Life — October 4, 1906 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AAT §CISS0l " ON TACT + R. Day was once advising a young under+ use University to cultivate tact fear that advice on such a subject On tact the last word was spoken by le when he said I be bow y it St. Joseph News-Press t, only those already possessed of it AN eXrrer from the United States Bureau of Printing and Engraving had a peculiar experience at one of 1 His x aving being made here, the G small satebel, » Nroadway potels the other day ssion being to study and compare never left of returned to his hotel without ul never got out of his possession: the clerk he tendered in payment On receiving his bill f a brand-new twenty dollar certificate. ‘The clerk who tells the story carefully senstinized it and then passed it hack “What's “1 can’t take that Not ex kool 1 the matte manded the guest. * replied the other. “TE don’t think it's aimed the engraver. “Why, it's perfectly 4 peobably did."—Mew THE FORGETFUL SAURIAN A colored pre toa river in Louisian of them objected. “Ww er.” urged the pastor,” He took care of Jonal "the?" “Yea-a-s," admitted the darky whale’s got a memory, but ef one Jeep dar Companion. ACCOUNTED FOR patience was much tried by a servant who had a t took some candidates for immersion down Sceing some alligators in the stream, you trust the Lord? but a whake’s diffrent. A dem "gators wus ter swaller dis nigger. he de sun an’ fergit all "bout me."—It Mn. M pit of standing around wither mouth open. One day, as the maid waited upon the table, her mouth was open as usual, and her mistress, giving her a severe look, said: “Mary. your mouth is open. “Yessum," replied Mary, “1 opened i Everybody's Maga= A steetr reeacner in a West-of Scotland town called a policeman who was passing and complained about being annoyed by a certain section of the audience, and asked him to. Weel, ye sce.” replied the “it would be a hard job for me tac spot them; t I'd dae if I were you.” "What woukl you “Just ga roun’ wit the remove the objectionable ones cautious ethicer, but I'll tell ye do?” eagerly inquired the preacher hat!"—Bufalo Commercial lished every Thursday, $5.00 a year in advance Single current copies, 40 cents 1in. The International News Company, Bream's AGENTS WHAT SHE REMEMBERED Hesnaxp: Many people at church this forenoon, dear? Wire: Yes, a large number. “Goad sermon?” “Delightful.” “What was the text?” “Tt was “Humph it was—well, really, I have forgotten.” Was Mrs, Purling there?” a fall wrap of very dark Pompeiian red. f black velvet in the sides of the skirt. A small yoke trimming of the velvet covered the upper part of the chest, and was outlined with a mixed tinse] braid. A narrow braiding girdled the waist, and the cuffs were orna ented in the same way. It had a cape attachment plaited y the shoulders and attached by other plaits xiving a dolman appearance to the back do. Daily Picayune cloth, with narrow insertions waist line, She"— don't wonder that you forgot the text!" WAS CROWDED LAST rLow— Kit: THe KATZENJAMER MEETIN NICHT. THEY HAD AN ov Pug: Sort O¥ CATARACT, FN? A CLERGYMAN on an Atlantic voyage had to share a state: room with another man. “After a short while," said the clergy man, “I began to worry about some valuables I had with me, and at last I took them to the purser, saying, “I should like to explain to you that Tam very pleased with my (ellow-passenger. ‘That is, 1 find him a gentleman in every respect, and I wouldn't have you think that—well, I wouldn't have you think that my coming to you with these valuables is to be taken—er any reflection on him.’ The purser interrupted me with a broad smile, and said, ‘Oh, it's all right, sir; your friend has come to. me with some valuables of his own, and he said precisely the same thing about yourself!"—Tit- Bits <r—as TOOLE'S ONE-ACT PLAY Here is a good story of the late Mr. Toole that will be new to many of our readers: What I want is a bright, short play,” said Too! amateur, who had brought him a six-act drama. “How do you mean—a short, bright drama?” author. “Can you give me an idea?” “Oh, yes,” said Toole, “here's one. It's direct ant leaves much to the imagination. “It is in one act! “When the curtain goes up two persons are discovered on a sol, one a pretty young woman, the other a nice-looking young fellow. ‘They embrace; neither of them says a woed. Then a door opens at the back and a commercial travekr enters. He wears an overcoat and carries an umbrella. You can tell et ‘once by his mance that he is the hushand of the young woman At least, that would be the inference of every intelligent playgoer The husband takes of his coat, draws from his pocket a heavy Colt’s revolver and in the midst of the silent embrace of hero and heroine fires. “The young woman falls dead. “He fires again and the young man is similarly disposed of Then the murderee comes forward, puts on a pair of eyeglasses and proceeds to contemplate his sanguinary work, *Great heavens!" he exclaims,‘ Iam on the wrong tloor —Reynoldy’s Newspaper. FROM THE GALLERY A provincial theater in the east of Scotland is much tormented by a wit, who is a regular attender, and who insists on keeping up a running commentary on the play. Sometimes his remarks enliven a dull piece, and so the audience do pot object to bis presence. His latest hit occurred when a thrilling melodrama was being enacted ‘The principal actor was laid aside suddenly by illness, and his part had to be taken up by his understudy, who was talented but slender. Ata critical moment in the play the princess faints and falls, when the hero, coming to her assistance, hifts her in his arms and carries her out. ‘The princess on this particular occasion was as heavy as she was lovely, and the slender understudy realized the magnitude of the task that was put upon him. When she fainted, be leaned over her, but hestitated perceptibly. The hesitation was not lost on the wit, who, from his seat in the gallery, broke the stilled hush -by exclaiming, in a thia, tremulous voice: . Just tak’ what ye cam, my man, and come back for the res." London Tit-Bits. “Say, Bill, I think you are trying to boom our new ice plas a little too much!” called the head of the concern. ** What's the matter?” asked Bill. “Why, there was a lady in here just no« making a complaint,” continued the head of the concera. “She said you had guaranteed that this ice woukdn't melt."—Detrest Free Press. Is rr true that at one of Dr. Reich's recent lectures be «- claimed: Take away woman and what would follow?” Isic also a fact that a male voice cried out: We would?” No contributi will be returned wnless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope The illustrations ix Lire ere copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced. Wison- Prompt notification should be sert by subscribers of any change if address: Whe ody whaskiey that paces a compdte, quexanteed analysis on each werery, bottle Seeback \abel! Thats ait! club ord SURBRUG-Importer Th Egyptian Cigarette of Quality AROMATIC DELICACY— MILDNESS— PURITY @ Morning, Noon and Nigh Fast Trains 382 rasan, —Via New York Central Lines comicbooks.com