Life, 1907-03-07 · page 33 of 52
Life — March 7, 1907 — page 33: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**The Main Cartoon:** Nesbitt Benson's illustration shows a man gazing at a dress shop window while a woman stands beside him. The accompanying poem, "Once on a Time" by Madeline Bridges, contrasts old and new courtship dynamics. **The Joke:** The satire plays on the famous 1857 poem "Nothing to Wear" by William Allen Butler. Historically, when asked to elope, a woman claimed she had nothing suitable to wear. Now, the satirist suggests, women have *too many* options—obsessively debating between yellow lace, blue, grey, scarlet, white, pink, and nile-green gowns while the bewildered man watches helplessly. **The Social Commentary:** This mocks both female vanity and the modern woman's newfound consumer power and independence. The final couplet sardonically asks whether any woman anywhere still lacks clothing—suggesting modern abundance has replaced scarcity. The bottom section contains an absurdist Russian spy story parodying melodramatic adventure tales, featuring comically Russian-sounding names and implausible plot elements.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
— nee S NESBITT BENSON 353 Once on a. Time NCE on a time, there lived a man, A man, and lover, who asked the fair And dear one, who held his heart in thrall, To go with him, out—no matter where— And—history has it, this maid replied And—told the man, she had “nothing to wear!"” But now—when a woman is She says to the man: “ How ni And I'll wear my yellow lace gown perhaps The black one is prettier—or—I gue: I'll wear your favorite blue—come, please, Do try and help me to choose a dres: ‘My last two new ones—but, never mind— You admire me in grey? 7 think, ] seem Too much like a nun. . . I might wear— oh, no— Mauve makes me look old. I know you'll scream If I mention scarlet? My white gowns?— well— One of my white gowns is just a dream— * But white issocommon. The pink foulard Is a dear little beauty. Still, I don’t care To wei my nile-green is And the poor man marvels, with won- dering stare, If there ever lived, anywhere under the sun, A girl who had nothing to wear? Madeline Bridges. IRST AMERICAN CHILD: Here I ° ~ A am ten years old and my parentsactu- =r ally objected to my going to the matinée. Seconp AMERICAN CutLp: The truth WHEN A MAN’S IN LOVE is that parents nowadays are getting spoiled. Short Stories of All Nations Russian ELEN KNAWDOFF stood in the door of her Siberian prison, looking in vain for her lover, Ivan Skidoosky, who was due to rescue her. Only one thing could prevent—and that was Count Kaska- whisky, Chief of the Secret Police. At this moment the Count was in secret session with His Majesty, the Czar, in the Winter Palace. Only the Royal Guard, the members of the Duma and a Japanese messenger boy were present. Although the snow was rapidly falling all over the land, things looked dark for Helen. The cruel guards ever and anon felled her to the ground with clubs, but each time she rose bravely with a sweet Christian Science smile. Skidoosky was now only eighty miles away. In the meantime the band of trained wolves sent out by Kaskawhisky was closing in upon him. In his hand he held a free pardon for Helen, with passage to America over the Hamburg-American route. Skidoosky was no slouch. He advanced his sparker slowly but cautiously, His tires hung in ribbons. The best he could do over Siberian roads, on his rims, was eighteen miles per hour. And thewolves! They came on thick and fast. Suddenly, et, Skidoosky opened the exhaust. Such a smell was never seen above the thirtieth parallel. The wolves sank back. The day was saved. “Here,” said Skidoosky, thrusting his paper into the hands of the head of the prison, “release 41,144 instanter, or I'll re- port to the Duma.” Continued on page 356 comicbooks.com