Life — September 20, 1906 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Anti- eeaee pOCTOR SHEFFIELDS Used by the Elite of the World Since 1850 Dr. Sheftield's Tooth Powder put up conveniently for Tourists. SOLD. EVERYWHERE. The “Inside” Price ARK TWAIN some time ago told this story at a dinner given to Tax Commissioner Charles Putzel at the Freundschaft Society Club Housetin New York: “Tsaw Mr. Putzel twenty-five years ago in Putnam's book store. I went in there and asked foe George H. Putnam, and handed in my card. {young man took it in, but came back and said that Mr. Putnam was busy and could not see me. Jhad merely gone there on a social call, and saned to leave. As I was going out my eye was cd to a big, fat, interesting. looking book. sion of England in the Founeenth Century by the Friars.’ I asked the price of it. ‘Four dollars,’ was the answer, “What discount do you allow publishers?’ “Forty per cent. off.’ “Well,’ [said, ‘Tam a publisher.” “He put down the figures ‘4o per cent.’ on the “Isaid, ‘What discount do you allow authors ?” “He said, ‘4o per cent.’ “Well? [said, ‘Iam an author, You can put wn, What discount do youallow the “He said, ‘20 per cent.’ The Collver Toots | ROUND THE WORLD Huma fomthe anal,” Rozte includes Siam, Java, Eeyot. North and South, India, Ceylon, ing Yangtee Ri iy Cezlon: Pekin sod ‘The Great Wall). Mancheri, Korea, japan and Honolulu. Departures Eatward November 5. December |. and January 5. Send for details and en- aoe ic members of our past season's tours, THE COLLVER TOURS COMPANY has the only Tourist Offices in JAPAN ‘Wet fe details of our original idea in travel for that fas- cnating Personal Escort for Independent Travellers JAPAN—70 Days—$600. ‘South American Tour February Sih 368 Boylston Street, Boston “Well, I said, ‘I am one on the road.’ So I took 20 per cent. for that. “He put down the figures and never smiled once. Here I was working off all these scintillat- ing brilliancies on him, and not even a spark of recognition. I was almost in despair. I thought I would try him once more, so I said: “*You know I am also a member of the Human Race. Would you allow me 10 per cent. off for that?’ “He set that down—never smiled—so I said: ““There is my card with my address on it. I have no money with me. Send the bill to my home at Hartford.’ “I picked up the book and was going away when he said: ‘Wait a minute; there is forty cents coming to you.’ —Publisher’s Weekly, Butting and Abutting Wim JENNINGS BRYAN tells the following story on himself, according to the Philadelphia Ledger. “Once, out in Nebraska, I went to protest against my real estate assessment, and one of the things of which I particularly complained was assessing a goat at $25. I claimed a goat was no ‘real’ property in the legal sense of the word, and should not be assessed. One of the assessors, a very pleasant-faced old man, obligingly said I could go upstairs with him and together we would look over the rules and regulations and sce what could be done. “We looked over the rules, and finally the old man asked: “Toes your goat run loose on the roads?" “Well, sometimes,’ said I, wondering what the penalty was for that dreadful offense. “Does he butt?’ again queried the old man. “Ves, T answered, ‘he butts.’ “ Well,’ said the old man, looking at me, ‘this rule says—tax all that certain property running and abutting on the highway. I don’t sce how I can do anything for you. Good-day, sir.’” Found She Was in Wrong N ABSENT-MINDED woman one Sunday morning walked into church, took a front seat and joined in the service vigorously, accord- ing to the Chicago Inter-Ocean. ‘Then the collec- tion ba: was passed to her, and, putting a coin into it, she looked about. She cast glances in every direction, her mind cleared, and an expres- sion of amazement overspread her face. She got up. She hurried down the aisle. She overtook the man with the collection basket. “I’m in the wrong church,” she whispered, and, taking out the coin she had put in, she hurried forth. “When the leaves begin to turn” is @ good time to turn a bottle of EVANS’ ALE upside down N. B.—No Sediment Patronize American Industries, Wear a the creation par excellence of the nation. Agencies in all the principal cities in the world. comicbooks.com