Life — October 4, 1906 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ST. PATRICK DISCOVERS AMERICA and Tammany Hall to be Faneuil Hall. But no good will ever come of arguing these obscure points of history, and we will pass on, bespeaking a broad toler- ance for such errors as spring more out of ignorance than out of perversity. Lacking “VY COUNTRY!” exclaimed ‘the man, because it was fashionable, and filled his mouth nicely. “May she ver, after he had repeated the sentiment over a few times, it began to strike him as a trifle illogical. “Either I don’t really wish her to be always right, or I won't be upholding her when I know’s she’s wrong,” he argued, and it looked such a very plain proposi- tion that he wondered at his warmth of a little while ago. : The chances are that he was tempera- mentally defective, somewhat after the manner of those singular creatures who imagine a man isa pretty good patriot if he does as he would be done by, whether or not he takes off his hat when the band plays ‘The Star Spangled Banner.” Dramatic Boom HE theatrical outlook is good. There are some new plays of fair promise in the New York theatres, and seventy- five million lobsters that were put into the water this summer by the Govern- ment on the Maine coast are ripening fast. + Failed to Please Hs eyes make no attempt to conceal his admiration of the beautiful young thing as she enters the parlor. Indeed, he does not want them to. “You are positively queenly,” he de- clares, enthusiastically. Am offended expression comes to her face. “Quceenly?” she asks, disdainfully. “Yes; you are a veritable queen in appearance.” Haughtily she bids him leave. “But why?’’ he inquires, amazed. “Oh, nothing. I’m a queen in ap- pearance, am I? Well, I happened to look over a lot of magazine pictures of different queens and princesses to-day, and if you think I look like them it’s time for you and me to be strangers.” O*E of Brookline’s smart young matrons, the wife of a prominent surgeon, was giving a bridge party, and consulting her husband, was advised by him to apply to one of the local under- «takers for chairs. She telephoned, and was horrified at the reply: “Oh, yes, Mrs. F—, let you have all you want at half price, because the Doctor gives us so much business!” ‘ 373 Characteristics You are The Other Fellow is TRONG-MINDED, Stubborn, Self-respecting, Vain, Generous, Extravagant, Honest, Hair-splitting, Tastefully dressed, Foppish, Courteous, Servile, Dignified, Puffed up, Manly, Brusque, Sympathetic, Inquisitive, Ambitious, Covetous, Prudent, Selfish, Frank, Rude, Refined, Effeminate, Enthusiastic, Fanatical, Eloquent, Long-winded, Witty, Frivolous, Particular, Fussy, Well-read, Pedantic, Successful, Lucky, Unlucky. Incompetent. [Ss is Humpty Dumpty’s great- great-uncle. Christopher Columbus taught him how to walk. When young he was good hearted—or, rather, good yolked. * As he grew older he got more scents. Everybody that nose him will tell you that he is very, very bad. A Dutch grocer would recommend him as a good cooking egg. But his culinary training has been neglected so long that I fear he could not make even an eatable omelet. Ht goes to see and applaud poor lecturers and bum actors. The only one who really loved him was Li Hung Chang. He uses a crutch and cane, but he is getting stronger every day. comicbooks.com