Life, 1906-10-25 · page 11 of 24
Life — October 25, 1906 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The main illustration satirizes college presidents, captioned "Portrait of a College President When Football Takes Its Proper Place." It depicts a rotund, well-dressed man holding a large beer mug, suggesting that when football loses importance at universities, college leaders would revert to indulgence and leisure rather than serious academic pursuits. The "Men and Their Ways" section offers humorous observations about different professions and their drinking preferences—sailors prefer port, millers want sack, businessmen drink half-and-half, etc. "All Explained" presents a dialogue between a nervous man and a prominent specialist about an inflated medical bill. The patient questions the charges; the specialist justifies them by claiming the patient dressed too shabbily, implying doctors charge more to wealthy-appearing clients. This satirizes medical profession dishonesty and class-based pricing practices.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
FORTRAIT OF A COLLEGE PRESIDENT WHEN FOOTBALL TAKES ITS PROPER PLACE The World Moves NIGGARDLY heaven,” com- plained the ancient patriot, “that thou hast given me but one life to lose for my country !”” But the latter-day patriot is more en- lightened. He hasread political economy. “O niggardly heaven,” he complains, “that thou hast given me but two feet to stand pat with!” Would Bring the Younger Roots pat Cuban reporter who has been studying English showed his prog- ress in the work when he wrote, just after the rumor that the Secretary of War would visit Cuba: + “Secretary Root, Mrs. Root and all the tendrils are expected in Havana soon.” 459 Men and Their Ways Wi men drink sage tea. Sailors are fond of port. Millers must have their sack, Pawnbrokers prefer hock. Shoemakers are partial to cobblers. Pugilists like a claret punch. Business partners drink half-and-half. Artillerymen approve of high-balls. The man with a broken arm wants a sling. Thin men relish stout. Many well persons drink well water. The luggage-burdened traveler asks for porter. Poultrymen want cocktails. Cotton-growers must have their gin, Tanned summer girlsrequest lemonade. Deaf mutes like Mumm. The bald man wants a nightcap of some warm stuff. The drowning man craves something extra dry. All Explained SHORT, nervous man, holding in his hand a paper, entered the office of the prominent specialist. ‘Ah, good moming, sir. You remem- ber me. I was one of your patients.” “Perfectly, sir, Be seated.” “T have just received your bill.” “Yes, sir.” The patient waved the paper ex- citedly. “T have come to ask you for an ex- planation. This bill, sir, is four times as much as it ought to be. It’s twice as much as I can pay.” The great specialist pathetic. “Is it possible,” he muttered, “that I have made a mistake? No. That is correct. It’s all right.” “Now, sir,” exclaimed the other man, “let me tell you something. I knew you charged high. I knew you also went by appearances. And so, when I came to you, I made a point of wearing my oldest and shabbiest clothes, I did it on pur- pose. How, sir, can you, in view of this fact, dare to present me with such a whanging bill?” “That’s why I did it.” “Why you did it?” The great specialist smiled. “Certainly, sir,” he replied. “I as- sumed that no one but a millionaire could afford to wear such poor clothes as that.” looked sym- comicbooks.com