Life, 1907-02-07 · page 48 of 52
Life — February 7, 1907 — page 48: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This anecdote satirizes the theater etiquette problem of the early 1900s: women wore enormous hats decorated with ostrich plumes, grapes, and ribbons that completely blocked other patrons' views of the stage. The joke centers on **A.M. Simpson**, identified as "the oldest Odd Fellow in the world," who politely requests a woman remove her hat. She ignores his increasingly firm requests. Simpson then retrieves his own hat and puts it on—instantly triggering angry shouts from the entire audience ("Hats off down front!"), forcing the woman to remove hers immediately. The satire exposes the hypocrisy of theater etiquette: one person's polite complaint goes ignored, but collective social pressure works instantly. It also mocks how absurdly large these hats were—they required explicit audience enforcement to manage. This reflects genuine historical frustration: oversized women's hats were a documented theater nuisance until the practice was eventually discouraged through social convention.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ig Ui Se 18 D. &C. check fo nt cash on a future order. Our New Guide to Rose Caltare ng Rove Catalogne ‘pages. Tels raid Ndeacribes, “2C, Rows and THE DINCEE & CONARD CO., Leading Rose Growers of West Geovr, Pa. Estabtished 180, 10 Greesboasea, Vicks L GUIDE vic! OF FREE HARDY BABY RAMBLER ROSE—Ready to ble joors or out, by mail prepaid, 10 cta Guiy cos to a costorerds ia petea, wun Catalog: Saale Viek's boas, sovMala Bt Es Rochester, W-. Frequent Spring Part JAPAN Frese inet soos 30 TOURS $270 o's EUROPE ‘i FRANK C. CLARK, 96 Broadway, New York Alves’ VIRGINIA Corailisiy a bit of Alvord's Old Virginia G Relish and it is sure to be the fear and every other pa ed with iitmost care and com- Vunder the personal super of Mrs. E. 1. Alvord. Book Sent Free eipe" tells free careqest xe Ivord's Old Virginia Corn fe CaNsixe A Wonderful Ruse ‘THE late A. M. Simpson, the oldest Odd Fellow in the world, had the following ex- perience at a New York theatre some years ago: In those days women weren't compelled to take their hats off in the theatre. Consequently a good many kept their hats on, and the people behind saw nothing of the stage. Mr. Simpson satin his orchestra-chair, enjoying the play famously, when a woman in a two-foot hat plumped down in the seat in front of him. He sighed. He sat, so to speak, on tiptoe. He craned his neck to the right and to the left. But in vain Now that this woman had come, he could see nothing of the stage. He saw only two black ostrich-plumes, a bunch of grapes, a humming- bird and a bow of pink satin ribbon. Mr. Simpson was a modest man. It was not his nature to disturb any one. Nevertheless, he did not often get toa New York theatre, and now that he was in one he did not propose to miss its benefits through no fault of his own. So, after a good deal of silent suffering and a good deal of bashful hesitation, he leaned forward, touched the woman in front of him, and said in the politest tone: “Madam, will you kindly take off your nat?” The woman ignored him—ignored him abso- lutely, He said a little more loudly: “Will you please take off that big hat, madam ? I can see nothing behind it.” She turned, gave him a scornful, withering look and settled back into her former position “Madam,” said Mr. Simpson very firmly, “if you do not remove that hat, something most un- pleasant will happen.” She ignored him again Mr. Simpson reached down under the seat, got his hat, and put it on. Instantly, from all parts of the house, there came a loud and fero- cious chorus: “Here, take off that hat!” “Hats off “Hats off down front!” off your hat!” “Off with your hat! Off with it!” ‘The woman removed her hat instaptly. At the same moment Mr. Simpson, chuckling, removed his own. Then the uproar ceased.— —Lippincott’ S. GREAT BEAR SPRING WA “Its purity has made it) famous. Mveor GREEN said to his servant one morning: “James, I have left my mess boots out. I want them soled.” “Yes, sir,” the servant answered. The major, dressing for dinner that night, said again, “I suppose, James, that you did as I told you about those boots?” James laid thirty-five cents on the bureau. “Yes, sir,” said he, ‘and this is all I could get for them; though the corporal who bought ’em said he'd have given half a dollar if pay-day hadn’t been so far off.""—Argonaut. IRST MILLIONAIRE: Hard lines these days SECOND MILLIONAIRE: Yes; our relatives are waiting for us to die to get our money, and the rest of the world doesn’t want to wait that long.— New York Stn Soups Stews and Hashes, are given just that « finishing which makes a dish perfect, by using Lea & Perrins’ Sauce THE ORIGINAL WORCESTERSHIRE It is a superior relish for all kinds of Fish, Meats, Game, Salads, Cheese, and Chafing Dish Cooking. It gives appetiz- ing relish to an otherwise in-, sipid dish. Beware of Imitations, See that Lea& Perrins’ Signature is on the Label and Wrapper. touch” John Duncan's Sons, Agts., N. Y. OLD CROW RYE A STRAIGHT WHISKEY H. B. KIRK & CO. SOLE BOTTLERS, NEW YORK "2 comicbooks.com