Life, 1907-01-10 · page 8 of 24
Life — January 10, 1907 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes bachelor life through two pieces: **"Maxims for Bachelors"** presents cynical observations about unmarried men. The text mocks male hypocrisy—if a bachelor is religious, he's a hypocrite; if charitable, he's showing off; if affectionate, he's weak. The accompanying caricature of a man's face suggests these are universal male faults. **"Man"** expands this theme, describing how men navigate life's "crosses and perplexities." It humorously tracks male relationships: big girls kiss him as a child, but grown women won't once he matures. The satire critiques male financial instability and political unreliability, suggesting bachelors are fundamentally compromised figures—poor managers, dishonest when wealthy, and useless to their country. The page's humor relies on Victorian-era anxieties about unmarried men.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
MAXIMS FOR BACHELORS A WATCHED POT NEVER BOILS Gray for To-day n mock their useless toil, j elegance, and sich; ne long and showy annals of the rich. Man MAN is full of crosses ions. He comes into this world without his consent, and goes out against his will, and the trip bewe two is exceedingly rocky. ‘The rule of the contraries is one of the important features of the trip. When he is little, the big girls kiss him; but when he is grown, the little girls kiss him Tf he is poor, he is a bad man- ager; if he is rich, he is dishonest If he needs credit, he can’t get it; if he is prosperous, every one wants to do him a favor. If he’s in politics, it’s for pie; if he’s out of politics, you can’t place him, and he’s no good for his country If he doesn’t give to charity, he is a stingy cuss; if he does, it is for show. If he is actively religious, he is a hypocrite; if he takes no interest in religion, he is a hardened sinner. If he shows affection, he is a soft specimen; if he care for no one, he is cold-blooded. : If he dies young, there was a great future ahead of him; if he lives to an old age, he has missed his calling. The road is rocky, but man loves to travel it. rems to NEW YEAR'S AT SEA “LWILL BE KIND!” THE SHARK RESOLVED; “RIGHT NOW WILL 1 BEGIN. MARK YON EMMARRASSED STRANGER WHOM UMMAN To TAKE RIGHT IN!” comicbooks.com