Life — December 20, 1906 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MUSICAL SEASICKNESS a little book of jottings called “Notes of a Nomad.” by by Messrs. Melville and Mullen), we ordinary example of ingenuity, He was challenged. it appears, to write thirty lines on seasickness, with a musical term in every line; and bere is his first stanza If rolling is her crotchet This vessel ought to score: She spoils my rest, she spoils my She spoils my repertoire But he improves as he goes on There demi goes my dinner, As the ship on upper ( Appoggiaturas. Oh! the brute, She's pitched too high forme... « I know you'll think me very bass V1 pouse till calm prevail I's all because-they're-gooe apd set A bad jalsetto sails. 1 cannot scale the dizzy mast: The chords are very slack; Oh! bow I shake; Tknow I shall B flat upon my back enor that she strikes upon the lee; Andante up the money, should She safely reach the key. —Academy (London). INCOMPETENT In a lawsuit in Pennsylvania not long ago the question was put toa miner on the witness stand: “Were you ever hurt in the mines?” *Indade I was." responded the man ; “I was half kilt once."* “Now tell the Court whether you were injured at any other time.” continued the cross-examiner. “Ves. Twas half kilt in another “Your Honor,” smilingly interjected counsel forthe other side, “T object to this man’s testimony.” Upon what ground?” asked the judge. On the ground that, having been half killed twice, be is a dead man and therefore incompetent as a witness.""—Harper's Weett accident shortly after that.”* PLAIN ON THE FACE OF IT Plaisantin offered in payment had a suspicious rinj a bill a gold piece which Here, you've given me one of those false coins that the counterfeiters have just been arrested for “Impossible,”” answered Plaisan: alse surely it would have been SIEANT §CIS60 AMT FS A Ny Nylly Pe DREW TOO MANY KINGS A story about ing Edward is worth repeating. Just before the illness which caused the postponement of the coronation, he was racing down one of the country roads in his motor-car at a speed which was away beyond the legal lim “Hit hil” called a policeman. “Stop there, in the name of the lave His majesty “But I'm the king! “Jest you come al yer correc’ descript along this morning. said to have slackened speed and called out: of that. was the reply, “an’ let's ‘ave Yer the third blessed king wot's come Scrap Book. LOTS OF CARE “You know, George," she was explaining, "1 was brought up without any care.” * Marry me, my darling.” said George, “and you shall have 1g but care." — Baltimore Telegram CONSIDERATION OF A MOTORIST We hold no brief for the motorist, the Bystander says, but “honor where honor is due."” On a country road the other day we saw a motorist deliberately avoid running over an animal on the highway! To be exact, it was a circus elephant.—St. James's PLAYING THE PART Eugene Cowles saved two women bathers from drowning lat summer in Lake Memphremagog. In making this rescue Mr Cowles bruised his arm—it struck a rock as he dived in, Poiet ing to the scar the actor said: “When I got that bruise I felt like a young Chicagoan named Littledale, who played with me in amateur theatricals in my early youth. “ Littiedale, in one of our shows, had to leap into a river io order to escape from a wild beast. “The stage was so arranged that the river was ii ile, Littledale was to leap and disappear, striking a soft mattres a the wings, and at the same time a rock was to be dropped ina tub of water to create a splash. “ But, though the leap worked all right in rehearsal. on the night of actual performance it went wrong. There was neither mattress nor tub there, When poor Littledale jamped he fel eight feet and landed on an oaken floor with a crash loud enough to wake the dead. and there was no splashing water to drown the crash, by Jove ! “The audience, expecting to hear a splash, and bearing instead the thunderous impact of Littledale’s bones on the oat: set upa titer. But the heroic Litthedale, equal to the occasice, silenced them. “ *Heavens!* he shouted from below, ‘the water’s frozen: —Home Magazine. At A tecent dinner in London the conversation turned to the subject of lynching in.the United States. It was the genenl opinion that a large percentage of Americans met death at the end of Finally the hostess turned to an American ube had taken no part in the conversation, and said: “You, sir, must have often seen these affairs.”* Yes," he replied, “we take a kind of municipal pride is seeing which city can show the greatest number of Iynchings yearly." “Oh, do tell us about a lynching you have seen yourseli broke in half a dozen voices at once. “ “The night before I sailed for England,” sai “1 was giving a dinner at a hotel to a party of intimate friends when a colored waiter spilled a plate of soup over the gown of a lady at an adjoining table. The gown was utterly ruined. ao! the gentlemen of her party at once seized the waiter, tied 3 rope around his neck, and at a signal from the injured lady swueg him into the air.” “Horrible!” said the hostesssvith a shudder. “And did yoo actually see this yourself 2” “Well, no," admitted the American apologetically. “Jost at that moment I happened to be down:stairs killing the chef fe putting mustard in the blanc mange.""—Everytody's. the Americas, A STRAINED EXPLANATION Farr Barcarwer : I tell you that I wear a aumber two! Cures : But, madam, this shoe that you just took off is # number four “Yes, I know, but it has stretched horribly Parsioryt Roosevett is a lucky man ness gives him a fine opportunity to let go the tail of the simp fied spelling bear.—Providence Bulletin, Lire: ic published every Thursday, $5.00 a year in advance. Post 1 Union, $1.04 a year extra, Single current copies, 10 cents. 1 date of publication, 25 cents Lire is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain . Chancery Lane, Landon, E. C., England, AGeNts. ck numb to foreign countries in the No contribution after three months 9 i It be returned wnless accompanied by stamped and addressed emeape The illustrations in Live ere copyrighted, and are net to be reproduced. The International News Company, Bream’s Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address, Was on- Vor guavawttee of purity, MORE THAN 30 YEARS AGO HUNTER WHISKEY WAS PUT UPON THE MARKET. AND. FVERY YEAR ADDS Ti LENDID, REFUTATION. “KIPENED BY AGE, ITS MELLOWID” EXCELLENCE KEMAINS ADSOLUTELY UNSURPASSED, see back \abel onevery baile; Wats WY _@ NIAGARA FALLS ° MOYORK VIA NEW NEW YORK CENTRAL LINES comicbooks.com WAL LANAMAN & SON, Baltimore, Mu.