Life — November 1, 1906 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A CERTAIN missionary down South asked a colored gentleman and prospective convert the following question: “Mr. Johnson, are you not a member of the Chure he” this year, sah,” replied the ebony one. “[ joined the Church in good faith. I giv’ ten dollars to de preaching of de Gospel the fust year, and de Church people all call me ‘Brudder John- son,’ De second year my business was not so good, and I only giv’ five dollars. Dat year de people call me ‘Mr. Johnson.’ Well, sah, de third year I fell very poor, sickness in the family, and I didn’t give nuffin for de preachin’, Well, sah, arter that dey called me ‘Ole Nigger John son.’ So I left dem.” —Kansas City Independent, CHES Father consents to our marriage, but he | w $s us to wait four years! Oh, Carlo, don’t look like that, you will be still young at that time! He: My treasure, I was not thinking of my- seli.—Il Motto per Ridere, Iv a pinch, we MI ATIN INSTRUCTOR (to student transla- ting): Don’t you think it is pretty near time at you turned the page? You've rendered the t five lines on the next page already.— The Punch Bowt. AME DEALER: What! Five marks for this miserable little hare Pact THE Poacuer: Yes; you must remember the smaller it is the harder it is to shoot.—Flie- gende Blaetter. CABLEGRAM announces that the town of Kwareli, in the Caucasus, is buried under a sea of mud. Kwareli must be running a political campaign on the New York system.—Brooklyn Times. HYDRAULIC. Double-Acting SHOCK ABSORBER Formerly the “AMERIOAN) Manstactared . Mlustration shows section and how the Ww Free Booklet in fall the principle, construction, and practice of real shock absorber for automobiles—the one that IH shocks, does not stiffen the springs, and when ted needs no readjustment, Demonstrated, sold, ylied by auto dealers and garages or by GRAHAM & GOODMAN 50 West 93d Street, New York Reliable Agents Wanted. Sole Mirs, Being the Originators of the Piano Player, the patent laws naturally reserve its basic principles for our exclusive use, but the prestige of the ANGELUS was not won by this fact alone. It was achieved by genius and skill, by the restless energy employed in constantly improving and developing our instrument to the pre-eminent position which it now holds. For association with the ANGELUS wasit not fitting that we should choose the famous Knabe,recognized as one of the world’s greatest pianos? The KNABE-ANGELUS is responsive alike to the trained musician who plays it by the keyboard as well as to the music lover who plays it by means of the ANGELUS rolls. Another remarkable achievement was the combination of the ANGELUS with the EMERSON, the sweet-toned : piano of more than fifty years’ enviable repu- tation. The discriminating purchaser is immediately impressed with the excellence of this combi- nation. TIME KNABE-ANGELUS THE EMERSON-ANGRLUS. The KNABE-ANGELUS and the EMERSON-ANGELUS both possess those ex- clusive features so well known in the ANGELUS in cabinet form—the Phrasing Lever mastering time, the Melody Buttons giving subtleties of expression, and the Diaphragm Pneumatics con- trolling the power and delicacy of human touch. Correct musical expression is impossible without these three features which are exclusive with the ANGELUS and its combination instruments; and so they stand in the world of music without an artistic peer. We will send, upon request,a Purchased by Royalty, and copy of our free the World’s catalog and the Greatest Musi- name of a deal- i f ‘ cians. Descrip- er at whose ' . tive literature Store you cantry upon request the ANGELUS THE WILCOX & WHITE CO. Established 1876 How It Goes in Wall Street PAGE from Wall Street’s current logic: Bad bank statement—higher stock market. Very bad statement—much higher market. ° Good bank statement—lower stock market. Unexpectedly good statement — slump in stocks,—New York Journal of Commerce. Needed Third Pair ‘OU have three pairs of glasses, Professor?” “Yes; I use one to read with, one to see ata distance and the third to find the other two.”” —Fliegende Blaetter. » MERIDEN, CONN. “T KNOW how America was made,” said the youthful prodigy. “North America is made out of solid stuff through and through.” “And how about South and Central America?” asked the proud father of the prodigy. “Oh, they are made out of scraps.” —Chicago News. Traitor To Her Sex H, SHE’S not at all nice,” said little Elsie. “She's always wishin’ she was a boy.” “Well,” replied Mabel, “I wish I was, too.”” “T know, but she wishes it out loud, so the boys can hear her.”"—Philadel phia Press. comicbooks.com