Life, 1907-04-11 · page 5 of 24
Life — April 11, 1907 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct sections: **"Sanctum Talks"** (left) depicts a conversation between an older woman and younger woman about marriage and relationships. The dialogue humorously contrasts their experiences—the older woman has been married multiple times and advises treating husbands with "absent treatment," while the younger woman appears naive about matrimonial matters. The satire mocks both romantic inexperience and the cynical approach some took to marriage. **"Cock Robin" (right)** is a literary parody referencing the nursery rhyme. It humorously presents conflicting witness accounts about who killed Cock Robin, satirizing how multiple unreliable sources provide contradictory explanations—likely mocking sensationalist journalism or legal proceedings where testimony becomes absurd. Both sections use wordplay and exaggeration typical of Life's satirical style.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Sanctum Talks si OOD-MORNING, Lire.” “Good-morning, madam. This is = Mary Baker” — To be sure. Won't you be seated?” “Thank you.” “How are things in Concord?” “Concord! That isn’t its name any I've changed it.” “Dear me. As bad as that? T thought you had gotten rid of all claims.” “So did I. When the first thing I knew the McClure claim started up.”” “How unfortunate!” “And while we were beginning to treat that along comes the Glover claim.”” “You must have your hands full with all these errors of mortal mind.” “T have. It’s pretty sad, Lire, after working hard all my days to establish a religion on a paying basis to have to be investigated.”” “Well, we all have to come to it sooner or later. There’s Perkins and McCurdy and Harriman, all sufferei “True. But to think my own son” — “Perhaps, if I may say so, you gave him absent treatment too carly in life.” , that inexperienced.” “True. You had only been married ‘once then. But now?” “Now, Lire, Lam syndicated. Really, it. Twas so-young and own affairs. “T wouldn't care. They're all imagi- nary, you knot “So they are. Still, that sy “You refer to Frye, Farlow and the other claim agents?” “Well, Mrs. Eddy, here’s my advice: Treat them the way you tre: son.”” “How's that?” ve them a good, strong, enduring dose of absent treatment.” ed your TO GET AWAY FROM ONE SPOT." Varying Opinions ER father thought he was a cad, His father thought her crude; Her mother thought him “simply mad,” His mother thought her rude; Her uncles thought he was a churl, His uncles thought her dense, But he thought jer “a corking girl” And she thought him immense! Sidney H. Aarons. Cock Robin (New York, 1907) “Who killed Cock Robin? ‘1,’ said the Sparrow,” (“But twenty-seven alienists can prove I did it under the influence of a brain storm, with an unwritten law on the side. Hypothetically" ——) “Who saw him die? ) ‘T,’ said the F (“But as I don’t care to waste six weeks, serving as a witness, I’m on my way to Europe."’) “Who told the news? ‘I,’ said the Fish,” (“And I got exclusive space rates on it and a promise of a job at reporting the trial.””) “Who'll toll his knell? aid the Bull,’ (“With the kind permission of the Anti- Noise Society.) “Who'll be chief mourner? “1, said the Dove.” (“Black was always becoming to me, any- and the papers will hint that he was in love with me.”) “Who'll sew his shroud? ‘I,’ said the Beetle,” (“Unless the Shroud-Fitters’ Union de. crees another strike in the meantime.”) And all of the birds were a sighin’ and sobbin’ For the warm “Trial Extras” in the case of C. Robin. Albert Payson Terhune 'HE Indian of the past, whose home we shattered, has had to wait, but he is getting his revenge on many of us day by day, comicbooks.com