Life — March 14, 1907 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

-LIFE- ine Mu President Eliot ONTEMPORARY Harvard is a monument to one man’s brain and many men’s money. Some presidents have colleges; some institutions have presidents; some presidents are the State. Charles W. Eliot is a president, an institution and Harvard. He vies in interest with Bunker Hill and the Granary Graveyard. He has transformed Harvard from a suburb of the Parker House into an incubator for Exalted Persons, ylum for athletic lame ducks and a depository for hypnotized millions. He is a president who presides without violence or vociferation ; he is admired for the gifts he has, not for the gifts he gets or gives. He has made Harvard pop- ular and populous in spite of her athletic committee; he has made the Republic tributary and the octopi contributory to his brain factory. And he has shown that it isn’t neces- sary to become muscle-bound in order not to be a mollycoddle. His schools have made law interest- ing and medicine palatable; and his foot and mouth depart- ments for horses and men have as greata vogue as his Radcliffe refuge for Boston beauties and Puritan poctesses. As they say on the Stadium, ‘Prexy is hot stuff.” When the Rough Rider races to Commencement he leaves his broncho on the Cambridge frontier, to Holworthy, walks to the College yard and is a shrunken personage by the time Prexy suavely says: “You ma i dore, if you are good.” does made diminuendoes by the hand-wave of Harvard’s Highbrow. Roosevelt HEN radicalism threw up its hat for Roosevelt, rough-house and reform, the conservatives climbed into their cyclone cellars and the timid took to the tall timbers. Theo- dore was born in New York, modeled in Montana, hatched in Cuba, trapped in Albany, magazined in Washington, burned in Brownsville and sassed in ’F risco; he is a living proof of the value of the motive f ink and inspiration, pen and publicity, hypnotism and hot air. The Rough Rider is Cosmopolisincarnated ; the blood of all the clans of earth, and alittle Irish, flows in his anda litle Irish isa dangerous thing. Theo- dore is master, boss, dictator, author- NOT EXACTLY A MOLLYCODDLE ity, the Greatest Ever, the Encyclopedia TR Americana; he is an expert on bears, babies, bob-cats, spelling, sagas, science, canals, coons, Cuba, laws, liars, language, stories, Storers and stogies and molly- coddles; and if it were not for the Consti- tution, Congress and the Supreme Court, he'd have Willie Hohenzollem and Cipriano Castro looking like frivolous amateurs. Theodore is for Peace on Earth, per- sistently, pugnaciously, parlously; peace, if it takes pistol, poniard and powder to procure it. European wags, recognizing his heroic efforts, have awarded him the Nobel prize. Though hale and hearty otherwise, the patient President suffers in silence from two incurable maladies with fatal Latin. names, which in time will remove him to that region where press-agents cease from. troubling and typewriters are at rest. These maladies are cacoethes scribendix and juror loquend:. comicbooks.com |