Life — February 21, 1907 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“CIEE * “You are right,” said the Philosopher, “for, after all, if he be a real Fool he is likely to be harmless, and even from a Fool one may possibly learn something “But he may not be a Fool,” objected the Ethical Teacher. “We should be extremely careful”. “Let us,” interposed the Head Moralist, “test him. Our next Public Meeting takes place to-morrow. We will have this poor Fool take a share in it, and if he be a proper and full-fledged Fool, why, then, it will be time enough to determine his disposition The next day the whole town convened in the public square to discuss the progress of the human race. The Fool was brought out, closely guarded. ‘This, however, had no effect upon his spirits. He smirked on all. He winked at the wife of the Head Moralist. He nudged the lady president of the Ethical Club. He flirted and gibed with all who approached him. “Ts it possible for you to repress yourself?” asked the Head Moralist. “Even a Fool, as you claim to be, should have some circumspection.”” The Fool bowed low. “How can I, being a Fool, pay heed to what you say? Tra lala, my masters! Here's a gay jig for you,” and he danced up and down the platform in front of the Philosopher, who was just beginning to read an important paper on the Metaphysics of Government. “Come now,” said the Head Moralist, angrily, “your folly will be shortly lashed into obedience if your conduct isnot more seemly. But let us dispose of this Fool at once. If he is a good Fool, and one worthy of care, we will keep him. Fool, be tested. We will give you the platform. ‘Tell us what you know. Have you prepared a paper? Read it, good Fool. We would know of you at once your views on Good Government, Ethics, Socialism, Morality. Speak out!” The Fool grinned as he pulled from his pocket a manuscript. “Certainly, my masters,” he said, “I shall be only too glad to give you a taste of my entertainment. Indeed, I have listened to your talk until Iam right glad to hear the sound of my own voice.” So saying he advanced to the front, while all the company of Moral- ists, Philosophers, Reformers and so forth prepared to give him their attention. The Fool flourished his arm in the air over his fool’s cap. “Once,” said the Fool, “I learned the language of Caterpillars, and it happened in this wise. I lived in a foolish garden, and in this gar- den was a cherry tree that in my folly I loved, and took pride in. Now, while I was away on a jaunt, searching for new quips, some Caterpillars took abode in my tree, and when I came back they had built on its branches a network of nests, which made me angry, and I was about to turn it up, when I said to myself, said I, with a high, diddle, diddle, ‘I'll learn the Caterpillar language,’ just because I was fool enough to be curious about a thing that did not concern me. So in three days I learned the language, and having leamed it, I ap- proached the first Philosopher Caterpillar I saw, and I said to him, ‘O Philosopher Caterpillar, tell me truly why you have devastated my cherry tree.’ “With this he smiled and said, ‘O poor Fool! O unworthy and in- consequential Fool! We have done it, of course, for the good of the Caterpillar race. There are mechanics among us,’ said the Philosopher Caterpillar, ‘who are now considering how we can hereafter devastate twice as much area as heretofore in the same time.’ “For what?’ said I. “To produce, you poor dumb Fool,’ replied the Philosopher Cater- pillar, ‘a better brand of Caterpillars.’ “And then he lowered his voice to a purr. ‘You must know,’ he said, ‘that the ultimate good of all Caterpillars is furthered by de- stroying cherry trees.” ““Ah, but,’ said I, looking closely about me—for my eyes were ac- commodating themselves to the world of Caterpillars spread out, ‘my good friend, some of you Caterpillars get the ripe, luscious cherry leaves all to yourselves, while others are pushed aside to live on bare twigs and still others drop to the ground in their exhaustion and are trampled on. And you'll all of you die soon; eh, you old curmudgeon, and who cares?’ said I, ‘What’s a Caterpillar, anyway?’ said I, ‘and Stearns stock cars have proved ____in International and other competi- tions absolute superiority over every other make. Y ‘We use foreign materials where needed and spend as much time finishing each stock car as other makers put only on their special racing machines. TE ARNS crank shafts are cut cold from the solid billet. Heat reduces the quality of the perfect steel employed,and while few crank shafts are made of such fine matcrial, Stearns crank shafts test 49 to 50%, stronger than others of the same material formed with heat. A portion of the 2100 hours" labor that perfects the Stearns car gues into this perfected workman. ship. $4500. The easy-runaing qualities of a "30"" in highest _pertection— the ponerol a "6" when necded. ‘The catalogue tells how. Write to-day, 3, Pats 1N9G, BH VELAND, O, & Partrktge) BOSTON: A. E. Morrison Co. ‘Auto. 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