Life — April 18, 1907 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Pe ADVICE TO AERONAUTS IF YOU WANT TO LAND, DON’T HOLD ON TOO LONG “Certainly not, my boy. How can you ask such a silly question ?”” “And decent people don’t care for you, do they “No, no. But really, you mustn’t such things. You are too young.” Arthur began to pucker up his face. “T want to be respectable,” he cried. “What a boy!” exclaimed his father, impatiently. “Always crying for the moon, What put such an idea into your head? Don’t you know it’s impossible, in our station ?” “But, papa, can’t I swap off my insurance company or my street car line for a seat in the Senate? And wouldn't I be respectable then ?” His father laughed. “Why, my dear,” he replied, “that would only make matters. worse. Assuming that you were even entitled to the slightest respect from anybody now, you would lose it if you did that.” H father put his arm around him. Now, Arthur,” he said, gently, “don’t cry, but listen to what I have to say. You are a manly little chap.” Arthur involuntarily straightened up at this. LIFE- 547 “And you must try to understand that there are some things which even you can’t have. Cultivate the spirit of un- selfishness. Make up your mind you will take things as they come. And now just sit down and think this over.” All the rest of the day Arthur was very thoughtful. But that evening, as he tiptocd up to his parents to kiss them good night, he said: “Thank you, dear papa, for what you said. I think I understand now. I’m going to keep my street car line and my subway and my insurance company and play with them until L get tired, and then I shall put them away with my other toys. But I’m not going to even think about being respectable, because I know that wouldn’t be right.” And Arthur’s father and mother looked at each other fondly And his mother said “ Arthur dear, we are very proud of you, for you have won a great victory. And don’t forget to say your prayers before you get into bed.” ToL, MM. A Sprig Sog ‘OU must wake and call me early, call me early, mother, dear, To-morrow'll be the gladdest day of all the glad New Y t out my winter flannels, mother, my chest protector! Nz Don’t fail to get my arctics, too, for I'm to be Queen of the Oh, mother, I am quite (kchoo!) the happiest Grip germs are stealing through me, and my cycs I’ve influenza, tonsilitis and pneumoni-a— And yet I shout with laughter loud, for I'm to be Queen of the May! ver yet re wringing wet; Yed, modder, cawd me eardy, zat I may spray my throad, Ad soag my fed in mutard (I’m hoarse ad ady goat!) But nebber mid. Brig garlads, I’b feeding awful gay— It is the gladdest, merriest tibe, for I’b to be Queed ob de May! ‘Women Cab Drivers 'HE news that five Frenchwomen have passed the Police Prefect’s examination, and are licensed to drive cabs in Paris, should delight all rational tourists. ‘The fact that one of the cabwomen is a ci-devant countess and that another is the wife of a cabman, who is said to be jealous of her skill, fails to interest us; but any invasion of the field must be a change for the better. The cab-drivers of Paris are outside the pale of civilization. They are relics of barbarism, preserved intact from an age without sweetness and light. Bloated, drunken and brutal, their serious occupation is beating their horses; and their sport is running down the unfortunates who cross the streets on foot—a sport as carefully protected in Paris as fox- hunting is in England. What chickens and cats are to the motorist, pedestrians are to the Paris cabman. He sights them from afar, and devotes himself single-mindedly to their destruction. It is his sacred right to run them to cover and bowl them over if they are not agile cnough to escape. Women, having notoriously less sense of humor and less love of sport, may consent to forego this privilege. It is a matter of regret that the chosen five should all—to judge from their pictures—be unduly stout, for they will certainly get stouter. The huge bulk of the Paris cabmen and the ex- ceeding leanness of their horses is one of the preposterous things about the service. A size limit is the next reform in order. Agnes Repplicr. 4 comicbooks.com