Life, 1907-01-17 · page 34 of 60
Life — January 17, 1907 — page 34: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct pieces of satire: **"Gold Mines"** mocks the prevalence of fraudulent mining stock schemes. The text humorously advises readers that worthless mines (those *without* actual gold) are more profitable investments than real ones, since they're easier to sell. It's absurdist commentary on widespread financial scams targeting gullible investors—purchasing "gold mines" for 30-60 cents that contained no gold whatsoever. **"Hurray!"** satirizes reckless automobile driving. A timid chauffeur becomes dangerously aggressive after his employer gives him "three or four stiff drinks of whisky" to loosen him up. The passengers, initially appreciating caution, grow terrified as the intoxicated driver accelerates to 50 mph—presented as humorously irresponsible behavior. This reflects early-1910s anxieties about automobiles and intoxication. The accompanying cartoon "Modern Highwaymen" shows speeders ignoring a speed limit sign, reinforcing the traffic safety theme.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
a a = sonst ostetaberers + = {FZ HE price of gold mines, in com- TUE MOTORETTER, Toto MODEL Gold Mines Nes2 mon with all other necessit has been going up lately. It is still possible, however, to. pur- chase a fairly good gold mine for from thirty to fifty cents Of course, if one is really care- ful, has an overparticular tem- perament, and wishes to be entirely on the safe side, then it may be well to pay a little more. Sixty cents for a first-class gold mine is, however, the limit Gold mines are of two kinds—with gold and without. A good gold mine, with gold, ought to be bought at from twenty to twenty-five cents; without gold, all the way up to half a dollar. If a gold mine has no gold in it, it is easier to sell. But if it has gold, then there is alw the temptation before one of attempting to find out how much gold there is in it. This, of course, is ex- pensive, and is the reason why a gold mine is not worth so much as one that is sure and safe and known not to contain any gold. It is highly desirable in laying in your winter or spring stock of gold mines to see that the directors go with them. A gold mine without a printed. list of directors is hardly worth the paper on which it is located. In buying a gold mine always look at the certificate of stock first. If this certificate of stock contains a_photo- graphic reproduction of the mine, then LIFE do not under any circums ces buy the mine. This pic- ture is almost positive evi- dence that the mine really exists. Alw make sure before you buy a gold mine that it doesn’t exist. That is the only kind that pays. Geta gold mine if possible that is made of cork, rather than gold. Cork floats. Hurry ! (Parke has invited Lane out in his auto. Lane, after some doubt, finally consents. They start.) ANE: I wouldn’t have gone with any one else but you. But I know your man is careful. Parke: Dear me, yes; too careful. “How's that?” (Whispering) : He had a bad accident once, and it’s made him timid.” “Well, I'm glad of it. But really, old man, he’s doing pretty well, isn’t he?” “Oh, but he’s timid.” “T’m glad of that. I’m scared to death of these things, anyway. Isn't he—hit- ting her up?” “Just wait!” (Turning pale): don't sce that he is so timid. Ghee! We must be going fifty miles an hour.” “T fixed him.” (Turning pale): “What did you do?” (Conjidentially) :*Just. wai see. I gave him three or four stiff drinks of whisky. It’s only just. beginning to work, Too Bad HE Springfield Republican printed last week a pamphlet by Dr. Christison, of Chicago, reviewing the case of Richard Ivens, convicted on his own confession of the atrocious murder of Mrs. Hollister in Chicago just about a year ago. Ivers was executed, but Dr. istison makes out a very strong and interesting case for the theory that Ivens was in an hypnotic state when the Chi- cago police extorted the confession from him, and that he had nothing at all to do with the crime except that he found the body. Professor William James and Professor Munsterberg, of Harvard, ex- pert psychologists, were both of this opinion, and tried—as did Dr. Christison —to prevent Iven: xecution. It is very mortifying when a man has been executed for a crime of which he has been formally found guilty in a court of justice, to have a lot of authoritative and ingratiating doubts about his guilt survive him. It is bad enough to have that happen in lynching cases, but worse in cases where procedure has been formal, because it reflects so painfully upon juries and the public intelligence. Heard at a Winter Resort R, FLORRIDDER. I had a great many more patients last year than. I have this. I wonder where they have all gone to? Mrs. Otpun: Well, all we can do, doctor, is to hope for the best. MODERN HIGHWAYMEN Country Officer: FIFTY DOLLARS, SiR. YOU WERE EXCEEDING THE SPEED Liwrr. jooKs.com