It would be nonsense to” Mrs. Terwilli 1's aspect was ominous. Very well, my dear, meekly. “All right ; do not let us have any words. 1 shalll accep important decision. Thave come rable decision.” The professor, ina Mrs. Terwilliger met she said, “have you made up your mind on that interjected the professor quickly and Of course of course A UTERAL TRANSLATION When General Kuroki visited Vale and heard the college yell, according to Mr. John Kendrick Bangs, in Harper's Weekly, he turned to one of the interpreters in the party and asked, “What are they saying?” “They have just remarked." exclaimed the interpreter, “that are very glad, indeed, to see you, and that they hope you will come again and stay longer. ‘They congratulate you upon your victories in the East, and, in conclusion, they wish to inform you that you have been unanimously elected a Son of a Gambolier.” EXPECTED FINISH "Yes," said the prospective purchaser, “I always select an tomobile by its motors. But don't you pay any attention to its finish?” asked the salesman, who had been showing the upholstering and brass trimmings. “Oh, no. or ina haystack.""— Ail of my automobiles generally finish up in a tree “hicago News. Lire, is published every Thursday. $5.00 a year in advance. Postal Union, $1.04 a ra, Single current copies, 10 cents from date of publication, 25 cents by alll Nowsdealers in Great Britain ry Lane. 1 |. AcEsts. Avenue de Postage to fore Saarbach's News Exch: News Exchange, 9 Rue in countries in the Back numbers, after three months ‘The International News Company, Breams ge. 1. Georg New Coventry Street, Leicester Square. W.. London; Saarbach's . Paris; Saarbach’s News Exchange, 1, Via Firenze, Milan: ompunied by stamped and addressed envelope lustrations in Livy. are copyrighted and are not fo be reproduced Prompt notiscation should be sent by subscribers oj any change of dress Vor guarartee of puri see back \abel on everybatle: Tats WY OLD GLORY WAVES ITS FOLDS OVER EIGHTY MILLION PEOPLE HUNTER WHISKEY STIMULATES THE MULTITUDE AND FORTIFIES THE INNER MAN. WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md.